You're where the Wild Things are...

An in-character blog set in the universe of EVE Online. These are the private diary entries of Lady Ekaterina Mariya deSilvestris, a minor Amarrian Noble and Capsuleer. Other existing characters within EVE will be referred to throughout, though any opinions and views expressed are those of this character. These entries may touch on or directly address mature themes such as violence, sexuality, race and ethnicity, and mental health. As noted, any views are those of the character.

Before we begin, I feel it important to say a few words on the subject of mental health. Ekaterina, or Ekat as many call her, is something of a troubled soul. This aspect of her character is a personal choice I have made, for very personal reasons. Although EVE is a game in which the players can immerse themselves to a greater or lesser degree as they wish, mental health is a very real issue for many people. Those two simple words cover a myriad different issues and concerns that affect people directly or indirectly every day all, over the world.

If you find yourself affected by any issues touched upon in these posts, or if you face your own troubles, please know that there are people out there you can turn to; doctors, friends, family - there is ALWAYS someone. If you are an EVE player, then Broadcast 4 Reps chat is available, staffed by wonderfully kind and good-hearted volunteers. If you know of someone who has mental health issues, then please just let them know you are there. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a smile, a cup of tea, a quick phone call about last night's game - just a little thing to show they aren't forgotten.

You Never Fly Alone.
29-03-YC122

For want of a better word, I was presented last night.  Little more than a formality, really, as everyone there is, I should imagine, already fully aware I am the heir to this family's seat.  We must all follow protocol, of course, and Representative Vanek was there to welcome me on behalf of our Liege. Ishta also came along a my retainer.  I think she was rather overwhelmed. I am sure she has been to the Sarum station before, to see Felix, but the Sarum Family Hall was likely far more than she is used to, even by Lord Pitoojee's standards.  The guests alone, which included anybody of any importance or influence - or wishing to be - in Nakri must have stunned her.  I admit that I was quite swept away myself, especially when Representative Vanek walked me around to introduce me to a number of people whose names I am acquainted , but had never met before.  Flattering, I am sure, but I could not help but notice that each and every introduction was to some handsome young eligible bachelor of some minor family or other.  Such is the price of one's position, to be little more than a political pawn.  I pray I shall have as much choice and influence over my own future as Mama, but where she was the youngest, I am the eldest, and our beloved Motherland is nothing is not strict about its traditions.  Sometimes I quite envy Sasha.  There shall no doubt be strong words and disapproval if he ever does marry Ishta, but at least no-one will conjure up some obscure, centuries-old legality as to why he cannot.

Of course, that said, any potential suitor of mine must reckon with Lilya, and not a single candidate I met last night has any hope against her!  Poor Lilya.  Another aspect of our society that she does not yet understand.  Indeed, I am surprised this has not happened to her.  Young, beautiful, intelligent, well-placed socially - what better catch could there be in the whole of New Eden?  But then, they would have to reckon with me.

The food, drink, and entertainment was, as one would expect, sublime, but there was one occurrence that I had not foreseen.  Representative Vanek took time with Ishta!  I have no idea where they disappeared off to, nor what they discussed, but she was quite pale when she returned.  I have never seen her so anxious before. She was also worryingly quiet on the journey home, speaking but briefly about a price or some such.  I feel I should have tried to elicit from her exactly what had passed between her and the Representative, but as soon as we got back to the Estate, she went straight to Sasha.  Strangely, even Papa seemed less enthusiastic than I expected him to be.  At least Mama was interested when we returned, keeping me up half the night with her questions about who was there, who they were with, what they were wearing, what everyone talked about.  It was such a delightful conversation, even though I was very tired after it all.


Operations in Floseswin have resumed, if they can ever be considered to have paused for even a moment, so no doubt I shall be returning there soon.  Sasha and his team are also going to be redeployed there again.  I do hope that business is done with soon.  Why the Tribals cannot simply accept when they are beaten, I shall never understand.  Hopefully as well, Her Imperial Majesty's forces can all work together.  After all, we are all supposed to be on the same side.
((Dear Reader,

It's been a while since I "broke character" and made a post as me, but I thought I should.  I just wanted to say that, as we go through some troubled times around the world, please look after yourself and others.  Many of us have been told, one way or another, to self-isolated, for our own safety and that of other people, and sometimes this might get quite tough.  But self-isolation doesn't mean you have to be lonely.  EvE has a great community, and friends, family, and loved ones, if not with you, are just a video- or phone-call away.  Maybe there's someone you know, perhaps elderly, ill, or living with physical or mental health concerns.  Give them a call, check how they're doing.  It might be just a couple of minutes for you, nothing big, but it might mean the absolute world to them.  We might not all be health and care professionals doing our bit to hold things together, but we can all do something.  Just because we have to be apart, doesn't mean we can't all come together.

