25-09-YC122

I had my first taste of combat against the Triglavian invaders today, taking the fight to them in their own twisted realm. Unfortunately it was less successful that I would have liked, though perhaps more so than I was expecting.  Their first few vessels proved little challenge to my Punisher, Andromeda, but a Kikimora-class presented more of a challenge.  I must admit that I had not considered the dangers of being in enemy territory and I am fortunate that the signal to my clone was still functional.  The loss of the ship is disappointing, but it is a learning experience.  The rest of today will be spent recuperating; I still feel overly nauseous after clone jumping.

Felix has apparently finished setting up his planetary industrial operations and production lines are now fully functional.  Excellent news, of course, and we will soon be able to begin the next phases.  Not a moment too soon, as Sansha activity in and around Nakri appears only to be increasing.  Simply one more enemy of the Empire to deal with, and one we intend to focus on.

06-09-YC122

I thought today would be a routine patrol, if there can ever be any such thing.  I fear that with the focus so firmly upon the Triglavian invaders, many are forgetting our more familiar foes, and the madman Kuvakei's unholy abomination of a vision has never faded.  It is frightening to think that one of this maniac's so-called acclimatisation centres was hidden so skilfully in  Thebeka, and had I not investigated the signature that had been reported by local authorities who knows how long it would have remained, permitting his hideous automatons to work their evil.  I dare not dwell on the tortures endured by the poor souls who are kidnapped and taken there.  My discovery of the place was truly God's Will, and I was His Tool, bringing Divine Wrath to the enemy, and Blessed Peace to the innocent unfortunates.

I feel that I must have been guided by God and The Eternal Empress.  The Nation's forces were numerous, but they were no match for the guns of Star of Amarr, and she sustained barely a scratch.  I shall ask Father Mikhail to give her a blessing, whilst I give thanks to both God and The Eternal Empress.  I must also admit that because of the grim nature of the task, and the haunting, disturbing nature of the enemy and their activities in this human farm, I realise that there must be more of these twisted places hidden in the dark recesses of our Empire, and not necessarily so very far away.  So many enemies, so much work to do, and I never feel as though I do enough.

Not only shall I give thanks in my prayers tonight, but I also shall pray for guidance and direction.  Now that Lilya has released me from my promise and dissolved our engagement, what other direction do I have?  I may as well give my all to the war.

I have avoided any mention of Lilya and I.  Now I have made it real, though it was real enough despite my foolish attempts to hide from it.

I think I must also pray for strength tonight, for I know already what little I have will fail me.

04-08-YC122

If my various duties were not enough to contend with, now I must deal with the tabloid press!  I suppose they must exist everywhere in New Eden, like fedo.  I cannot say that I am particularly surprised that they would take up a story that involved a gunfight in Izmaylovsky Park that involved the two largest noble families in Nakri, but I wish they had not done so.  Aside from the concerns it will raise amongst the populace that the rivalry between my family and the Koval has spilt over into actual violence, those so-called journalists simply had to mention Ishta and start the rumour about her being Sasha's field wife.

I can only hope that it is dismiss as scurrilous gossip, but should it appear as though it is getting out of hand we shall have to do something.  Of course, we cannot possibly announce the truth, not yet, so I am afraid Ishta may not be any happier with any press release.

It is not a good time for Ishta.  Her insistence on my purchasing Saira has come back to haunt her.  The foolish girl was caught selling illegal substances, her motivation apparently to make enough money to pay to get herself smuggled off the station and to the supposed freedom of the Federation.  She claims she had not made a final decision on this idiotic adventure, merely wanting the option open to her.  She can remain in her room until I decide exactly how to punish her.  I think what infuriates and disappoints me more is that I was trusting her to keep the information on the viral agents being shipped to Mehatoor a secret, and Ishta had at least enough of a glimpse of the paperwork to pique her curiosity.  There was no real information, of course, nor does Saira even know what all those numbers mean, but Ishta is insightful and she is bound to come to me with questions.

Dzerzhinsky also informs me that the same tabloid publication, Krasnaya Zvezda, has printed a story about our VORONA holding and various purchases.  Fortunately, most will easily rationalise that given what this family does, but I would prefer as few eyes on us as possible.

All of our best work is done in the dark.

04-07-YC122

I did not particularly wish to mark my birthday today, but after some thought I realised that to do so would give Mama something positive to focus upon after missing Sasha's.  It was a subdued affair, of course, with my brother still not home - and Papa refused to speak at all of Alexandr's whereabouts or mission - but nonetheless it was pleasant and joyful.  Thankfully Felix is always able to bring light and joy to a situation, so it was today.  His latest ventures sound extremely interesting and as ever he has thrown himself into the study of a subject with absolute conviction and devotion.  He is already putting operations into place for the planetary holdings we were given by Lord Sarum.  I have no doubt we shall soon see most positive returns.

Now that we have secured the systems around Floseswin, I find my duties changing again; or rather, I find myself having to occupy myself with matters of a different nature.  I have, for the most part, returned primarily to supporting Imperial Navy operations.  Orda Sand almost always has some task or other he requires my services for, and I am more than happy to oblige, if only to ensure that this family's historical links to the Navy are maintained.  I cannot help but feel, however, that there is something more important and effective I could be doing.  Indeed, should be doing.  I hope that inspiration shall be granted me soon.  I think that apart from my regular prayers of thanks and humble entreaties for my brother's safety, I shall ask God and The Eternal Empress for their Divine Guidance.  Perhaps they shall find me worthy.

01-07-YC122

After our God-given Victory in Floseswin, our forces have made significant progress in the surrounding systems.  Of course, there is still much left to do, especially as we also face those inhuman invaders, the Triglavians,. but it would appear that Tribal opposition has collapsed.  As a result we are being cycled out for shore-leave, and I was given my pass yesterday.

I immediately came to see Lilya!  Oh, how I have missed her.  She has made some changes whilst I have been away, including a new starbase orbiting Nafrivik.  I shall remain with her for the duration of my leave, although I should also take the opportunity to visit home.

Dear sweet Lilya.  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I can indeed believe it.  I did not tell her I was coming, of course, as I thought she would prefer the surprise, and I was quite correct.  I do not think I have ever seen anyone so excited, and we must have held one another in the shuttle bay for an hour before she began to show me around the new station.  It is a most beautiful facility, very tasteful in its décor and also fully practical and functional.  Not only is Lilya beautiful, but she is one of the most intelligent people I know!  I think I should enjoy visiting there when I am able.

Later, Lilya wanted to talk of our future, of marriage and children.  She is so innocent in many ways that it is quite amusing, in a sweet way, to hear her talk of children.  She becomes quite rosy in the cheeks with modesty when the subject of the mechanics of conception are mentioned.  There are so many different methods with modern medicine that we are quite spoilt for choice.  I wonder what our children would look like.  I am sure they shall be the most delightful, cherubic darlings ever to bless New Eden.  Time shall tell.  Of course, we must be married first!

It appears I have also inadvertently discovered the reason for Constantin's behaviour at the Awards Ceremony.  I knew there was something physically the matter, and I also knew he was keeping something important from me.  There are reports in the tabloid press about some sort of feud involving his family.  I am sure it is all exaggerated for the sake of sensationalist so-called news - alas if only every outlet could be as reliable as our ACN - but there is always a kernel of truth in these things, and they mention attacks and all sorts of unpleasant things that read more like some sort of gang-war from the lower levels of a station than behaviour becoming of a Noble Family.  I do so hope he has not found himself in something deadly.  Surely Ardishpur should put a stop to it.

Perhaps Ishta was right and my family ought to consider making available its services in the conflicts that occur between Holders.

28-06-YC122

I awoke this morning to the news that the Floseswin system has fallen - to Imperial forces!  I can scarcely believe it.  Our forces have fought so long and so hard, led by such brave and noble figures as Lord Newelle, that it seemed at times that Victory should never come.  I pray God and The Eternal Empress shall forgive my defeatist thoughts.  It is that Darkness, that Unclean Force, that makes me doubt so.  My part in this Victory was so very little, so insignificant, but truly I have such a magnificent example to look up to.

I do not know what Lord Sarum shall do with this Victory.  One would hope that either a significant and overwhelming strike is made against Floseswin IV itself, to drive Tribal ground forces back just as their space-borne militia has been; or if not that, then our forces that are there are withdrawn quickly and the Tribals besieged with a planetary blockade.  I know what I would do were the decision mine to make, but it is not, and I trust firmly and completely that our Commanders will make the correct strategic choices.

I wonder what will happen now.  One supposes the Tribals will marshal their forces and mount a counter-operation to regain the system.  I believe that other elements of the Crusade have made similar gains in other areas of the warzone, making the enemy's task all the more difficult.  Of course, they are tenacious and determined, and shall never simply give up.  Is it too much to hope for, however, that they may see the wisdom in requesting a truce so that all sides involved in this seemingly endless conflict can redirect their efforts against a new and insidious enemy that threatens us all?

Perhaps it is, but one can hope.

24-06-YC122

It is a sad yet true fact of military families such as ours that our loved ones are often not hear for special occasions, and so it is today.  My dear little brother is missing his birthday. I do not doubt that his team is holding their own celebration whilst they are on operations, but here everything continues just as it did yesterday and just as it shall tomorrow.  I think that Ishta finds it most strange that we do nothing in Sasha's absence, but to celebrate without him here would be the most terrible bad luck.

