12-14-YC123

I dreamt of Constantin last night.  I find myself missing him, the touch of his hand, the grace of his dancing, the press of his lips against mine.  The feel of his power and warmth deep inside.

I know why, of course.  The children.  Seeing the children has made me yearn for my own, and especially visiting the Little One.  Such a delicate, beautiful tiny creature, growing in her artificial womb, oblivious to the violence and terror that brought about her early entry into this life.  How can we not be grateful to God that we have such medical technology that she now survives and thrives?  In the days of my ancestors, both she and Ishta would have been doomed.

Alas, I know that children of my own are not my destiny, yet I am content knowing that I play my part to make New Eden a better place for them all.  I cannot believe that any child anywhere in the universe is unworthy of God's Love and Mercy, yet it must cause both Him and Our Eternal Empress such sorrow to know that so many shall grow up to adults never knowing the Light of True Faith.  That is the reason for the Reclaiming in its many forms. Not for territory nor glory, and most certainly not for power, but so that no child must suffer in ignorance of God's Compassion.

We shall bring it to them all.

Another step forward in Operation Sanctity, and the scope has been widened to accommodate Arline's request for assistance.  Forgive me, Little One, but I must send your father to dangerous places in order that your future be made safe.  If it is at all in my power to do so, I shall do all I can to keep you and all other children from seeing the things I have now seen.  I may have my own inner wickedness, that Unclean Force that clouds my mind and my judgements at times, but I am still of The Faith, still one of God's Children, and I know that my own failings are but little compared to the evil of the enemy we face.

That is not for you to fret over, Little One.  Sleep and dream of love and wonders until it is time for you to wake to your family.

 12-12-YC123

It has been a most active couple of days.  Primarily, Operation Sanctity is now under way.  I shall not even write of it here, lest I tempt misfortune, but suffice to say the first stage seemed simple enough.  There is so much more to come, of course.  All for the future.

There were also some LUMEN-wide operations to support the Emperor Family.  A show of loyalty, true enough, but also an opportunity to build rapport amongst LUMEN members who may otherwise have little opportunity to mix.  I myself took part in Arline's fleet, along with Arrek and Utari, and Scyla Dawn and others from other LUMEN wings.  A positive exercise, most certainly. 

Yet the most enjoyable part of the day was by far Lunarisse's Saint Nicolas celebration.  I cannot even begin to describe what an absolute joy it is to see the children do all they can to convince Saint Nicolas - Utari giving a convincing turn as courtroom judge -  they have been good all year, and the way their faces light up when they receive their presents simply makes my heart lift.  I am quite, quite jealous of their parents.  I hope Ishta shall allow me to take her little one when she is old enough.

The Directrix gave me such a great honour in allowing me to hand out the presents.  Dressing as Snow Maiden brought great luck, even it is a particularly Nakriian tradition that is not so well known elsewhere in the Empire.  Lunarisse also agreed to my request to bring the celebration to Nakri, particularly for the orphan and refugee children we have there.  I pray that soon they shall be able to return to their homes, by the Grace of God.  We shall defeat the Triglavian invaders and drive them back to the abyss from whence they came.  There can be no other way.

Until then, there is so much more to do.

 29-11-YC123

I was not going to attend the Saint Razhden's Masquerade.  Not because Lunarisse does not host the most wonderful events in New Eden - I have no doubt that even the most popular event-planners and influencers in the Federation must be intolerably jealous of her.  However, a little voice over my shoulder persuaded me to go, and I am so pleased that it did, it was just an enjoyable evening.

Everyone wore such wonderful costumes that it really was like being transported back those many thousands of years to the days before we, or indeed anyone, took to the stars.  There were merchants and warriors, slavers and sailors.  The stories that people told were so imaginative too!  I particularly liked Utari's', which I found very moving and thought-provoking.  Of course, he and Lasairiona won the prize for couple's costume, but then as they have always been, are, and shall always be the absolutely most gorgeous couple, it cannot be unexpected.  Not so say that Lunarisse and Franco could not offer them a close challenge, with Lunarisse so radiant in her pregnancy, but, as usual, the ever modest Directrix disqualifies herself from any competition at an event she herself hosts.

Lilya's costume and story were both so enchanting, based around her home of Nafrivik.  The colours of her clothes really brought out her eyes, and I could not but help remember my feelings toward her.  When she came to speak to me, I honestly thought I would not be able to reply for my emotions.  I do hope she did not think me cold toward her.  Oh, Lilya, I am sorry.  Will you ever forgive me?