Fly safe.  Love, Ekat.

P.S. Where are all the zombies? Honestly! Worst. Apocalypse. Ever!))
22-03-YC122

I informed Aldrith that Adams had released his body to my care.  He did not seem entirely concerned by it, essentially telling me I could do as I wished.  I have had it given Final Rites - what would I do without Father Mikhail - and interred.

I logged onto The Summit for the first time in a long time.  Constantin's assistant, Roman, was on.  He is most certainly a forthright man, if rather lacking in decorum. He spoke of Constantin driving himself hard again.  I cannot deny I felt a pang of concern.  I remember how harsh he was with himself last year, pushing himself to the point of sickness and collapse.  No doubt his Trib   Melisma will look after him this time, but I would rather not hear of him becoming ill.  I asked Roman to pass on my regards.  I do not think he quite understands the delicacy of the situation, given he was quite outspoken in his opinion about carrying messages, but I trust he will at least say some in his own way.

Today has been a quiet day, unusually.  I have felt somewhat light-headed all day.  It is probably nothing, or at least nothing a drink of Esfand shall not assist in curing.
21-03-YC122

I suppose I can understand Aldrith's frustration now.  Commander Adams apparently ambushed him as he was returning to a station to reship.  Aldrith has a habit of carrying expensive implants and caught in his pod he did not stand any sort of chance.  For some reason, I cannot fathom why, Adams decided to collect Aldrith's clone and contract it to me.  I will presume his intention was that I give it a proper and appropriate funeral, though that seems a strange thing to do given Aldrith is still very much alive.  I suppose it is not something I have every thought about.  How does one arrange one's Last Rites when one is effectively immortal?

I also find it rather ironic.  For how long did I dream of having Aldrith all to myself?  Now, here he is, sitting in cold storage waiting for me to collect him.  Not exactly what I had in mind when I thought of calling his body mine.  I suppose I should let him know and ask him what he wants done with it.

Katya and Saira are settling in well.  Obviously, Katya is having a better time adjusting, having been born into slavery.  Saira shall no doubt take longer to come to terms with it.  Ishta's help and advice shall make it easier, I should think.  Katya has Ishta's old room, and I have given Saira those next to my rooms, the ones which once belonged to Sirna.  Strange.  It only just occurs to me now, in writing their names, how similar their names are!  It was a calculated move, of course, an attempt to win Saira over by showing her how she will be treated if she merely accepts her fate and learns to live with it.  Far better than the life she had, and far better than others she may have had.  I seem to have underestimate the emotional impact, however.  As soon as she saw the room she burst into tears, overwhelmed.  Perhaps that is only natural, given her childhood growing up on the streets of some non-descript city on some insignificant backwater planet in low security space.

Cardinal Duke Chakaid has been ranting his usual overbearing rhetoric again, threatening death and destruction on Floseswin and the Tribals generally.  I was under the impression that Floseswin was under Lord Sarum's jurisdiction, though it not unlike the Cardinal Duke to involve himself in other people's affairs.

No doubt Lord and Lady Newelle, as well as the Elkin Family, will be muttering about how the Cardinal Duke is a terrible threat that should be stopped.  I do not doubt that his tedious and ranting proclamations serve only to strengthen the resolve of the enemy, and I am sure there must be more productive ways in which he could expend his apparent boundless energy, but I cannot, in all good conscience, agree with this most worrying attitude of some of our most influential families.  They seem determined to set the Empire on a course for Civil War between the Royal Heirs.  That would serve no-one's interests save the enemies', and we have so very many enemies.  There are other, less direct ways of negating the Cardinal Duke's political machinations, whatever they may be.  If only people would see the sense in using clandestine techniques!  Everyone seems so deeply enamoured of grandiose, spectacular gestures, overwhelming shows of force, as though we were all little better than posturing animals, attempting to assert our dominance over one another by appearing the biggest, stronger, most threatening.  There has never been any intelligence in that sort of thing, it simply causes everyone else to try to look even bigger, even more threatening.

Whilst the big, bad Alpha males fight over mates and kills and territory, none of them ever notice the stealthy little Athran Wildcat sneak in and steal the food.  Fools.
16-03-YC122

Damn Aldrith and his bitter cynicism!  Sometimes I wonder if he really does have Faith in Final Victory.  What of it if the Yassavi station has been destroyed?  Assets can be replaced, and this war is about far more than materiel.  It is about ideals! We are defending our way of live from those who would see it and us destroyed.