Poor Ishta!  As if she has not been through enough recently.  That utter fool Danylo!  I know, of all his wretched family, he is both the most vile and impetuous - who but a boy of the worst character would have done what he attempted against me so many years ago - but to think he would actually try to push our two families to war!  How he could ever think Papa would fall for such a pathetically obvious trap I shall never know.  He should count himself lucky to still be alive; Ishta is not the most forgiving of people.  Danylo will find that neither am I.  I shall allow this one to be forgotten for now, but I shall not forget it.  I shall remember this insult and assault on our family and, when the proper moment arrives, we shall have our revenge.

The Tribals have launched further ground offensives on Floseswin IV.  It seems that no matter how hard our forces in the system push to control the system as a whole - admirably led as they are by Aldrith and others - the enemy forces on the planet itself constantly threaten to overwhelm Imperial troops.  I must admit that I hardly feel it is worth the effort!  I know I should not use such defeatist language, but what will this backwater rock actually bring us?  And at what cost?  Does it have such strategic value that the loss of materiel, time, and effort, not to mention lives, will actually be an acceptable balance to pay?  Aldrith seems obsessed by it, and I fear his true talents are also being wasted.  Yet, as long as Lord Sarum commands us to fight, fight we must.

I do wonder, however, if there is a quicker way to Victory.

14-06-YC122

I have been promoted to Imperial Major!  It is true that few of the Units who aid the Crusade care much for the basic ranks of the Militia, but ever since I entered the Academy, indeed, even before, I had always wanted to achieve this rank.

Imperial Major Ekaterina Mariya deSilvestris - it has a certain martial sound to it, I think.

Of course, I had not quite expected to celebrate it the way I did.  It started with an invitation from the Directrix herself to the Awards Ceremony for the Writing Competition.  I have not followed it, but given how busy we have been, there was a chance that there would be no PIE representative there if I had not gone, and it presented a welcome break from duties.  In the end, Paladin Kley was there, as was Lord Gallius.  It was a pleasant Ceremony, and I am sure the prizes were well deserved.  Elsebeth Rhiannon swept the board, with a total of six medals, though she did not look entirely pleased about it. Tribals are so rarely grateful, and no doubt she had some sort of disagreement about being awarded a prize by an Amarrian.  Why they cannot, for one night, rise above such base hostility and simply appreciate the Directrix's efforts to celebrate all the culture of New Eden, I shall never know.  I feel sort for poor Lunarisse at times.  She puts in so much effort for so little gratitude in return.

Of greatest surprise was Constantin being there.  I had not expected to see him, especially as he was alone.  He seemed so tired and worn, I fear he is again failing to look after himself.  I  would not have let that happen.  Perhaps I should have kept my distance and leave him be, but when he appeared to be limping, or at least nursing some sort of injury, I could not help myself.

I think he was most surprised to see me.  Indeed, I know he was!  We chatted, idly, for a little while, but I could not get him to open up to me, not as he used to.  More than likely he is closing himself off to protect me, but I pray that if he will not talk to me, he at least is talking to someone.  I would have thought that a lover's role, but perhaps some lover are not up to the task.

I know I should not have, but I told him what I had been keeping inside me all this time.  Perhaps I wanted to lift his heart a little. Perhaps I wanted to lift mine.  I do not know, but as we parted I told him the truth, that I have never hated him, have never held anything in my heart but that which I have always held for him.  Now, in the sober loneliness of the next day, I wish he had not replied the way he did.  He told me he still loves me, and has never stopped.

Oh, but if only the night had stopped there.  I look back, rewind the entire chain of events in my mind and I still not know what I was thinking.  One thing I can say for sure, however, is that Commander Adams is not the shameless lothario his reputation would have so many believe.  He is, however, at once the most irreverent, frustrating clown I have ever met and a rather sweet rogue who makes me smile despite myself.  Who else but he would sit out of sight whistling some silly song that I recognised from one of our previous meetings whilst I sat there taking to Constantin?

What else is there to write?  I would have done so much more than simply slept with his arms wrapped around me last night, but he was a gentleman who refused to take advantage of me.  It is not that I was inebriated, though I had had some drinks, but I was lonely, and he could see that.  I think he was too, and he had been looking for more, though not from me specifically.  I think what changed his intentions was my mentioning being in a relationship.  I respect him for that, it is the mark of good character, but I am also grateful that he did spend the night holding me.

It was wrong, I know, and I do not know how I shall face Lilya.  I cannot justify my actions, no matter how much I may place the blame on the stress and isolation that my near constant cycle of various duties may cause me.  Lilya has not seen me for the same amount of time I have not seen her, yet I can absolutely guarantee she has done no such immoral act.

I cannot deny that it was desire that drove me, and not just the desire to avoid being alone, to feel the warmth of someone beside me.  It was also a more base desire, a carnal one, in part because of seeing Constantin yet not being able to have him, and in part because, in all truth, Edward is an extremely attractive man.

I shall just have to accept the guilt.  It is not as though it is the only guilt I shall carry with me.

09-06-YC122

My dear Kolya has been back all too briefly, but at least we know that he is well.  As the Battle of Raravoss raged, my brave brother was tasked with ensuring the safe evacuation of as many innocent civilians as possible to neighbouring system, as task he performed as admirably as anyone could.  I know the defeat will sting him, as it has all of us, but in the face of such betrayal by those who would turn their backs on their own species, what could my brother do?  What could any of us do?

Kolya was only here for a day and night before being redeployed again.  I pray to God and the Eternal Empress to keep my darling brother safe.  I pray also for my little Sasha, for he too is soon to be sent against this inhuman enemy, and whereas Kolya strikes at them with laser batteries and ship-borne weapons, Sasha role will no doubt mean that he will be against them quite literally face-to-face.

Mama and Papa are doing their part as well, and showing their beautiful hearts and humanity.  We are offering all the help we can to the refugees from Raravoss, giving them shelter, food, and work if they need it.  Felix too, has turned our industrial interests to this changed war effort.

Which leaves only myself, wondering what use I should be.  I think, perhaps, I should put my real skills and interests to use, those that took me to the Academy in the first place.  In all honesty, I have no real stomach for the war against the Minmatar.  I cannot say such out loud, of course, but I fail to see the point of it.  A waste of time, effort, materiel, and lives, for what?  What, exactly, shall it gain us?  We fight constantly over systems, pouring our energy into it, only for their militia to do the same and take the system back; and even though we have apparently held Floseswin for something near a week now, our ground forces on the fourth planet are retreating to the cities on the Southern hemisphere.  What is the use in holding a system if we cannot also hold the planets within it?  And all the while, a mutual enemy, the hated invader, relentlessly attacks systems across New Eden, uncaring of which Empire to whom they belong, supported by traitors, betrayers, and alien-sympathisers.

It is they who are the real enemy, and it is they whom we should be fighting.

02-06-YC122

The news that Raravoss has fallen to the Triglavians is sweeping through the station.  That is not strictly true, at least as I write this, but I fear that it may be true before long.  To think that there are those amongst us who would betray their own species to the vermin.  I can only pray that the invaders commit their own betray and these human traitors suffer a painful and agonising death for what they have done.

It is said that the invaders are interested in only particular types of star, which, it seems, Raravoss is cursed with.  But how often in history have invaders settled for just one small patch of territory?  Now that they have discovered there is a stratum of sub-human filth who would wilfully and fawningly do the bidding of their alien masters, they will seek to spread.  Who is to say that they cannot harness the power of other types of star.  It is true, the invaders are a plague send by God to punish us, a scourge on humanity.

Help me God.  Eternal Empress have Mercy.  I despair.  I feel such hopelessness.  I am trying to be strong in my Faith, but I fear it is not strong enough.  Even with the help of my tincture my nerves are frayed.  That is why I committed that outburst against Arrendis.  I have, of course, apologised, and she accepted it.  I was, I admit, not expecting her to be so understanding, but perhaps that merely shows my own weakness contrasted with her strength.

There must be a way, through Prayer and Faith.  I have only to be strong, and I shall try to be.  I can see the strain on my family, on Mama and Papa and my brothers, and yet they do not buckle and crack as I do.  Koyla, Dear Kolya, is my anchor.  He should be the heir to this family, not I.

The invaders are advanced in their technology, but God would not create them to be invincible.  It is a test for the Faithful, and there must be a way to pass the test.  The enemy must be prone to at least one mistake, the must have at least one flaw that can be exploited.  Perhaps their tactics? Perhaps their strategy?

The Faithful shall survive, and I shall pray for them to do so.

31-05-YC122

As much as it pains me to admit it, I realise I rather owe Arrendis an apology.  My insult to her was, on reflection, not only unwarranted, but it was entirely unbecoming of someone of my social position.  I suppose the anxiety I feel at the close proximity of Triglavian activity to Nakri, and the unpleasant revelation that there are certain parties who feel that they should be appeased by being given control of an Imperial solar system got the better of my judgement.  As much as I dislike Arrendis and as much as she has been on the opposing side countless times, in this particular instance she is an ally, albeit an uncomfortable one.  She, like many others who are not Imperial subjects, has put aside any personal feelings she may have toward the Empire and has acted in its defence.  I should, in all honesty, respect and be grateful for that.  Therefore, when next I connect to The Summit - and I still utterly detest that forum - should she be there, I shall offer my apologies.  It makes little difference whether or not accepts or acknowledges such a gesture, the point is that it is the correct and proper thing to do.

