11-11-YC128

       I cannot quite decide if Ishta is the proverbial bad ISK or some other curse placed upon my family.  Had I known that sending Tanya to the care of Praefecta Daphiti, who then gave Ishta, of all people, charge of her, I would have kept her here and simply punished her directly for attacking her sister.  That would, at least, have avoided today's spectacle with Sasha.

    Poor Sasha.  I cannot blame him for being emotional after receiving a letter from his former betrothed and mother of his child.  A letter he could never have expected to be sent.  A letter none of us expected to ever be sent.

    I have not seen this letter, I think I would rather not, but Sasha told me most of the contents.  Whilst Ishta herself apparently holds no memory of her relationship with my brother, or of her time here, so close to my family, it would seem that others have shared their memories of it, or at any rate, told her that it indeed happened.  Oh, that people would think before speaking and keep their mouths shut.  That she has no recall whatsoever of her love for Sasha, and his for her, must be difficult enough, but to know that she does not even remember that they had a child! I could see the pain in my poor little brother's face, but his idea that Ishta should be told of the existence of their daughter is completely out of the question!

    What would even be the point?  There can be no maternal instinct there, not now.  My understanding is that her accident caused memory loss far beyond the point at which she conceived; further, even, than her relationship with Sasha, which began long before then.  I can only assume from her lack of even asking if it is true that no-one who has attempted to fill in the other gaps in her brain has spoken of this, although I am not sure if anyone outside of our family even knew.

    And what would it mean to little Tanechka?  Nothing.  She was not even born from her incubator when Ishta's accident occurred, so she can have no possible knowledge of her natural mother.  Besides, she is clearly looking upon Ramina as her mother now, and even if she could comprehend this situation, it would merely cause confusion and upset, and I shall not allow that to happen.

    Ishta intends to visit with Tanya, and I cannot prevent that.  Or rather, I could, quite easily.  I could simply forbid it, but I do miss Tanya, and I know the other children do too, especially her sister, and it would be unfair on Tanya herself.  I know it would be well within my prerogative, also, to allow Tanya, but not Ishta, but I suspect that will raise too many questions, for I have no obvious reason to do such a thing.

    Perhaps I should send Sasha away, have him assist Felix in one of our facilities - which reminds me, I must get those reports on the Vodyanoy compound, it should be ready by now.  I shall think of something.  Having those two meet would be an unnecessary complication, particularly for Sasha, and could cause frictions with Ramina I would rather see avoided.  I doubt Ishta would have much of a reaction, but only God can know.  She fell in love with Sasha once, why would it be so unlikely that she could do so again?

    With all that, I must admit I am somewhat curious myself about just how much she remembers.  She knows, or knew, things about my family that could be rather damaging to us, politically.  I think perhaps it is wise to allow her to visit with Tanya, and for them to be greeted and escorted by myself.  That way I can try to draw out the truth about just how much of her memory is missing, or not, as the case may be.

    Oh, Ishta, you always were trouble.

 02-11-YC128

LUMEN held its Harvest Festival yesterday and I must say I very much enjoyed it.  Arline makes an excellent Hungry Harvester.  Indeed, I am quite sure she rather relished the role.  As we do here in Nakri, I offered a warm shawl and bread, along with the bottle of family vodka snuck into the box, as symbolic gifts, as well as the more practical gesture of petitions that may be given to those in need to bring to the estate.  It is the first time, of course, that we have ever engaged in this observance outside of Nakri, so I do hope that if LUMEN distribute them elsewhere that the people are not too reluctant to come forward.  I doubt we are known outside of our home system, but I am sure LUMEN will be practical in their decisions.

The event was rather more quiet than I expect, in that there were fewer people there than I anticipated, but the real delight of the night was seeing Tatiana and Ishta.  How strange it is that Ishta's ward shares the same name as her own daughter.  God indeed works in mysterious ways.  Ishta looked well, and Tania, although rather shy, appears to be benefitting from the guidance she is under.  She has been through so much at such a young age it is hardly a wonder that she was so troubled.  However, with the right education and encouragement, she will do well.  I must ask for a more detailed update of how she has been faring.

Her sister and the others miss her, as do we all, really.  I hope she does not resent being placed in the Praefecta's care or that she doubts she can come home should she wish.  I do not think that should be before she is truly ready, but we shall certainly welcome her back when the time comes.  Her letters will have to suffice for now.