Despite his selfish and ill-mannered outburst last night, it was not the crushing defeat that he would make it appear.  It was a Victory, granted by God and The Eternal Empress, not only on the battlefield, but much wider.  In all those who observed, whether there for the moment or on later reports, in their hearts and minds it was a moral Victory.  We have shown the enemy that we shall not simply be wished away, that no matter how loud their base, animalistic howling may grow, we shall now scurry away like frightened children and some unseen and insubstantial threat.  We shall stand against them, and we shall win!

I would have thought that someone who was once a supposed Court Poet would have seen the value in such symbolism, but perhaps his creativity has withered along with his Will.  I respect Aldrith as much as I ever did, and care for him deeply, but he seems to have changed so much from the man I once knew and once held so dearly in my heart, even loved.  I fear that he now fights only because he knows nothing else, rather than because he believes, because he wants to.

Regardless, I celebrate our achievement.  Not only did we destroy a significant number of the enemy, we did so with efficiency, and minimal losses.  Credit must go to Gian Bal for his sterling leadership.  I hope I shall serve under him again.  Indeed, I shall keep TMOC in mind, in case my time with PIE should draw to a natural close.  Two Maidens, One Chalice. Such an unusual name.  I shall have to enquire as to its origin.

I also made the acquaintance of Lord Draconis.  I cannot help by have the notion we have met briefly before, but it must have been some time ago, for he appeared to have no recollection of me.  His Grace was extremely pleasant and kind, and even offered to be an ear to listen when he believed, because of Aldrith's ill-placed words, that I was demoralised in some way.  Quite the opposite, or if I was it was due to Aldrith, not the outcome of the battle - such a thrill to command an Abaddon-class for a change! I am sure I shall be more than happy to take up His Grace's offer at another opportunity, however.  I am sure his would be a most beneficial friendship.
14-03-YC122

Ishta and I went to the market today.  The slave market!  I cannot imagine that many, if any, members of my family have set foot in such a place in many generations.  However, Ishta was quite insistent that I require a Personal Secretary, to assist as I train in my new duties.  I suppose she is correct, of course. When the time comes for me to take on the role as Head of the family, I shall indeed require a capable and trustworthy Assistant.

Speaking of trustworthy, I was absolutely dependant on Ishta's judgement.  I thought two showed promise, but apparently I was quite mistaken.  Shockingly, one of the slaves for sale was a True Amarr woman, the daughter of a disgraced family.  Such times we must live in!  In the end, we were presented with a young Gallente woman by the name of Saria.  She reminded me much of Ishta, to be quite honest; that same defiance and stubborness toward her fae and station in life.  However, if Lord Pitoojee can work such wonders as to turn Ishta into a model Imperial Subject, then I am sure I can follow his example.  Such, after all, is my duty.

Once that transaction had been completed we went to the auction square.  I will not deny I was apprehensive, and with good reason.  Danylo and Osip Koval were there, intending to buy a so-called birthday present for Danylo.  Osip was wise enough to keep his distance, but his younger brother has never been blessed with an over-abundance of intelligence, and of course it was far too much for him to resist coming over in an unwise and vain attempt to antagonise Ishta and I.  Fortunately, Ishta was able to restrain herself from throwing him through yet another window, and instead decided to engage in a bidding war with Osip for a Sebiestor woman Danylo had some interest in.  What made this more shocking, of course, was the fact she was bidding under Lord Pitoojee's name, with Lord Pitoojee's money!  I have no doubt this auction will be the talk of Nakri for some time.  Especially as in the end, realising that Ishta was simply going to get herself into trouble, I placed some bids myself.  At least it was enough to push Osip out of the running, and his shout of frustration was extremely satsifying.  Ishta, eventually, won the girl, whom I think she has something of a spark of interest in herself, though what Sasha would say about that, I do not know.  I should hope they avoid more scandal..  Ishta did not stop there, however, for she immediately gifted the girl to me, as a handmaid!  I am not sure I really require a handmaid, but I suppose she can at least become part of the Household staff.   In any event, it is better than becoming a plaything of Danylo Koval.

In a rather sweet twist, the girl's name is Katya!