Aldrith is formulating a doctrine that we may take our own actions against this alien enemy.  The difficulties facing us are significant, but with intelligence and Faith, we shall overcome, as Amarr has always overcome.  God is on our side, and The Eternal Empress shall never allow Her children to come to lasting harm.  Of that I have the utmost conviction.

30-05-YC122

I have received a gift from Nauplius.  A little soft toy of something called a Yak.  Such a strange looking thing.  I wonder if it is a real creature.  They are symbols of Khanid culture, apparently, and in his note Nauplius spoke of his efforts to bring such to Ammatar. I think perhaps Nauplius worries too much over the loyalty of the Mandate, blinded as he is by his hatred of anything even remotely Tribal.  Still, the gift is very sweet, and, although he has few friends in the Empire, I personally do not doubt Nauplius' devotion and integrity to the Throne as I do with others who are all too ready to denounce him.

It has not been an easy few days.  The Triglavians have invaded Raravoss in force, though there have been many who have stood against them.  Sadly, however, there seem to be just as many who would willingly sacrifice an Imperial system and the subjects of Her Imperial Majesty within it just to try to appease the vermin.  Raravoss is but two jumps away from home, and the tension here is palpable.  Poor Mama is worrying constantly, though she never shows it outwardly.  Papa has been tied up in endless briefings and meetings regarding the defence effort and Imperial collaboration with EDENCOM.  I think Sasha and his unit may very well be seconded to this particular front, and Kolya is already on active duty there.  I pray God and The Eternal Empress keep them safe, grant them Victory, and return them to us unharmed.

The war in Floseswin is progressing much more positively.  Although the ground conflict has seen little change in weeks now, our forces are, by the Grace of God, securing other systems in the Eugidi Constellation.  At least this we can give thanks for.

I know, however, that I am failing in my duty.  I pray for forgiveness for my weaknesses and failings.  I lose direction so easily. I must push myself harder, and I cannot give in to selfishness when so many people are giving everything they can, and more, in the defence of our Motherland.

I must do better, and I shall.

18-05-YC122

Yebatj!

I may as well simply hand over my ships to the enemy for them to destroy at their leisure.  I knew I would lose the Tormentor, of course, but to do so so easily!  So frustrating.  A lack of concentration, a distraction.  I suspect I know all to well the cause, that foolish mail from Commander Adams asking to meet me in Kor-Azor.  Then again, I suppose it could be that Constantin has been on my mind a lot recently.  Regardless, it is unacceptable.  My maintenance crew joked about the curse of a new SKIN, and they were correct as usual.  I wonder, then, if there knowledge would lead to something that can give me more of an edge in combat situations, something that will help me focus when I am in the warzone.  If I can block out anything but the most relevant thoughts then surely that would give me more chance of being in the fight for longer.  I shall have to ask.

I am, however, pleased that Riccoda did not fall to the enemy as well.  Whoever that bitch was, she tore through me so quickly that I do not think Riccoda's Tormentor would have survived much longer, but perhaps her focusing on me gave him a chance to damage her.  Riccoda said she withdrew after destroying my ship, but I was too busy navigating my pod away to take notice.  I made my way back to Mehatoor, docked, and went down to the club.  At least I won that fight.  I must admit, there is something about the bruises and aches in the morning after that does help me concentrate, that clears my mind.  Not that the Esfand when I got back to my quarters did anything to help.  I had the strangest visions as I slept.  Hundreds and hundreds of spiders in tightly-woven nets.  I wonder what deep and convoluted meaning that has.

I think I shall agree to meet with Edward.  I am curious as to what he wants.  More than likely more of his silly flirtatious games.  At least he is entertaining.

13-05-YC122

I really must try to set aside more time to keep this diary, but my many and varied duties seem relentless, and as one cycle ends so another begins. At least I have been able to speak with Sasha about the next stage of Operation Cylinder.  His team's successful return to Floseswin, albeit with Ishta's minor case of radiation poisoning, uncovered the second Blackguard device.  Once the third is located we should have all the intelligence we need to move forward.

Of course, I could not very well have Sasha come here to Mehatoor without insisting he see Ishta.  I did not, however, expect them to go to Gottin's Lamp, LUMEN's establishment.  Quite the privilege for Sasha considering he is not directly affiliated with any of LUMEN's allies.  Unless they count the military forces of the Sarum Family as allies and I am still not completely sure if they do.

Sasha even met the Directrix, and says he found her very pleasant and friendly, as well he might!  I must admit I do not fully trust LUMEN or their agenda, not with recent events, but I cannot hold that personally against the Directrix.  She must have a lot of strength and willpower to be able to lead and exercise any degree of control over a group such as LUMEN, with all their differing outlooks and opinions.  They are not like PIE, for we have a unity of purpose and calling that gives us our strength.  Notwithstanding the apparent loss of direction and questionable entanglements with the enemy that some have exhibited recently, of course.  To think I once thought so highly of Palad Lady Elkin.

Unfortunately, my brother was not entirely the ambassador I would have hoped for my family.  Winking at the Directrix!  What was he thinking?  Far too relaxed in Ishta's company, I have no doubt.  I shall have to apologise to the Directrix for his behaviour.  As much as I love dear Sasha, he does forget himself sometimes.  That sort of thing I expect from Felix, of course, with his flippant attitude toward everything.  At least I can trust dear sweet Kolya to set a good example.

I shall also have to find time to sit my Paladin Examination soon.  It is far too overdue and I cannot delay it any longer.  I shall have been the longest serving Aspirant in PIE's history!  I must simply overcome my nerves and trust in the Divine Guidance of The Eternal Empress.  It shall be as She Wills it.

26-04-YC122

Goodness! My head!  It seems that the Diana Kim cocktail is even more volatile than its namesake.  I suppose I did drink six of them, or was it seven?  Then the two vodkas afterward.  Ishta is not even awake yet.

It was an enjoyable night.  I am glad I went.  A little party in a neutral location.  It was really rather pleasant to see so many people who, at any other time, might as easily be at one another's throats.  Commander Kley and Aspirant Onzo, Lord Gallius were there.  I have apparently not noted in this diary that Commander Kley is with child!  I had heard it from one of the PIE hangar-crew, but I was able to confirm the information last night.  I had never thought Commander Kley would be a parent, but I am so very pleased for her, if obviously somewhat jealous.  Oh, well, not everyone can have the same fate, can they?

Lord Gallius appears to be in a relationship with Lasariona Raske - I am sure I have spelled her name wrong, but I suppose that matters little here.  I was a little surprised at that, but not nearly so surprised as I was to see Lady Elkin openly kissing Arrendis!  I had no idea.  No-one has ever mentioned to me that they were together, and I can now understand why she resigned from PIE.  Well, if that is where her heart lies, so be it.  I am sure there must be people who consider that as controversial as Constantin's relationship with Melisma, but almost everything appears to be willingly accepted these days.  I do not think anything about anything makes any sense to me anymore.

I arrived rather late, due to being on duty, and I think I missed most of the singing.  Commander Kley did sing a very emotional and heartfelt tune, which was pretty, and Lord Gallius also sang.  It was most entertaining.  A varying degree of talent throughout the night, but all very much a joy to listen to.  It felt good to see so many people enjoying themselves without any sense of animosity.

Ishta also came along, and did a song herself.  Not just any song, but one in our Nakri dialect!  Her pronunciation was almost perfect, and she sang so beautifully.  Of course, she dedicated it to Sasha. Not by name, but I knew who she was referring to.  I am not sure if she will remember, as she did get quite inebriated afterward, but I shall be sure to tell him.  I wonder if anyone recorded it.  A little later we also did a duet, something loud and energetic.  It seemed to go over quite well.

Edward was there too, fashionably late as one would expect from him.  He looked at me as he sang his silly SOS song.  Honestly, he does make me laugh so.  Trying to be all enigmatic. like some debonair mystery.  I do enjoy his playful mischievousness.  It was not unpleasant to attract his attention for the evening.  I am rather glad Ishta was there, however, and in need of looking after.  I may have done something regrettable had she not been.  He and I flirt outrageously when the mood takes us, yet why should we not?  It is harmless, so long as it does not lead further, and compared to all the other things that no-one seems to comment on, it is hardly the most damning of past-times.  That said, I am sure some of the comments we passed to one another were most outrageous innuendo!  I am probably fortunate that I cannot quite recall what exactly was said.

How regretful it is that now, after such fun, were we to meet in the warzone, we would be enemies.

A gentlemen by the name of Eric, apparently a friend of Edward's was similarly full of mischief.  It was rather to one's liking to flirt a little with him too.  Eric most certainly has a devilish streak, and has no shame in openly displaying it.  A most accomplished singer also.  I hope I shall meet him again in similar circumstances.

We must have been the last ones remaining by that time, but it was impossible, not to mention rude, to leave without a toast, especially once we discovered it was Ria's birthday!  I think the two shots of vodka were just enough to take me to my limit, and it was sadly time to leave.  Strangely, it occurs to me only now that Ria made one or two comments to me in Nakrii, or something similar.  I thought nothing of it at the time, and perhaps it was not the same, as there are a few dialects throughout New Eden that sound close to it.  I should have asked, but it was just nice to hear it.  She and Eric were also drinking tea, rather than alcohol, and I meant to mention the Tea Room on our station, but it slipped my mind.  Perhaps next time.