I have my own role to play, of course, and I must find some way to have that ridiculous heresy marker lifted.  Honestly, what nonsense! A child simply cannot commit heresy.  Led to it, unknowingly, by corrupted adult, yes, but deliberately engage it themselves? Impossible.  Even the most untutored acolyte could understand that the poor girl has been used as a scapegoat, nothing more.  I must surely be able to find a more decent, honest, and sensible Magistrate somewhere than that dim-witted dullard in Nasreri. I hope so, at least.  The less I am forced to deal with that place, the better.  I suppose there could be other means to have it removed, but we shall explore the conventional before we ponder anything too alternative.

A shame Edward was not at the Festival yesterday.  I was rather hoping to introduce him to the sour milk.

 

09-10-YC128

    A busy yet most satisfying week.  Aside from some productive discussions with Felix on some production changes on our Belaya Planeta facilities, and Kolya being home again, which is always a delight, and some promising signs on rekindling Sasha and Ramina - Tanechka really does need a proper mother-figure - the icon I wrote even won the Jubilee competition.

    The judges were very kind and had one or two interpretations that I honestly had not seen myself, although I recall now Father Mikhail saying those very same things as he was guiding me.  Of course, I should not give in to pride, but I am rather pleased they not only found it pleasurable to look it but also read it as an icon is supposed to be read, seeing the message within.  Father Mikhail seems rather impressed too - or at least he nodded with what I believe was approval - and he has said that he will place it in the family chapel.  He even suggested I carry it in the next Holy Day procession!  I am sure it will not even be noticeable amongst all the other icons written by the monks and nuns here, whose work is beyond comparison, but it is still a very great honour.

    With celebrations done, the focus now really ought to be work.  There is much to do.  Felix has identified some inefficiencies in our planet-side facilities, but I think that his ideas will address those issues.  There are also some expansions to the School's curriculum that we would like to implement.  We have had some very positive responses, and Lord Osowiec has been most supportive.

    I also really must find the time to get back in the capsule, as they say.  I cannot believe it has been so long, distracted as I have been with a great many other duties, but as I consider it, I realise I do rather miss the freedom of the stars.

    Besides, once again those vile heretics raise their cowardly heads in their so-called Crimson Harvest, and what faithful servant of the Empress would I be if I did not at least play some small part in the stand against them?

    That, and I rather enjoy blowing their ships apart!

 

27-09-YC128

Ten years of Her Imperial Majesty!  May God grant Her many more.

I attended the Jubilee last night, or the reception at least.  Unfortunately, duties kept me away from the parade.  I hear it was most spectacular.

The reception was a remarkably quiet affair, but I presume such an important occasion was kept to a very select few.  Arline gave a presentation in honour of Her Majesty.  I think her tribute to the Imperial Navy caused quite a stir, but I appreciated it, and I think Papa would have too.  Of course, Arline being Arline she was delivering a message.  A not particularly subtle message, but a powerful one.  The images of the ultimate sacrifice made by many who are not blessed with repeating immortality hit home, I believe, at least I thought so from the looks on some people's faces.  Perhaps it was the sudden juxtaposition with the happy tune that followed those images so immediately.  Utari spent the next ten minutes looking absolute daggers at Arline.  Perhaps the reminder that death actually means something to some people spoilt the taste of his wine.

Is that not what happens, though?  The high and mighty give their tiny, empty eulogies to the dead, then in the blink of an eye they are off to tea and dances, the whole messy, unpleasant business forgotten about.  It is not just Holders, though I have seen that with my own eyes.  I think most Capsuleers are like that.  Immortality seems to mean not caring about mortals anymore.  Even the dehumanising name they use shows how much less they think of ordinary people.  Baseliners!  How I detest that word.

I think the so-called Lord Gallius rather proved Arline's point with his crass behaviour, swinging his wife around like that.  How gauche.  I have seen more elegance and grace in a barrack-room sing-along.

The night was not marred by such behaviour, however.  I made the acquaintance of the most charming and interesting Brigadier-General Malitia, from the State.  We had a most enjoyable conversation about art and family.  I rather hope to meet her again, I am sure we should have the most interesting interactions.  Rather amusingly, it seems she has a somewhat antagonistic relationship with Edward.  Understandable, given the background.  She was very clear on considering him a traitor to the State, which he is, of course, regardless of his reasons.  I cannot imagine the Brigadier-General has much sympathy for those, of course.