I have to prepare to return to the warzone.  There has been a call to arms to defend the station in Floseswin.  The Tribals seek to make yet another attempt to push us from the system.  Perhaps they shall succeed, perhaps not, but as long as we have Faith in our Hearts and Prayers on our Lips, God Willing, we shall make them pay a heavy price.
12-03-YC122

I should have surmised that Ishta would have found some way to twist our family's news to even further advantage.   Her idea is a surprise, though shows her deep understanding of our family.  I have to quite agree that whilst Lord Sarum's grant of additional facilities and resource rights is a boon of great significant, especially as it aids us against the Kovals, our family are not miners or industrialists, and apart from Felix, I doubt any of us really know quite what we should be doing with these new assets.  Ishta's idea is, if nothing else, something of a return to our ancient roots.

Holders are forever engaged in rivalries and ways to secure advantages over their political enemies.  Indeed, sometimes even their friends!  It is not uncommon for these rivalries to erupt into localised conflicts.  I dislike Ishta's brutally mercenary outlook on the matter, but she is quite right.  Many of these Holders would pay handsomely for the skills and talents of this family.  That coin could bring us even greater advantage.  One day, perhaps soon from all that Papa has being suggesting, I shall head this family, and it is my intention for it to become the dominant Noble family in Nakri, through any means necessary.  Ishta is also quite correct when she says that even Lord Sarum, from time to time, may very well have need of our abilities.

Of course, Ishta would not be Ishta if she did not have ulterior motives, though they are, one must say, selfless, perhaps even inspiring.  With the ISK brought in from both our assets and other commercial enterprises, we would be able to aid those less fortunate than Ishta, those subject to the brutalities and depredations of unworthy Masters.  It is not God's Way to harm those whom we Hold, yet many do.  I suppose now that we must, after so long, accept our Obligations, we should do so in way intend, and do the work of God and The Eternal Empress.



The Tribals appear to be massing to attempt to retake Floseswin back.  Aldrith was likely most astute when he said that we would not hold it for long.  I think our efforts there will soon be drawing to a close.
09-03-YC122

It is wonderful to have the whole family here.  Even Ramina and Ishta are here to discover Papa's news.  Of course, I am absolutely delighted to have my dear Kolya back.  It has been far too long since I have seen him, and I hope we shall have enough time before we both need to return to our duties to speak together.  I have so much to tell him, and I am sure my dear brother has just as much to tell me.

Dinner, given such an occasion, was the most splendid fayre.  The staff certainly earned their wages, but the highlight, as we expected, was Papa's announcement.  Typical Papa!  No time or inclination towards using long speeches, as usual.  He has never been the equal of Mama's beautiful eloquence.  Yet what words could have improved upon what was said?  Surely the content was magnificent enough.

Our Liege Lords, the Sarum Family, have recognised us and honoured us in doing so.  Our family has not only been commended for all it has done in service to Sarum, but we have been rewarded too!  Additional assets and facilities, including an extension to our installations on the Sarum station here in Nakri, and the issuing of resource extraction rights on Nakri VI, have been granted to us.  Such generosity!  We shall surely be on even firmer foundations now, and indeed, such a gesture has far more important implications of a less tangible, materialistic nature.  Our Gravitas with Sarum isno doubt greatly enhanced by this.

Of particular interest, indeed, something of a shock, was the fact that these additional assets include human resources.  Lord Sarum is most wise, and it has not escaped His Lordship's notice that since Her Imperial Majesty's decree, our ties to the Imperial Navy, which has been one of our main defining attributes for generations, are all but dissolved.  No longer are we able to rely on the Navy for the provision of all our needs and requirements, and it is time for us to fully invoke our Rights and Privileges as a Holder family.  We still do not hold slaves as such, for the people granted to us by His Lordship's generosity are serfs, tied to the assets and facilities with which they have come to us.  The kindness of Sarum extends even to the lowest, for are not serfs in a far more secure situation than mere slaves?  Serf and land are as one complete package.  To sell the labour would be to sell the asset, and why would we ever wish to do that?  Of course, given our status, we would need Lord Sarum's permission regardless.  I do not think we shall have cause ever to seek it.

Of course, this also brings traditional Obligations.  Aside from the physical needs of our new workers, we must tend to their spiritual needs.  We shall do exactly that.  Indeed, I believe Father Mikhail is already arranging for acolytes to come and ensure The True Faith is spread amongst them.  How strange! It occurs to me only now that Father Mikhail was not at dinner to here this announcement.  Perhaps Papa had already spoken to him.