Speaking of Nakri, I had better get Ishta home.  At least she does not look quite so green now, poor thing.

18-04-YC122

Happy Birthday, My Darling Kolya!

How lucky we are to have communications such as we have today.  Although I have been so terribly busy of late, I could not possibly allow my brother's birthday to pass without contacting him.  I do miss my family, and Kolya most of all.  Now that he has transferred over to the Sarum Navy since the restructuring, he has as much free time as I do, which is to say very little, so we are blessed that the whole family can come together through the network.  That is when it works, of course.  I should think Kolya and the rest of the family have very few problems, but here in the warzone, communications are constantly being interrupted.  No doubt Tribals electronic warfare attempts.  I suppose one cannot be surprised.  We do the same.

It seems so long ago since I faced this warzone with trepidation.  I suppose in many ways it is.  I could never have imagined, back at my very entrance into the Academy, that I would, by this point, be forming a rather impressive killboard.  Indeed, at any point.  Of course, it is nothing when compared with many other far more skilled capsuleers, on all sides, and, personally, I do not consider such things worthy of note, least of all my own, yet I cannot deny that I have come a long way.

There is, however, always a price to pay for success.  I do not mean my losses, for they, now that I have become accustomed to the inevitability of such thing, mean as little as my victories.  No, I mean the loneliness.  Everything is so filled up with duties and responsibilities of one sort of another that I barely seen anyone else in a social context.  I am so grateful to God and the Eternal Empress that I can have these moment with my family, even if it they are only through long-distance communications.  Even when I go back to Mehatoor I do not see anyone I am particularly familiar with.  There are the fights, of course, which pass the time and keep me focused, to say nothing of honing my skills, but little wonder that when I do have some time to myself it is mostly spent in the comfortable numbness of Esfand.

The klaxon again!  Another call to arms.  I barely have time to even write anymore.  I fear this region shall never be secured by anyone. A eternity of fighting.  I wonder - even if one side or another does win, what shall be left for them to display their victory?

01-04-YC122

I honestly do not know what to think about Commander Adams.  Requesting my frozen body from the battlefield in Floseswin is rather disturbing when one considers it, yet to return it to me almost immediately is an act that I can describe only as considerate, perhaps even gallant.  Such a man of contradictions.

Ah, yes, my body.  I had forgotten just how long it had been since I was unfortunate enough to suffer a catastrophic capsule rupture, but then I suppose my luck could not hold forever.  If I feel nauseous when undergoing an expected and routine consciousness transfer, then waking up under more violent conditions makes me feel even worse. The memory loss does not help in the slightest, but spending a full ten minutes vomiting is distinctly unpleasant.  At least it was only one or two hours since my last back-up from a clone-jump.

Reviewing the combat holo is actually rather amusing.  Sliding into a plex into the entire Tribal patrol did not improve my chances of survival.  It must have surprised them as much as it surprised me.  It has taken me some time, replaying it over and over, but finally I see my mistake.  My D-Scan was on 90 degrees instead of 360!  How foolish.  Too eager to get into the fight, I think.

Still, it was not a complete waste.  After getting back into it - dear, sweet Riccoda for encouraging me - I was able to assist in quite a few kills, and even got another Final Blow of my own.  A couple of pods as well.  Empty, as usual, but nonetheless the feeling of vengeance was satisfying.  I only lost two Punishers and a Maller, and, all-in-all, Victory, Granted by God and The Eternal Empress, was ours.  One hopes the Tribals will finally realise that Floseswin belongs to the Empire, but I truly begin to doubt they have the intellectual capacity to come to that glaringly obvious conclusion.

I do not know if news of my "death" has reached other ears as yet.  I do so hope Lilya does not worry if she hears about it, or Constantin either.  Aside from some lingering nausea I am quite alright.  I do wonder, though, how long I shall be permitted to fight in the front lines for.

29-03-YC122

For want of a better word, I was presented last night.  Little more than a formality, really, as everyone there is, I should imagine, already fully aware I am the heir to this family's seat.  We must all follow protocol, of course, and Representative Vanek was there to welcome me on behalf of our Liege. Ishta also came along a my retainer.  I think she was rather overwhelmed. I am sure she has been to the Sarum station before, to see Felix, but the Sarum Family Hall was likely far more than she is used to, even by Lord Pitoojee's standards.  The guests alone, which included anybody of any importance or influence - or wishing to be - in Nakri must have stunned her.  I admit that I was quite swept away myself, especially when Representative Vanek walked me around to introduce me to a number of people whose names I am acquainted , but had never met before.  Flattering, I am sure, but I could not help but notice that each and every introduction was to some handsome young eligible bachelor of some minor family or other.  Such is the price of one's position, to be little more than a political pawn.  I pray I shall have as much choice and influence over my own future as Mama, but where she was the youngest, I am the eldest, and our beloved Motherland is nothing is not strict about its traditions.  Sometimes I quite envy Sasha.  There shall no doubt be strong words and disapproval if he ever does marry Ishta, but at least no-one will conjure up some obscure, centuries-old legality as to why he cannot.

Of course, that said, any potential suitor of mine must reckon with Lilya, and not a single candidate I met last night has any hope against her!  Poor Lilya.  Another aspect of our society that she does not yet understand.  Indeed, I am surprised this has not happened to her.  Young, beautiful, intelligent, well-placed socially - what better catch could there be in the whole of New Eden?  But then, they would have to reckon with me.

The food, drink, and entertainment was, as one would expect, sublime, but there was one occurrence that I had not foreseen.  Representative Vanek took time with Ishta!  I have no idea where they disappeared off to, nor what they discussed, but she was quite pale when she returned.  I have never seen her so anxious before. She was also worryingly quiet on the journey home, speaking but briefly about a price or some such.  I feel I should have tried to elicit from her exactly what had passed between her and the Representative, but as soon as we got back to the Estate, she went straight to Sasha.  Strangely, even Papa seemed less enthusiastic than I expected him to be.  At least Mama was interested when we returned, keeping me up half the night with her questions about who was there, who they were with, what they were wearing, what everyone talked about.  It was such a delightful conversation, even though I was very tired after it all.


Operations in Floseswin have resumed, if they can ever be considered to have paused for even a moment, so no doubt I shall be returning there soon.  Sasha and his team are also going to be redeployed there again.  I do hope that business is done with soon.  Why the Tribals cannot simply accept when they are beaten, I shall never understand.  Hopefully as well, Her Imperial Majesty's forces can all work together.  After all, we are all supposed to be on the same side.

((Dear Reader,

It's been a while since I "broke character" and made a post as me, but I thought I should.  I just wanted to say that, as we go through some troubled times around the world, please look after yourself and others.  Many of us have been told, one way or another, to self-isolated, for our own safety and that of other people, and sometimes this might get quite tough.  But self-isolation doesn't mean you have to be lonely.  EvE has a great community, and friends, family, and loved ones, if not with you, are just a video- or phone-call away.  Maybe there's someone you know, perhaps elderly, ill, or living with physical or mental health concerns.  Give them a call, check how they're doing.  It might be just a couple of minutes for you, nothing big, but it might mean the absolute world to them.  We might not all be health and care professionals doing our bit to hold things together, but we can all do something.  Just because we have to be apart, doesn't mean we can't all come together.

Fly safe.  Love, Ekat.

P.S. Where are all the zombies? Honestly! Worst. Apocalypse. Ever!))

22-03-YC122

I informed Aldrith that Adams had released his body to my care.  He did not seem entirely concerned by it, essentially telling me I could do as I wished.  I have had it given Final Rites - what would I do without Father Mikhail - and interred.

I logged onto The Summit for the first time in a long time.  Constantin's assistant, Roman, was on.  He is most certainly a forthright man, if rather lacking in decorum. He spoke of Constantin driving himself hard again.  I cannot deny I felt a pang of concern.  I remember how harsh he was with himself last year, pushing himself to the point of sickness and collapse.  No doubt his Trib   Melisma will look after him this time, but I would rather not hear of him becoming ill.  I asked Roman to pass on my regards.  I do not think he quite understands the delicacy of the situation, given he was quite outspoken in his opinion about carrying messages, but I trust he will at least say some in his own way.

Today has been a quiet day, unusually.  I have felt somewhat light-headed all day.  It is probably nothing, or at least nothing a drink of Esfand shall not assist in curing.

21-03-YC122

I suppose I can understand Aldrith's frustration now.  Commander Adams apparently ambushed him as he was returning to a station to reship.  Aldrith has a habit of carrying expensive implants and caught in his pod he did not stand any sort of chance.  For some reason, I cannot fathom why, Adams decided to collect Aldrith's clone and contract it to me.  I will presume his intention was that I give it a proper and appropriate funeral, though that seems a strange thing to do given Aldrith is still very much alive.  I suppose it is not something I have every thought about.  How does one arrange one's Last Rites when one is effectively immortal?

I also find it rather ironic.  For how long did I dream of having Aldrith all to myself?  Now, here he is, sitting in cold storage waiting for me to collect him.  Not exactly what I had in mind when I thought of calling his body mine.  I suppose I should let him know and ask him what he wants done with it.