A Lady Munory also attended, though I do not know her.  Her costume included a retinue of actual slaves - her own - and her story was focused on slavery also.  There was something about her I did not entirely trust, though I cannot exactly say why.  Perhaps it was her rather probing questions regarding Aldrith and his recent insanity.  I must admit I was somewhat irritated by her statement of equating that fool with we Praetorians, and made sure she now has no mistake in her mind that we are represented by any one, self-interested egotist.  We are one made of many.

Arline was also there, and looked magnificently ferocious as a Khanid warrior of old.  She even had skulls on her belt!  I do hope they were imitation, but knowing Arline, I cannot be certain.  Alas, I did not get to speak to her for she disappeared somewhere during my own story-telling, I think.  I hope she is not unwell, for I know she has been troubled lately.

So, yes, my own story.  I honestly had no idea what to dress as, but inspiration hit me and the story flowed from that.  So long ago, my family was not even noble, nor did we even hold the family name we do now, but still we were scouts and explorers of sorts.  So I dressed as the horse archers of that day would have.  A very plain and simple outfit, as one would need when speed and movement are of such importance, I really did not think anyone would notice, not with the wonderful clothing on display by so many others.  Yet that is how my ancestors dressed, and I hope they looked on me with a degree of pride, for I am proud of them, and never more so as I shared the story of the Athran wild-cat.  It was a deeply special moment, and again it just rather came upon me.  Not even Ishta has heard that story, though of course we all know it, as does anyone in Nakri who descends from that same stock - which is most of us - but we rarely speak of such things with others.  I am glad I shared it.

And apparently both my clothes and my tale were impressive enough that so many people voted for me at the end of the competition that I jointly won.  I still cannot quite believe it now.  People are so kind for what was really such a humble effort.

I stopped at the Chapel of Saint Junip on Oris on the way home.  Perhaps it was a twist of fate that I wore the clothes of my forebears and told their story, for I am bound, like them, to scout ahead into dangerous territory for the army to follow behind soon.  Like them, I go knowing the dangers, but also knowing that there is no question about my having to return.  Knowledge of the land, the seas, the stars ahead, and what may face us, is far more valuable than the life of one person, and so it must be brought back.  

I pray as my ancestors did, for speed, stealth, and good fortune.  And for warm food when I get back.

 22-11-YC123

Doctor Etinger tells me I have a mental health condition that is the cause of my unstable moods and propensity to emotional reactions.  Yet he assures me I am still quite sane and have a strong grip on reality, at least for the most part.  I can only assume, therefore, that I am neither suffering delirium nor some form of dissociative episode and the news that has come to me is quite true.

It is, in fact, Aldrith who has so clearly gone insane.

The sheer blind arrogance of that talentless word-hack.  He should have stuck to his angst-ridden, empty-headed doggerel rather than dare to assume himself worthy of joining the ranks of our pure-blooded nobility! And his walking incubator of a wife is barely much better.  An entire status based upon a few lucky shots.  She stains the memory of Empress Jamyl by supporting this idiocy, not to mention the sacrifice of poor, sweet Alizabeth.

Idiocy?  It is far worse than that - it is treason and betrayal of the worse kind.  To side openly with the Triglavian invaders!  If he were capable of feeling shame he would die from it, and it would do him well to do so, before a worse fate comes.  To insult the losses, the deaths, of countless Imperial subjects like that, and all for what?  A personal vendetta against Elkin?  I have no love for her, but her actions pale in comparison to this!  This madness makes even Nauplius look sane - at least he actually acknowledges who the enemy are.

How dare he, that waste of flesh, try to dictate what is and is not treason!  Does he presume himself higher than even Empress Catiz now?  I pray Lord Sarum sees sense and casts the Newelles out before they do irreparable damage to His Lordship's reputation.  What if people begin to think that those jumped-up petty bourgeois represent all of Lord Sarum's vassals?  What then?  They most certain do not!  My family has ever been loyal to the Sarum Family, has never seen conflict between that loyalty and the Throne.  This is what happens when peasants are elevated to the status of nobles, a status they simply do not have the breeding for.  There is only one meaning of breeding they seem to understand.  She seems to do nothing but.