Apparently Edward was there last night, although I did not see him.  I can only assume he did not see me, either.  I find it hard to believe he would pass up the opportunity to attempt to irritate me.

Arline did not stay long after her presentation.  I think I can guess as to the reason why.  I saw she had a brief conversation with Utari, though they appeared to part on amicable terms - or at least, they did not come to blows.  Then again, I trust they both at least know how to behave as the Paladins they are.  The Directrix did not stay long either, which was rather a shame as I have not spoken to her for some time and would like to have done so.  There will be other opportunities, I am sure.  Aria remained for a while, talking with the Brigadier-General and I.  She seemed to understand the message within Arline's presentation, but that is no surprise.  She is sharp-witted and astute, is that one.  Very little escapes her.  I rather like her for that, I must admit.

So many things have kept me away from those circles for so long, but I really should try to return.  I know everything I do in Nakri does benefit the Empire in some way, but I cannot help but feel I ought to be a little more directly active.  It is all a balance, I suppose.  The duties of my social station, of a Paladin, family life.  So much to attend to.  At least I shall never run of out time, unlike so many others.

Family life calls again!  If I am not mistaken, that is little Taniushka coming this way with her father.  I wonder what delightful adventures she is enjoying today.

 

 09-06-YC127

    If there is one thing anyone can say about Edward Adams, it is that he has a consistent and unfailing ability to allow his sarcastic sense of humour to get the better of him and squander any good graces into which he has managed to charm himself.   Maria was quite right to throw the drink at him.  What in the name of the Saints possessed him to tease her about him joining LUMEN?  Moreover, why he thought he could outright say to Maria that I was his consort and get away with it, I shall never fathom.  Had the Lamp not been so busy I would have done far more than soak him.  I almost did.

I am still angry at him now.  I know it is just his childish sense of humour, that of a teenage boy barely old enough to control his thoughts, let alone his mouth, but it rather spoilt the evening.  It is not seemly that he joke about such matters.  It is bad enough that he still insists on addressing me as Katya in public.  Even Ishta wrapped her head around that one! Thank Goodness Aspirants Al-Qadir and Aurilen did not hear any of it.  One knows how the lower ranks like to gossip.

I was not feeling particularly happy as it was.  I feel I rather upset dear, sweet Nicolette by talking of Celeste and Lady Renaud in front of her.  True, I had no idea that they were no longer on speaking terms - for whatever reason, Nicolette never did say - but had I known, I would have no brought up the matter.  I did wish to gauge Edward's opinion on my idea about getting someone into the Renaud household, though.  Since discovering that the MIO document on Celeste considers all the information of her activities to be reliable, we should really make efforts to uncover what it is she has been involved in.  Unfortunately, I am not very sure how we may do that, but the tried and true method of getting an insider into the household of interest has never failed our family yet in all the centuries we have been doing it.   Not just our family, of course.  Why, it is practically an aristocratic tradition!

It should be easy enough to do.  The gift of a domestic on the occasion of a wedding is hardly unprecedented, and although I do not believe Lady Renaud would accept a slave - although I do not entirely recall if she follows this bizarre emancipation trend - she would surely not refuse the offer of a servant.  There has been an influx of people of all walks since Arline's evacuation of the last survivors from Raravoss, many of whom are looking for gainful employment.  Who would be surprised at their being a handmaid of notable skill amongst their numbers, one more than suited for a place with a household of such standing as Renaud?

I know just the girl to pick as well.  Someone I can trust entirely and whom I know has exactly the skillset to make the charade believable.  Of course, before I make any plans, I need to find out if it is even viable.  

Edward may still be useful for something.

 26-02-YC126

God feedeth the ravens indeed!  What seems like the smallest morsel to one can be the grandest feast to another. Yet feasts can have a way of leaving one hungry for even more.  I had no idea of the extent to which Ishta's incident had actually affected her, but a chance conversation with the Directrix has given me much food for thought.