Katya and Saira are settling in well.  Obviously, Katya is having a better time adjusting, having been born into slavery.  Saira shall no doubt take longer to come to terms with it.  Ishta's help and advice shall make it easier, I should think.  Katya has Ishta's old room, and I have given Saira those next to my rooms, the ones which once belonged to Sirna.  Strange.  It only just occurs to me now, in writing their names, how similar their names are!  It was a calculated move, of course, an attempt to win Saira over by showing her how she will be treated if she merely accepts her fate and learns to live with it.  Far better than the life she had, and far better than others she may have had.  I seem to have underestimate the emotional impact, however.  As soon as she saw the room she burst into tears, overwhelmed.  Perhaps that is only natural, given her childhood growing up on the streets of some non-descript city on some insignificant backwater planet in low security space.

Cardinal Duke Chakaid has been ranting his usual overbearing rhetoric again, threatening death and destruction on Floseswin and the Tribals generally.  I was under the impression that Floseswin was under Lord Sarum's jurisdiction, though it not unlike the Cardinal Duke to involve himself in other people's affairs.

No doubt Lord and Lady Newelle, as well as the Elkin Family, will be muttering about how the Cardinal Duke is a terrible threat that should be stopped.  I do not doubt that his tedious and ranting proclamations serve only to strengthen the resolve of the enemy, and I am sure there must be more productive ways in which he could expend his apparent boundless energy, but I cannot, in all good conscience, agree with this most worrying attitude of some of our most influential families.  They seem determined to set the Empire on a course for Civil War between the Royal Heirs.  That would serve no-one's interests save the enemies', and we have so very many enemies.  There are other, less direct ways of negating the Cardinal Duke's political machinations, whatever they may be.  If only people would see the sense in using clandestine techniques!  Everyone seems so deeply enamoured of grandiose, spectacular gestures, overwhelming shows of force, as though we were all little better than posturing animals, attempting to assert our dominance over one another by appearing the biggest, stronger, most threatening.  There has never been any intelligence in that sort of thing, it simply causes everyone else to try to look even bigger, even more threatening.

Whilst the big, bad Alpha males fight over mates and kills and territory, none of them ever notice the stealthy little Athran Wildcat sneak in and steal the food.  Fools.

16-03-YC122

Damn Aldrith and his bitter cynicism!  Sometimes I wonder if he really does have Faith in Final Victory.  What of it if the Yassavi station has been destroyed?  Assets can be replaced, and this war is about far more than materiel.  It is about ideals! We are defending our way of live from those who would see it and us destroyed.

Despite his selfish and ill-mannered outburst last night, it was not the crushing defeat that he would make it appear.  It was a Victory, granted by God and The Eternal Empress, not only on the battlefield, but much wider.  In all those who observed, whether there for the moment or on later reports, in their hearts and minds it was a moral Victory.  We have shown the enemy that we shall not simply be wished away, that no matter how loud their base, animalistic howling may grow, we shall now scurry away like frightened children and some unseen and insubstantial threat.  We shall stand against them, and we shall win!

I would have thought that someone who was once a supposed Court Poet would have seen the value in such symbolism, but perhaps his creativity has withered along with his Will.  I respect Aldrith as much as I ever did, and care for him deeply, but he seems to have changed so much from the man I once knew and once held so dearly in my heart, even loved.  I fear that he now fights only because he knows nothing else, rather than because he believes, because he wants to.

Regardless, I celebrate our achievement.  Not only did we destroy a significant number of the enemy, we did so with efficiency, and minimal losses.  Credit must go to Gian Bal for his sterling leadership.  I hope I shall serve under him again.  Indeed, I shall keep TMOC in mind, in case my time with PIE should draw to a natural close.  Two Maidens, One Chalice. Such an unusual name.  I shall have to enquire as to its origin.

I also made the acquaintance of Lord Draconis.  I cannot help by have the notion we have met briefly before, but it must have been some time ago, for he appeared to have no recollection of me.  His Grace was extremely pleasant and kind, and even offered to be an ear to listen when he believed, because of Aldrith's ill-placed words, that I was demoralised in some way.  Quite the opposite, or if I was it was due to Aldrith, not the outcome of the battle - such a thrill to command an Abaddon-class for a change! I am sure I shall be more than happy to take up His Grace's offer at another opportunity, however.  I am sure his would be a most beneficial friendship.

14-03-YC122

Ishta and I went to the market today.  The slave market!  I cannot imagine that many, if any, members of my family have set foot in such a place in many generations.  However, Ishta was quite insistent that I require a Personal Secretary, to assist as I train in my new duties.  I suppose she is correct, of course. When the time comes for me to take on the role as Head of the family, I shall indeed require a capable and trustworthy Assistant.

Speaking of trustworthy, I was absolutely dependant on Ishta's judgement.  I thought two showed promise, but apparently I was quite mistaken.  Shockingly, one of the slaves for sale was a True Amarr woman, the daughter of a disgraced family.  Such times we must live in!  In the end, we were presented with a young Gallente woman by the name of Saria.  She reminded me much of Ishta, to be quite honest; that same defiance and stubborness toward her fae and station in life.  However, if Lord Pitoojee can work such wonders as to turn Ishta into a model Imperial Subject, then I am sure I can follow his example.  Such, after all, is my duty.

Once that transaction had been completed we went to the auction square.  I will not deny I was apprehensive, and with good reason.  Danylo and Osip Koval were there, intending to buy a so-called birthday present for Danylo.  Osip was wise enough to keep his distance, but his younger brother has never been blessed with an over-abundance of intelligence, and of course it was far too much for him to resist coming over in an unwise and vain attempt to antagonise Ishta and I.  Fortunately, Ishta was able to restrain herself from throwing him through yet another window, and instead decided to engage in a bidding war with Osip for a Sebiestor woman Danylo had some interest in.  What made this more shocking, of course, was the fact she was bidding under Lord Pitoojee's name, with Lord Pitoojee's money!  I have no doubt this auction will be the talk of Nakri for some time.  Especially as in the end, realising that Ishta was simply going to get herself into trouble, I placed some bids myself.  At least it was enough to push Osip out of the running, and his shout of frustration was extremely satsifying.  Ishta, eventually, won the girl, whom I think she has something of a spark of interest in herself, though what Sasha would say about that, I do not know.  I should hope they avoid more scandal..  Ishta did not stop there, however, for she immediately gifted the girl to me, as a handmaid!  I am not sure I really require a handmaid, but I suppose she can at least become part of the Household staff.   In any event, it is better than becoming a plaything of Danylo Koval.

In a rather sweet twist, the girl's name is Katya!

I have to prepare to return to the warzone.  There has been a call to arms to defend the station in Floseswin.  The Tribals seek to make yet another attempt to push us from the system.  Perhaps they shall succeed, perhaps not, but as long as we have Faith in our Hearts and Prayers on our Lips, God Willing, we shall make them pay a heavy price.

12-03-YC122

I should have surmised that Ishta would have found some way to twist our family's news to even further advantage.   Her idea is a surprise, though shows her deep understanding of our family.  I have to quite agree that whilst Lord Sarum's grant of additional facilities and resource rights is a boon of great significant, especially as it aids us against the Kovals, our family are not miners or industrialists, and apart from Felix, I doubt any of us really know quite what we should be doing with these new assets.  Ishta's idea is, if nothing else, something of a return to our ancient roots.

Holders are forever engaged in rivalries and ways to secure advantages over their political enemies.  Indeed, sometimes even their friends!  It is not uncommon for these rivalries to erupt into localised conflicts.  I dislike Ishta's brutally mercenary outlook on the matter, but she is quite right.  Many of these Holders would pay handsomely for the skills and talents of this family.  That coin could bring us even greater advantage.  One day, perhaps soon from all that Papa has being suggesting, I shall head this family, and it is my intention for it to become the dominant Noble family in Nakri, through any means necessary.  Ishta is also quite correct when she says that even Lord Sarum, from time to time, may very well have need of our abilities.

Of course, Ishta would not be Ishta if she did not have ulterior motives, though they are, one must say, selfless, perhaps even inspiring.  With the ISK brought in from both our assets and other commercial enterprises, we would be able to aid those less fortunate than Ishta, those subject to the brutalities and depredations of unworthy Masters.  It is not God's Way to harm those whom we Hold, yet many do.  I suppose now that we must, after so long, accept our Obligations, we should do so in way intend, and do the work of God and The Eternal Empress.



The Tribals appear to be massing to attempt to retake Floseswin back.  Aldrith was likely most astute when he said that we would not hold it for long.  I think our efforts there will soon be drawing to a close.

09-03-YC122

It is wonderful to have the whole family here.  Even Ramina and Ishta are here to discover Papa's news.  Of course, I am absolutely delighted to have my dear Kolya back.  It has been far too long since I have seen him, and I hope we shall have enough time before we both need to return to our duties to speak together.  I have so much to tell him, and I am sure my dear brother has just as much to tell me.

Dinner, given such an occasion, was the most splendid fayre.  The staff certainly earned their wages, but the highlight, as we expected, was Papa's announcement.  Typical Papa!  No time or inclination towards using long speeches, as usual.  He has never been the equal of Mama's beautiful eloquence.  Yet what words could have improved upon what was said?  Surely the content was magnificent enough.