Oh, but their poor children!  What does the future hold for them now?  Damned through the insanity of their parents.  If Arline is still their guardian, she could do no harm by spiriting them all away to a safer place, a family of proven and unwavering loyalty to the Empire.  I would honestly take them myself, and were Lord Sarum to order it so, I would not hesitate.  I have a mind to petition His Lordship, though I cannot imagine he even knows who we are.  We do not preen and bray in order to be noticed by our betters, quiet and content service is our way.

After all that bitter, cynical, paranoid talk of betrayal by others, he now does this.  Yet now I think of it, it was always how people had betrayed him, not the Empire, not the Empress.  Always him.  The warning signs were there then, the conceit, the arrogance.  Say what one may about Elkin, and about the other one - I forget her name - but at least they acted in accordance with a personal, identifiable principle, however mistaken, rather than a selfish vendetta placed higher than loyalty and duty, even to God.

Just another enemy to be crushed, another foe of God and Empire to be vanquished and then forgotten like so much dust in the cosmos.

 19-11-YC123

It seems we have a new enemy, and a dangerous one, though not entirely unexpected.  A ghost from Ishta's past, a blood-thirsty animal who shall stop at nothing until he either kills her or drags her back to his lair of heresy and depravity.

Yet this twisted, malignant fool, this Cavalkaitis or however he styles himself, has, as so many have before, gravely underestimated this family.  In his attack on Ishta and her unborn child he has wounded us all, and we do neither forgive nor forget such things.

Ishta is recovering in the Naval Hospital, under guard, but she will be transferred soon to a clinic on the Sarum station.  She was shot in the abdomen, and her body cannot support her child.  However, both still live, and we can make use of the best in vitro techniques available.  Meanwhile, I have already recalled Omega Team.  Operation Snegovschina on Floseswin must now run itself, and there is little more help can be given to the partisans there.  They are armed, have their orders, and I am confident they can cause enough chaos to undermine support for the Matari forces.  We shall soon be doing something similar elsewhere.

I was going to prepare Omega for something else, but that can wait for now.  I must personally undertake some reconnaissance work before that begins anyway, so instead they can start tracking down this animal Blooder.  Alpha Team can assist, and it would be better for Sasha to have a distraction.  A meeting with Security Chief Sokolov and the local media would also be of benefit.  If this man thinks he can hide anywhere in Nakri, he is sorely mistaken - we are a vigilant people for those who do not belong.

We will find him, and he will suffer.

 14-11-YC123

So now Mitara has left us, following her self-absorbed husband.  I should not say I am surprised, but I am not convinced of whatever reasons they may have.  It appears to me that they place their loyalties to Lord Sarum higher than Her Imperial Majesty, and that does not bode well. It is a foolish arrogance, I feel, but the Chapter Master is quite correct.  It is unthinkable that Lord Sarum would demand such a thing, and if anything it potentially damages His Lordship.  It also raises the unsettling suspicions that this may be a wider trend amongst Sarum vassal, but I have assured the Chapter Master that this is most certainly not a clouding of judgement that my family suffers from.  I shall be with the Praetorians, serving God and Her Imperial Majesty until I die.

Speaking of service, the Chapter Master has given me a most important task, for which I shall have to prepare thoroughly.  Our campaign against the Triglavian invaders continues apace, and we have taken the fight, alongside our allies both traditional and those born of convenience, even into the occupied territories.  I am resolve to make every effort in my power to bring back Raravoss and the other Imperial system, but for that to happen we need solid intelligence on enemy numbers and positions.

Plans to prepare the 601st for operations there are already underway, and I myself shall be undertaking some solo reconnaissance very soon.  It may mean I am gone for some time, but I am not only honoured to be asked to do my part, to have my skills put to use, but I am also, I admit, terribly excited to have this opportunity.  It has been a very long time since I did the things I was trained for, that I always longed to do, but it is not just the feeling one has when out there deep in enemy territory, preparing the way for the strikes and battles to come, it is the feeling of returning home again that brings such thrill.

And shall I not have such wonderful things to return to!  Ishta and Sasha shall be married soon, and I would never miss that, but even more joyfully, Ishta shall soon be starting to show, and we shall have all the happiness and wonder that the expectation of a new family member brings.

Truly are we Blessed.

 29-10-YC123

Ill-omened times are upon us again with those blood-stained heretics crawling from their holes to murder and pillage.  Yet there is no fear here, for we are unshakeable in our faith and trust in the protection of God, The Eternal Empress, and the stalwart defenders of the Empire.

