28-03-YC121

I write this sat in my room again, back in Nakri.  It is so strange to be here without Constantin.  That the rest of the house is so quiet still, with only Mama and Felix and the staff here, makes it seem even emptier.  I walked into my room and saw on my dressing-table one of the roses Constantin sent me, and was overcome with such an overwhelming sense of emptiness that I cried for almost an hour.  I will rein in my emotions before returning to duty, of course, but it is better I let my feelings out, in private, first, that I may then focus on what is required of me.

He was making breakfast when I awoke this morning, and brought it through for me in bed. How sweet.  No-one has ever done such a thing before, it was quite novel, if a little strange.  We then talked of many things, but mostly about seeing one another again, before making love one last time.  He is so tender and gentle, considerate, yet passionate.  I close my eyes even now and I can feel him, his kisses on my body, his strong arms holding me as close as possible, the muscles of his body moving under my legs wrapped around him, until... oh, but that sweet moment!

I must push such thought to the back of my mind, save them for when I am off-duty, and have time to myself.  My focus now must be on our continued efforts against the multitude of enemies that stand against us.  As Constantin tends so diligently to his duties, as I must to mine.  I had hoped to be deployed to Aridia, but, alas, it would appear there is unlikely to be any more action there.  That is fortunate for those people still left there, and no doubt our foes will rear there heads elsewhere, and we must be ready.

I have also neglected my exercises - or at least my usual ones - and must return to that routine.  I shall make sure I visit the gym hall before leaving for Mehatoor.  It shall help me focus also, for I must be prepared physically and mentally.  I have so much more to fight for and defend now.  So much more.