Our Liege Lords, the Sarum Family, have recognised us and honoured us in doing so.  Our family has not only been commended for all it has done in service to Sarum, but we have been rewarded too!  Additional assets and facilities, including an extension to our installations on the Sarum station here in Nakri, and the issuing of resource extraction rights on Nakri VI, have been granted to us.  Such generosity!  We shall surely be on even firmer foundations now, and indeed, such a gesture has far more important implications of a less tangible, materialistic nature.  Our Gravitas with Sarum isno doubt greatly enhanced by this.

Of particular interest, indeed, something of a shock, was the fact that these additional assets include human resources.  Lord Sarum is most wise, and it has not escaped His Lordship's notice that since Her Imperial Majesty's decree, our ties to the Imperial Navy, which has been one of our main defining attributes for generations, are all but dissolved.  No longer are we able to rely on the Navy for the provision of all our needs and requirements, and it is time for us to fully invoke our Rights and Privileges as a Holder family.  We still do not hold slaves as such, for the people granted to us by His Lordship's generosity are serfs, tied to the assets and facilities with which they have come to us.  The kindness of Sarum extends even to the lowest, for are not serfs in a far more secure situation than mere slaves?  Serf and land are as one complete package.  To sell the labour would be to sell the asset, and why would we ever wish to do that?  Of course, given our status, we would need Lord Sarum's permission regardless.  I do not think we shall have cause ever to seek it.

Of course, this also brings traditional Obligations.  Aside from the physical needs of our new workers, we must tend to their spiritual needs.  We shall do exactly that.  Indeed, I believe Father Mikhail is already arranging for acolytes to come and ensure The True Faith is spread amongst them.  How strange! It occurs to me only now that Father Mikhail was not at dinner to here this announcement.  Perhaps Papa had already spoken to him.

I must say that Ishta appeared to take the news quite well.  Papa, Bless him, knew that she may find these events a little difficult to deal with, given her background, and gave her the choice of whether to stay or not.  She chose to, which I feel was the correct thing to do, and she was no doubt bolstered by being so close to Sasha.  I had expected her to at least give some sort of minor protest, but no!  I think she must accept how things are in the Empire, and it has never been made secret that we have always held these Rights, even if we have never, until now, had full reason to invoke them.

Mama and Papa also spoke of wanting to give a more active and involved role in the decisions of the family to myself.  I should hope that the two of them shall be with us for a very long time yet, but I cannot escape the fact that one day, as the eldest child, I shall be Head of the Household.  I feel nervous, but ready for this responsibility.  I know I have the greatest teachers in Creation, and the full support of the whole family.  I shall do all I can to live up to the name deSilvestris.

I cannot wait to tell Lilya, of course.  I am sure she shall be ever so excited and pleased.

I hear Kolya going to the gardens.  I think I shall join him and spend as much time as I can with my brother.

04-03-YC122

I met with Nauplius last night in Café Marlinea.  Fortunately there were no prying eyes or gossiping tongues, not that I would have cared.  My business is mine, and mine alone.  I must say that despite his unsavoury reputation, Nauplius is not uncultured.  He behaved in more gentlemanly a manner than many I have met in higher social positions than he.  That bodes well.

I was surprised to discover that he holds fealty to none.  Something of a shadow hangs over him regarding decisions yet to be made on his guilt of heresy, and perhaps his status, or lack thereof, shall change, or be afforded opportunity to, once some form of resolution is reached.  I shall watch that development with interest.

Of course, the main topic of our conversation was the matter of his so-called cursing by the Directrix's lapdog, Aria.  Unfortunately, there is little he could tell me about the nature of this apparent hex, and it appears as though Aria herself remembers little even doing it, or is loath to share the information with her alleged victim.  That would not surprise me, for she has always struck me as being far more than she seems.  Regardless, even though I put very little stock in such heathen superstitious nonsense as curses, Nauplius certainly seems to believe in its truth, and he was most eager to have me help him.  That, of course, I intend to do.  I have already spoken to Father Mikhail about this, and we agree that a Rite of Exorcism, whilst practically meaningless, would more than likely go some way to assuage Nauplius' concerns, and of course an actual Blessing of Faith would by no means do him any harm either.

In return, I have made it quite clear to Nauplius that if he desires my help, now and in the future, I expect him to abide not only by the True Faith, but also act with unquestioning Loyalty to God and Empress.  Whilst I do not think it time quite yet, I also feel that it would do well to have him publicly declare his change of ways.  Undoubtedly there shall be those who will never accept that such a thing could ever be, but let them doubt.  What matters is that another of God's Lost Children is brought back into the Fold.

And so much the better if that Child owes my family a favour or two.

03-03-YC122

God and the Eternal Empress be Praised!  Victory in Floseswin is ours!  My part in it was but small, and there is always more I know I could have done, yet I am so immensely Honoured to have served.  I am proud too, of myself, arrogant though that sounds.  I overcame much anxiety and self-doubt, and I feel confident that in the future, the very near future, I shall be able to give so much more of myself.

I am also proud of my family and all it gave for the war-effort.  Mama contacted me as soon as she heard the news, and told me that both Papa and Kolya have been summoned to Sarum Prime, though we know not why.  Perhaps it is more hubris, but I hope that it is for some little recognition for our services to our Liege Lord Sarum, but we shall see.

Aldrith has released a missive, offering his advice that rather than consolidate our position in the system, we should take the opportunity whilst the Tribals recover and lick their wounds, to remove all our forces from the area.  I am not entirely sure how I feel about such a prospect.  Perhaps it is wise, perhaps not, though were I of a position to do so, I would advocate at least leaving some clandestine forces behind.  It would be the ideal opportunity for an extension of Operation Afterlight.  Perhaps Papa will suggest it to the Military Commanders if he has the opportunity.

Certainly one cannot fault the bravery of Tribals, even if they are our enemy.  Many of them have shown far greater dedication to their own cause than so-called Loyalist to our Empire.  Surely our Motherland must weep at those who have raised such cowardly doubts about our Divine Cause, and who refused to serve God and Her Imperial Majesty as is their duty.  I can only be thankful that this campaign has ended in Victory and Vindication for those truly of the Faith.  We must be ever watchful for the enemy within, and the events of the past few months have brought many of them to light.  I hope the Ministry of Internal Order shall deal with them quickly.

Praise be to God!  Praise be to the Eternal Empress!  I shall spend this night in thankful Vigil and prayer to the Honoured Fallen.

Amarr Victor!

25-02-YC122

Happy Birthday, Mama!  Such a shame I could not be there to celebrate, but the warzone shows no sign of letting any of us have time to ourselves.  I was, however, able to contact Mama and speak to her, and I know she is not lonely, for Felix, Sasha, and Papa are all there.  I do so very much envy them the delicious feast the Ankine no doubt prepared.  How lucky they are, and what I would not trade to have my own Ankine here.  I do feel a little bit guilty for having told Mama that it was only possible to communicate with voice, but she would only have worried had she seen the bruise on my face, and she has quite enough to contend with.  Besides, it is quite honestly nothing to worry about.  A simple consequence of my hobby.

Mama also mentioned that Nikolai would be able to visit, as his transfer into Sarum Naval Forces is now complete.  That will be wonderful, for it is so long since my dear brother has been home.  I hope we are granted the opportunity to see more of one another.  How I have missed him.

Papa has apparently chosen Grigor Orlov as my replacement for Lilya's Security.  I could not agree more.  Orlov is loyal and thorough, and the security of Lilya's holdings will be in extremely safe hands.  It has, of course, reminded me that I still have much to do regarding investigation into that business on Nafrivik.  I also must see if anything has come of the analysis of the data pulled from that station on Floseswin.  There are so many real and potential enemies it is difficult to know where to begin, but with Faith and Perseverance, we shall see success.

17-02-YC122

The fighting in the Bleak Lands has been difficult, although I am pleased to say not without success.  Still the Tribals refuse to give up, and even though our morale is high I am concerned that their numbers outweigh ours.  We must remain strong in our Faith if we are to prevail.

These are, however, difficult times.  The Triglavians have mounted an attack in the vicinity of Raravoss, including Nakri.  Papa said that Nikolai has been on duty there.  I pray for my dear brother's safety.  I wonder if Lilya will help to defend my home.  I know that she does so whenever Nation or Heretics threaten it, and, oh, how I adore her for it.

That said, Lilya sent me a mail just yesterday to say she was meeting the rather notorious Tribal Raxi Elamp.  For what reason she did not say, other that it was to keep a promise made to Druur.  That she would keep a such a promise speaks much of the goodness of her heart and her trustworthiness. I know of few others who would be so faithful to a vow.  Yet, I do worry that my dear Lilya should have anything to do with such a person as that.  Woe betide should any harm to my Beloved.

I have seen on the IGS that that Tribal fool Arrendis and Constantin's whore have been at each other's throats, or at least so it seems for I cannot say I paid it much attention.  I care very little if they were to come to physical blows, rather it was something else that concerned me.  Arsia Elkin appeared to jump to the defence of Arrendis rather quickly.  I find that rather strange, given they are supposed to be on opposing sides.  I never was informed as to why she resigned from PIE.  Could this have something to do with it?  Has yet another supposedly faithful and loyal subject of Her Imperial Majesty been but superficial?  I hope it is not so, yet how severely God seems to be testing us of late.

That reminds me, of course, that the warzone, exhilirating as it is, is merely a distraction.  I must focus on more important matters before it is too late.