Not only that, but in this household we have the excitement and joy that can only be brought about by new life!  All the Saints be praised! Ishta is with child!

Of course, this is not wide news, yet, for she and Sasha are still unmarried, but that minor matter shall be rectified soon enough, and given how plain the love they have for one another is to see, I cannot imagine anyone being in the least bit surprised at them being united so soon.  One of the advantages of being the youngest child, I suppose, is that one does not have to suffer a lengthy courtship for the sake of protocol.

Undoubtedly I feel a small pang of jealousy, for what I would not give for children of my own, but such foolishness is so easily set aside when I imagine the opportunities I shall be afford as an aunt to spoil the little one.  Not that I am making any such purchases or preparations at the moment, for to do any such thing would be the most awful bad luck.  I do hope Ishta is being instructed in the rites and beliefs we have in Nakri surrounding these matters.  I rather think one of two of them will seem quite peculiar to her.

We spoke of Maksym and Ruslan's sentences.  Ishta feels that Ruslan's being sent to a shtrafbat to be rather unjust, and perhaps she is right.  She hinted at wanting to rescue him, though I am not entirely sure how might be achieved.  I suppose I could make enquires, and Papa must have more than enough influence to have him transferred.  It would not be the first time given that more than one member of the 601st came from such a background.  I shall ask him about it.

Maksym, however, I think can stay right where he is.  Whilst Ruslan could perhaps be persuaded to relinquish any claim on his family seat, Maksym most certainly would not, and we shall have enough trouble removing Danylo.  Their father may be less stubborn when it comes to letting go of the title.  After all, these recent tribulations have surely done very little good for his weak heart.

Once there is an opening left where the Kovals once were, I intend to see it agreeably filled.

 14-10-YC123

Speaking with the Directrix, who has the most radiant glow about her and is absolutely blooming into her pregnancy, has reinvigorated me somewhat after the last few weeks of inward contemplation.  She was looking for my assistance in some dealing with a Holder in Mehatoor, a Lady de Vil.  It would appear this Lady has little regard for the environment around her own demesne and rather than healthy, vibrant wetlands, it is a disposal ground for the most toxic of waste.  Of course, all the protective feelings that the Directrix has toward nature are of little use when faced with the arrogant attitude of a Holder against a Commoner, even if that Commoner may have more honour and moral strength than many of her so-called betters.

Hence, the Directrix comes to me.  I may very well be able to help, but I believe we may need a multi-faceted plan of attack.  This Lady de Vil seems to have forgotten that no Holder, in reality, owns their land.  We merely keep it on behalf of Her Imperial Majesty, and to abuse that land is to insult the property of The Empress.  The problem here, of course, is that one must consider why nothing has thus far been done to address it.  It may be that the Imperial Authorities and perhaps de Vil's own Liege know nothing of the matter, or something rather more immoral and corrupt may be at play.  If the latter, I very much doubt de Vil will take a stranger into her confidence, so we must gather our information through more subtle means.

Conveniently, the planet is Oceanic, and so has access to resources that are not so easily obtained here.  What could be more everyday and ordinary than one noble approaching another noble to discuss the possibility of negotiating a trade agreement, and if I am there, then of course I am bound to have a personal contingent.

It will be a good opportunity, I feel, to give Ishta her first real experience of commanding a clandestine operation.  She has a vast range of combat experience, but if she truly wishes to make Vorona a Special Operations force, she needs to widen her knowledge.  I shall give her Alpha Team and full control of the planning and execution.

Well, perhaps not full control.

Alpha team should easily be able to uncover anything untoward that is taking place.  In the meantime, the Directrix is to organise an environmental analysis of the affected area.  This is I feel is something the Directrix can more easily undertake, but will aid our objective just as much.  Should it be found that the toxins in the area be in any way inconsistent with de Vil's claimed industrial concerns, we shall know we are looking at something potentially much more serious than neglectful and inadequate environmental safety practices.

I may also have a task for Omega team.  I had thought Nauplius was beyond usefulness since he had the foolish audacity to turn on my family, but it seems I was mistaken.  After his failure to corrupt the good people of Nakri, he scurried off with his particularly bizarre brand of treason and heresy to the Federation, where he seems to have made himself quite the home.  I am informed that he is causing quite a stir and tensions between his deluded followers and the citizens of Lamadent, Thelan, and Lirsautton are increasing day by day.  It is a delicate situation by all accounts, and one that could easily explode into violence and bloodshed at any moment.   Such a tragic event would, of course, seriously damage Nauplius' already unstable edifice, as well as cause disruption for the Federation.  All it needs is a little something to set off this volatile mix.