Apparently Ishta has lost the majority of her memories of the last five years!  No wonder her words of "caring" for Sasha struck me as such an understatement.  She recalls nothing of their relationship, or so it seems.  Poor Sasha, he, of course, remembers everything, but I have no yet thought of how I can possibly make this news any less than devastating for him.  Perhaps, in light of Ishta's background and the realities of our family's position it is for the best, but nonetheless it shall not be an easy thing for my brother to hear that his former fiancée remembers so little of him.

Or of their daughter. That is yet another dilemma, and for now a secret best kept to our family.

The Directrix also mention something I had not even imagined as a possibility.  Ishta has been given a treatment, a form of benign virus as the Directrix described it, that over-rides the triggers of her training from her former life, the training that would automatically activate her heightened reflexes and make her the lethal killing machine I have seen her to be.  I do not know if she is still able to consciously engage this training in some way, and I doubt she has been neutralised altogether.  I also do not know if the one treatment she has had is the only one she shall ever need or if she will need periodic boosters, but what I do know is that I need to find out more.  Apparently the Abbess was involved in this, so I think she would be the person to make gentle enquiries to.  All for the sake of Sasha, of course. I am sure he would want to know as much as possible about Ishta's situation, although it would do no harm to our family's interests for myself and Felix to have some information of a more technical nature on this treatment.  If I could somehow get hold of a sample, that would be ideal.  Just think of the implications!

Aside from unexpected matters of Ishta, there is also to be a meeting with Edward about the restoration project.  He has dreamed up some complaint or other, no doubt imagining LUMEN to be engaged in all sorts of nefarious activities.  He has no idea!  If the Directrix but gave us the opportunity and the permission, then I promise that my family and the assets of the 601st would be undertaking more information and intelligence gathering than Edward could conjure up in his wildest paranoia.  Simply reading through the background information on the project given to me by the Praefecta, I could see any number of potential targets.  Perhaps I ought to suggest it.

I can hear little Tata and her father coming to my room.  What a delightful little giggle she has.

 11-11-YC125

A busy week.  Fortunately it began with a highlight, or rather last week ended with one.  The Saint Razhden's Day Masquerade was a delight again this year; another triumph for the Directrix.  The costumes and stories were even more imaginative than before!  There were giant puppets, imitation blood, sword fights that looked alarmingly real, stories from the thrilling to the moving.  I particularly enjoy the two quite spiritual stories myself.  There was even a dashing Captain of a sailing ship - or dashing until revealed as Edward.

I would have considered myself honoured to have received but one vote for my efforts, but to win first place for both costume and tale!  I would never have thought that my continued tale from last year, about the past of my family and people, would have piqued much interest.  Of course, I have Olga and Katya to thank, who played their parts wonderfully. So much so, in fact, that it would be terribly unjust of me not to share the prize money with them, although I am rather concerned that amount of ISK - indeed any amount of ISK - may be something of a shock to them.  It is a delicate matter on which I shall have to converse carefully with them.

The other interesting occurrence of this week again involved Edward, this time a meeting between he, myself, and Director Isimazu.  It was somewhat frustrating, given how it would seem Caldari are utterly incapable of speaking in anything but riddles, but eventually the truth came out.  It seems Edward, in a rather bizarre and convoluted way, requested Director Isimazi as a second liaison alongside myself.  I am not entirely sure of Edward's motives for this, but I shall get the to bottom of that soon enough.  As it is, aside from the unnecessarily complicated manner of this coming about, I am more than happy to have the benefit of the Director's knowledge and insight, and I am quite positive we shall work well together.

I think, however, there is more than one secret Edward is keeping from me.  As he made to leave he quite doubled over in pain, indeed almost fainted!  For a moment I was worried someone had poisoned the tea, but it appears he has sustained some sort of injury, though he would not elaborate on how, merely dismissing it in that cavalier way he does.  I had an escort of our House Guard make sure he returned to his ship without further mishap.

Interestingly, as I was looking through the various news articles, I came across an incident covered by a Federation outlet, the Villore Vignette, regarding a gunfight at some establishment.  The Federation is, it seems, having some troubles with an insurgent group, and my sources inform me that Edward has had some involvement in security measures against them.  I wonder if this is how he came by his injury? It would be most typical of Edward to be involved in some sort of fracas of that nature.

I suspect Edward would not be entirely pleased were I to do a little investigating of my own.  So I suppose it best if he does not find out.