11-02-YC122

More successful patrols, and yet still the Tribal simply refuse to give up.  It seems as though they have support from so many quarters.  Indeed, they seem to often outnumber us, but that simply affords us more targets.  I do think, however, that we would benefit from winning more allies to our cause.

Speaking of winning allies, I feel rather moved to help Nauplius.  I am more than aware of his unsavoury reputation, yet his dedication to the Empire, or at least the war against the Tribals, cannot be doubted.  He is, apparently, suffering under a curse, placed upon him by The Directrix's diminutive servant, Aria.  I very much doubt the reality of that.  No doubt it was some piece of psychological nonsense she dreamed up, and Nauplius is more credulous than I thought.  However, it does afford an excellent opportunity to potentially build some bridges.  If Nauplius is willing to believe that Aria can weave some sort of hex, then surely his Faith makes him even more likely to accept the purification of a blessing.  I am sure I can persuade Father Mikhail to perform the necessary ritual.  Besides, blessings are real, for they are in the Name of God, and if anyone could do with some Divine Guidance, it is Nauplius.

I have also found a more constructive outlet for my energies.  Unfortunately, I cannot be on patrol all the time, much that I wish to.  However, Zhenis and Azar, aside from running a delightful tea shop and supplying me with Esfand whenever I wish, have also pointed me in the direct of some amateur sports circle.  Admittedly, it is not the past-time most are likely to expect, or approve of, for an Amarrian Lady, but my family has hardly fitted with the norms through its history.  I shall have to keep it secret, of course.  It is quite frowned on by the authorities, given they have far fewer rules than the professional circuit.  Hence the need for differing venues.  I rather think my debut in Mehatoor was rather impressive.  Poor Intaki bitch did not know what hit her.  She managed to get one or two punches in, but explaining away the bruises is easy enough.  I wonder what she was thinking about before she passed out.

I cannot be sure, but I think I may have seen Ishta and one or two of the 601st in the crowd.  I do hope not.  I would rather keep this a private matter.

26-01-YC122

Damn Ishta and her interfering!  I would have been in the warzone far sooner if had not been for her deciding I needed rescuing from myself.  That stupid maid is really to blame.  How anyone can not know to knock before entering, I fail to understand.  I am of a mind to have her dismissed, and ensure she never works again.  It is because of her and Ishta that I shall not be sending the present I had in mind, though, on reflection, perhaps it was not the wisest of decisions.

My mind was not focused, which has cost me a Coercer-class.  I cannot deny I was disheartened, after I had come so close to destroying an enemy Thorax.  I think he must have seen me as easy prey, but after rapidly taking him into his structure, I am sure he thought otherwise.  How unfortunate I could not prevent his warping away.  I must reconsider the fitting on that vessel.

I should have left the area, but I was far too focused on attempting to secure the strategic point, and did not react fast enough when more enemy appeared.  I suppose I cannot be too hard on myself.  Three against one was hardly a fair encounter, but then what can one expect from Tribals.

Aldrith was, as always, wonderful at helping regain my confidence and focus, and, in the end, I went on to assist in the destruction of three of the enemy.  I was even awarded a killmail myself!  A shame that Riccoda had stepped down from the fleet at that point, I think he would have been rather proud, and it would have been an excellent excuse to share a drink with him afterwards.

As it was, once I came off duty myself, I returned straight to my quarters, to find a notification that a contract had been issued to me in Amarr.  I was always of the understanding the individual issuing was always indentified in the contract, but this, strangely, appears to be anonymous.  My initial assumption was, of course, that incorrigible rogue Adams and another one of his insufferable whimsical gestures, but the nature of the present leads me to believe that may not be so.

It is a ship.  Gah'Matar had been kind enough to gift me, and Riccoda, a Slicer or two earlier, and I am confident it was not him.  It is a Confessor-class, and it is beautiful.  It has even been given a SKIN, the one called Cold Iron.  I have been thinking of a Confessor-class for some time, and the operations to which I may put it, so it was an insightful gift, though I recall speaking only to Commander Kley about such things, and I am absolutely sure it would not be her.  More than anything, it is the name it has been given that makes me suspiciousm but why such a gift, or any gift, would come from that person, I cannot fathom - or perhaps, I would rather not dwell on the implications, lest I read too much into nothing.

It has been named "Star of Amarr".

That is what Constantin used to call me.

24-01-YC122

Khuyovo!

Humiliation.  That is what it is.  The Archbishop and his whore publically announcing their intention to court!  Court!  As if whatever animalistic rutting that passes for pairing off for Tribals could ever be considered an actual Courtship.  It offends the beauty of that word.

Yet this is beyond my emotions.  To think that an heir to a vassal of an Amarrian Heir Family could ever enter into a legal union with some pizda from a Tribal Clan!  Surely anyone with even the tiniest sense of loyalty to our Motherland must see the implications that this will have?  Will Ardishapur really let this happen?  What if this union produces offspring?  Are we to allow Tribal half-breeds to inherit the position of Amarrian nobility?  Why not simply surrender everything to them now?  I am of a very strong mind to petition Ardishapur - and just as publically.

Of course, people will simply say it is the raving of a jealous lover.  Yes, I still love him, though I shall never admit that openly.  The thought of his foolishness and what it will mean, the damage it shall undoubtedly do, brings great pain to me.  Yet perhaps Ishta is correct in what she says.  Perhaps it is not my business, not my concern.  I should simply move on, as she phrases it.

Would that it were so easy.  No-one seems to understand, except, ironically, Constantin himself, that I cannot simply forget my feelings, drop my emotions as though they were trinkets to discard.  Have I not tried?  Or perhaps I have not tried hard enough.  Perhaps I should just cut the feeling of love out of me.  Bleed out my emotions onto the floor, for what does spilled blood ever matter?  It is as inconsequential as spilled wine. Spilled tears.

Blood and wine.  Both as meaningless and fleeting as each other, and here I am with only a bottle and a knife, my Old Friend, for company.

Ishta is right - but there is something I need to do first.

I should send the happy couple a gift.

22-01-YC122

Sasha is recovering well.  The Tribals were so cruel to him, and we are so fortunate that Ishta was so quickly to his rescue, and that of the team.  She is truly a Blessed Warrior of God, and perhaps God has smiled upon Sasha in granting him Ishta, just as God smiled upon me when She saved me from my ordeal with the Angels.  The day Ishta is finally a part of our family cannot come soon enough.

I partook in another patrol in the warzone.  We almost caught some pirate, but he was quite difficult to trap, and unfortunately managed to escape, though not before we gave him some serious damage.  I also took some damage, but not from him, rather from a Tribal wartarget who happened to pass by.  They landed as we were dealing with the pirate, and was lucky enough to strike me, but appeared to think much better of it once they realised my Punisher-class was not going to be quickly defeated and there were far more of us than there was of him!

I enjoyed the patrol. I should do more.  Whilst I cannot deny that some of the Tribals have earned my respect, the majority of them are still the rabid pack they have always been and shall no doubt continue to be.

Papa has spoken of reorganising the Household Forces, and perhaps recruiting in Nakri to bolster our numbers.  I personally think it is an excellent idea, for I have no doubt that we shall be called upon by Sarum to provide further support in the war-effort.   Of course, we shall continue to focus upon our family's age-old speciality. but more basic firepower would never go amiss.  Papa also spoke of making good use of Ishta's knowledge, experience, and abilities, perhaps along the lines of more internally-focused security.  We shall have to see what she thinks, of course, but I cannot imagine Lord Pitoojee shall be overly supportive.  It is such a shame he cannot see her real potential, though we are perhaps fortunate that he does not see her true nature!

13-01-YC122

I think I have changed my opinion of Vess.  At first I felt rather vindicated when she changed her tone to one far more humble, but I believe she is genuinely appreciative of my gesture regarding repatriating the Minmatar fallen.  Genuine I am, for I see no reason to maltreat those who gave their lives so bravely.  I have contacted local Minmatar Commanders to arrange the transfer of the deceased, and will speak with Amarr Commanders in the area to ensure it goes smoothly.

Of course, unsurprisingly, the Tribal propaganda machine has lurched into action, spreading stories about Amarrian atrocities.  All unverified, all unsourced.  Hearsay, at best.  What is most infuriating is that such things most likely have happened.  Carried out by undisciplined, dishonourable troops.  If the Minmatar actually only presented some solid evidence for these outrageous acts, we could investigate and bring the perpetrators to justice.  Yet all they do is spin wild, lurid stories, and all that will do in turn is incite the Minmatar population to violence against anyone they believe to be a colloborator, or else encourage young, raw, inexperienced men and women - no more than girls and boys, in fact - to take up vigilante arms against seasoned, trained Amarr combat personnel.  Imagine if some village youths picked up weapons against our Household Naval Infantry!  Those youngsters would be slaughtered!  It is irresponsible.  Wars should be fought by soldiers, not by civilians.

They would never dare publish what happened in East Hav - the truth that an Amarrian actually helped Minmatar civilians.