I must say that Ishta appeared to take the news quite well.  Papa, Bless him, knew that she may find these events a little difficult to deal with, given her background, and gave her the choice of whether to stay or not.  She chose to, which I feel was the correct thing to do, and she was no doubt bolstered by being so close to Sasha.  I had expected her to at least give some sort of minor protest, but no!  I think she must accept how things are in the Empire, and it has never been made secret that we have always held these Rights, even if we have never, until now, had full reason to invoke them.

Mama and Papa also spoke of wanting to give a more active and involved role in the decisions of the family to myself.  I should hope that the two of them shall be with us for a very long time yet, but I cannot escape the fact that one day, as the eldest child, I shall be Head of the Household.  I feel nervous, but ready for this responsibility.  I know I have the greatest teachers in Creation, and the full support of the whole family.  I shall do all I can to live up to the name deSilvestris.

I cannot wait to tell Lilya, of course.  I am sure she shall be ever so excited and pleased.

I hear Kolya going to the gardens.  I think I shall join him and spend as much time as I can with my brother.
04-03-YC122

I met with Nauplius last night in CafĂ© Marlinea.  Fortunately there were no prying eyes or gossiping tongues, not that I would have cared.  My business is mine, and mine alone.  I must say that despite his unsavoury reputation, Nauplius is not uncultured.  He behaved in more gentlemanly a manner than many I have met in higher social positions than he.  That bodes well.

I was surprised to discover that he holds fealty to none.  Something of a shadow hangs over him regarding decisions yet to be made on his guilt of heresy, and perhaps his status, or lack thereof, shall change, or be afforded opportunity to, once some form of resolution is reached.  I shall watch that development with interest.

Of course, the main topic of our conversation was the matter of his so-called cursing by the Directrix's lapdog, Aria.  Unfortunately, there is little he could tell me about the nature of this apparent hex, and it appears as though Aria herself remembers little even doing it, or is loath to share the information with her alleged victim.  That would not surprise me, for she has always struck me as being far more than she seems.  Regardless, even though I put very little stock in such heathen superstitious nonsense as curses, Nauplius certainly seems to believe in its truth, and he was most eager to have me help him.  That, of course, I intend to do.  I have already spoken to Father Mikhail about this, and we agree that a Rite of Exorcism, whilst practically meaningless, would more than likely go some way to assuage Nauplius' concerns, and of course an actual Blessing of Faith would by no means do him any harm either.

In return, I have made it quite clear to Nauplius that if he desires my help, now and in the future, I expect him to abide not only by the True Faith, but also act with unquestioning Loyalty to God and Empress.  Whilst I do not think it time quite yet, I also feel that it would do well to have him publicly declare his change of ways.  Undoubtedly there shall be those who will never accept that such a thing could ever be, but let them doubt.  What matters is that another of God's Lost Children is brought back into the Fold.

And so much the better if that Child owes my family a favour or two.
03-03-YC122

God and the Eternal Empress be Praised!  Victory in Floseswin is ours!  My part in it was but small, and there is always more I know I could have done, yet I am so immensely Honoured to have served.  I am proud too, of myself, arrogant though that sounds.  I overcame much anxiety and self-doubt, and I feel confident that in the future, the very near future, I shall be able to give so much more of myself.

I am also proud of my family and all it gave for the war-effort.  Mama contacted me as soon as she heard the news, and told me that both Papa and Kolya have been summoned to Sarum Prime, though we know not why.  Perhaps it is more hubris, but I hope that it is for some little recognition for our services to our Liege Lord Sarum, but we shall see.

Aldrith has released a missive, offering his advice that rather than consolidate our position in the system, we should take the opportunity whilst the Tribals recover and lick their wounds, to remove all our forces from the area.  I am not entirely sure how I feel about such a prospect.  Perhaps it is wise, perhaps not, though were I of a position to do so, I would advocate at least leaving some clandestine forces behind.  It would be the ideal opportunity for an extension of Operation Afterlight.  Perhaps Papa will suggest it to the Military Commanders if he has the opportunity.

Certainly one cannot fault the bravery of Tribals, even if they are our enemy.  Many of them have shown far greater dedication to their own cause than so-called Loyalist to our Empire.  Surely our Motherland must weep at those who have raised such cowardly doubts about our Divine Cause, and who refused to serve God and Her Imperial Majesty as is their duty.  I can only be thankful that this campaign has ended in Victory and Vindication for those truly of the Faith.  We must be ever watchful for the enemy within, and the events of the past few months have brought many of them to light.  I hope the Ministry of Internal Order shall deal with them quickly.

Praise be to God!  Praise be to the Eternal Empress!  I shall spend this night in thankful Vigil and prayer to the Honoured Fallen.

Amarr Victor!