Something is not right and I cannot fathom what it is.  I joined a patrol in the warzone yesterday, and although I managed to destroy an enemy pod - which felt as exhilirating as it always does - I was a fraction too slow to destroy his ship.  Then we managed to net another, but when I reached the scene, instead of locking onto the target, I jumped through the Gate!  I even missed the defence of our station later because my pod connections were malfunctioning.  It is exceptionally frustrating.  Is it that I do not like to be parted from Lilya?  I barely saw her before I had to return to duty, and though she tries to be close as often as she can, I am often so busy we may as well be systems away from one another.  Or is there something darker at work?  I cannot seem to settle my thoughts.

Perhaps I should distract myself and undertake more patrols.  Assuming I can get my connections to remain stable.  I shall have my hangar crew investigate and effect any repairs that may be required.

09-01-YC122

Now, how they come crawling.  After all the bile and venom, weak as it was, that they tried to spit at me, how they come crawling.  Vess, suddenly polite and respectful, asking if they may be permitted to collect their fallen.  God forgive my weakness, but the Unclean Force within cries out to make them beg for my indulgence.  Yet such is not the way it should be.  The Eternal Empress would not have taken such a wicked course, and I pray to Her to give me the Spiritual strength to follow her example.  What would it achieve but to paint myself in the twisted shadows in which the Tribals try portray me anyway?  What would it gain but to play into their image of me as an Amarrian monster.  Besides, that Vess is even asking shows to all who can see that she, Arrendis and all their spiteful ilk have completed their own self-humilation.

I shall be stronger, better than that.  I shall look to the Honour of Blessed Alizabeth, the Virtue of The Eternal Empress, and the Guiding Light of God.  I shall not give my enemies, the enemies of Amarr, the enemies of God, any of what they ask for, but nor shall I be the chort that they so dearly wish me to be.

09-01-YC122

Curious.  Minmatar camera drone footage of one the last assaults on us in East Hav, perhaps the very last assault has been released, by no less that the same group that released the information on Melisma.  I have no idea how they obtained it, nor why they posted it to the IGS.  Is it perhaps connected with our mission there to obtain Intelligence on their relay station?  This will require further investigation, for they obviously have some connections or influence, which may have serious consequences.  I have spoken briefly to Papa about it, and he has put our Intel Operatives onto the matter.

Predictably, the usual Tribal ringleaders all came out to bark at the latest thing irritating them.  Worthless and aimless shots, and not a single one of them dared to address the real facts of the entire matter, the subjects that is the actual cause of their indignation.

They simply adore painting every Amarrian as an evil, twisted, voracious slaver with an insatiable lust for human trade, a two-dimensional caricature with which to scare children and indoctrinate the credulous.  Yet, it was I, and I alone who even thought to seek the safety of their people.  Indeed, some of them would have even denied those innocents safe refuge and subjected them to the horrors of indiscriminate weapons.  Not only that, but, aside from Oona Aldeland and Maira Blackfire - both of whom I now have much more respect for - not one Tribal did anything practical to effect that evacuation.  That took yet another Amarrian, my very own Lilya.  Her Humanity and Kindness are boundless, risking great danger to herself to get those men, women and children off Floseswin IV and to a place of safety.  Darling, dearest Lilya - she even went so far as to ensure those people were able to go wherever they wished to, without hindrance, and with the financial ability to do so.  Truly she is a Blessing in this dark, dangerous life.

It is also I who have honoured the memory of the Minmatar fallen, as well as our own.  The Tribals, so protest so loudly that they are Liberators, Protectors, and Saviours of their people would have let their own dead rot on the battlefield.  Thankfully, I was able to negotiate with the Commander of the Amarrian relief force that arrived for the removal and burial of all the fallen.  Those locals who stayed in the administrative building agreed, with some delicate persuasion, to arrange for one of their holy men to see to the final rites.

It is a Blessing from God that we even lived.  To emerge from the darkness to find that the Minmatar Forces had gone!  One more assault and we would have been finished.  I would dearly love for us to take credit for the victory, but though the Company showed great bravery and Faith, it was not us.  It was God, and the watchful protection of The Eternal Empress.  Indeed, perhaps even a Miracle from the Martyr Alizabeth, to whom I offered a silent prayer many times, asking her to give to me but a fraction of her Devotion and Noblility in the face of such danger and threat.  I believe she did just that, and I shall be giving much thanks for it.  She should be made a Saint!

Another Miracle is that Sasha and his team are returned to us, and are recovering from their own ordeal.  Ishta is keeping a constant vigil over him.  Such a sweet creature, she is, though few see it.  Yet how few know her true nature, her true Calling, as we do.

I wish to spend also as much time with Lilya as I may before having to return to my duties, again to the warzone.  I made promises to Lilya - promises I intend to keep.  We have much to talk about.

08-01-YC122

They came, as we knew they would, and they fought well, as did we.  We drove them back once again, but we are left now with only 45 out of a Company of 150.  The 45 of 45.  None of us are now unscathed, and I myself carry many wounds.  Yet still The Eternal Empress watches over us, and still we remain, though any more assaults must surely be the last.  The attack this morning penetrated as far as the mural of Blessed Jamyl, and as I knew they brought their camera drones, trying to revel in our final moments.  They have been denied that pleasure yet, and their bodies lay in bloodied heaps in this chamber.  All of my troops fought well, for indeed what reason do we have not to fight with the Fury of the Righteous?  In the heat of battle, with my cutlass singing, I felt a strange calm, mixed with a euphoria, as though a Blessing were upon me.  Even now, when I would expect to feel exhausted and worn, I do not.  I simply feel ready.

Strangely, they have not come as I expected, and where usually we can here them preparing from their positions, there is but silence.  Perhaps they are bringing in more insidious weapons against which we shall have little or no defence.  The Tribal leader by the name of Vess did indeed mention having, and being willing to use, such means.  So help me God, so help me Eternal Empress, as far as is in my power, I shall not allow deSilvestris troops, my troops, to be gassed or choked in a hole like rats.  I shall take two of my infantry with me and see what the Tribals are preparing, and if indeed they are making ready to use such methods, then I shall gather everyone of us left and we shall charge them.  We shall die with Honour.

06-01-YC122

The latest assault has been the Tribals' most determined yet, but again God granted us Victory.  Hard won, and we are now less than 60, but so long as our Faith and Determination remain, we shall succumb easily.  We all look like creatures of nightmare, Skarbniki made flesh, punishing those who trespass in our cthonic realm. There is not one of us who is not a bloodied, dust-covered, torn apparition.  The troops think I do not know, but I have heard them call me the Mistress of the Mine and Nocnitsa, because it is a dark as night down here.  Such a silly conceit, but these may be our last few days or even hours, so what harm shall it do for us to give ourselves epithets that no-one shall ever know.    One thing that shall remain beyond us, at least until the Tribals destroy it, is the image of The Eternal Empress some of the troops have sketched on the wall of a tunnel.  It gives is Strength and Hope to have Her watch over us, and we know our souls shall be in her care, whatever happens.  If the Tribals come again, this shall be the site of our last stand, and we shall make them pay a heavy price.  If they remain as predictable as they have been, then we have a few hours to set the last of our surprises.  Hopefully they bring their camera drones again that there may be a chance other see how furiously the Faithful fight.  No-one shall dare call deSilvestris Household forces cowards!

04-01-YC122

I have had better celebrations of a New Year, it must be said.  I decided against destroying this diary quite yet, though this has been the first opportunity to write anything as Tribal attacks have been near constant.  We have fought them off each time, though careful to conserve ammuntion as much as possible.  We have had to withdraw deeper into the mine, and I have no idea of how the war elsewhere is going.  Slowly but surely our ammunition, grenades, and food deplete, though there seems to be reasonably fresh water in various spots in these tunnels, filtering through the countless layers of rock.  After a week here, however, the air is unpleasantly stifling and there is not one of us who is not covered in a layer of dust and grime.  Yet we blunt and repel each Tribal attack through a combination of resolve, Faith, and intelligent use of the defensive opportunities of our locale.  I am sure our little surprises here and there have accounted for more than half of enemy casualties, and if they do manage to get into close quarters we are more than happy to demonstrate our superior training.  In all truth, however, unless God grants us a miracle, with our own casualties steadily mounting, we cannot hold out forever, and we shall, sooner or later, make our last stand here.

I say a week here, but by that I mean a week in the mine itself, of course.  It is closer to three weeks since we first came to East Hav.  I pray that the Intelligence we gathered was worth this sacrifice.  I believe that it was, but time shall tell.  I have been careful not to state our objective here, though I should think that the more intelligent amongst them should, by now, be at least suspicious that we have attempted no breakout or negotiations on terms.  They must have come to the conclusion that we are holding this objective to the last for a reason.  They are correct, of course.

However, a breakout may be an option to consider.  We have done what we intended to do, and the Tribals have been, at least to a degree, occupied with attempting to either dislodge or overrun us.  Combined with the evacuation of the civilians, that should have ensured enough time for things to be set in place and motion.  A section, or perhaps even just a fireteam, whilst depleting our numbers further, would have the highest chance of making it out of the mine via the less well known portals and to friendly lines, assuming there are any such forces left on this planet.  Even if not, and they find it necessary to get off the planet, a smaller number would, I feel, more easily disappear and find their way back to the Empire, especially given the training we ensure our Household troops have.

It shall have to be done soon, however, before it is too late.  The Tribals are not going to give up their attempts to annihilate us.  They have even started sending in camera drones with their assaults, presumably to capture their victory and our last moments for their bloody and distasteful entertainment.

We shall be only to happy to oblige them a spectacular.