I can have Omega team inserted into the area by this time tomorrow.

On the subject of volatile situations given a little shake, I should really assess the status of Operation Snegovschina on Floseswin.  I trust my partisans are doing what they have been paid to do.  Then I shall give Ishta the good news.

 22-09-YC123

How I wish I could overcome my innate sickness when it comes to reawakening in a new clone.  Alas, some people simply do not take to it.  My own foolish mistake in all honesty.  I should never have been so complacent!  Why would I ever think that the Raravath gate might not be the site of an ambush?  Well, it was, and I, and my ship, fell afoul of it.  Will we ever be free of these infidel pirates?

However, as frustrating as all that is, I cannot let a minor setback, if it can be called even that, dampen my mood for the recent positive events that have, through the Grace of God, come to pass.

 Firstly, Ishta returned from her mission into the Koval's home, and with more success than I ever could have hoped for.  Uncovering murder!  Such horrific tragedy for those young women, but this is something that cannot be ignored.  That the son of a noble would do such things!  Lord Osowiec has been informed and has already conducted an investigation.  We shall see what the outcome is soon enough, though I think with the addition of certain information found on Lord Koval's databank systems, that House shall not stand much longer.

Ishta's finding of Nara as an unexpected ally was indeed a Godsend.  Without that brave young slave planting a remote device in Lord Koval's own chambers we would never have gotten that information onto his systems.  Though she shall never know the part she has played, she shall be well rewarded.

Beyond that, of course, is the happiest news of all.  Celebrations for it have been occurring all over Nakri, as one might expect given the popularity of both the Praetorians and Khimi Harar.  Many will see our joining together as a bright beacon of hope for Amarr's future, and well they might.  I, too, greet this union with joyous heart.  I cannot even begin to list all the positive effect it shall have, but first and foremost to my mind is the closer co-operation that shall spring from it.  Such a natural evolution of our long-standing friendship and alliance was, I believe, inevitable, and I am grateful to see it come to pass.

One outcome I did not expect, though, was Lilya applying to become an Initiate.  She was accepted, of course, how could she not be?  But although I was surprised at her application, I am not unhappy at it.  Quite the opposite.  True, there is likely much that she and I must discuss on a personal level, but I know very well we shall benefit from her presence here.

I suppose I must look to replacing my ship.  We have been carrying out operations against blockades in Domain systems and I would not wish to miss the opportunity to again see the majesty of Praetorian ships alongside those of our brothers and sisters in the rest of Khimi Harar.

God and the Eternal Empress Bless Us All!

 27-08-YC123

Aldrith is leaving us.  I am not sure what I feel about that exactly.  It does not, in fact, surprise me, but something does seem rather ironic about it.  He finds himself, as ever, the darling of our Lord Sarum, so perhaps he feels he has outgrown the Praetorians.  It has been clear for some time that Aldrith's loyalties do not follow the same hierarchy as the Praetorians in general.

I am just curious as to where he places himself.

Doubtless the enemy within will try to make some sort of meaningless propaganda from it.  I could not care less.  I have every faith in Chapter Master Lok'ri leading us forward.  I expect Aldrith will manage to take one or two of the others with him into whatever Sarum levy he is establishing, but I shall be neither asking nor be asked to join.  Being accepted into the Order is still, and shall always be, my proudest achievement, and when I took my vows and swore my oaths, I meant them.

Someone has to.

 22-08-YC123

Going to the ball was exactly the correct decision.

Such a wonderful night, and I am quite sure everyone present had a delightful time.  The music was absolutely divine.  Firstly an orchestra, followed by Arline performing a very heartfelt and moving piano piece.  I fear she does not give herself the credit she deserves for her talent, but not only that, there was something very personal about the piece.  Quite brave of her to play it at such an event and I must make time to speak to her about it.

Arline was followed by a traditional ensemble, who played some very lively tunes.  I thought the waltz was enjoyable enough, but when the dancing became even more energetic, the night really came alive, and one of the highlights must surely have been the Chapter Master performing a sword dance!  I never would have dreamed of seeing such a sight, but I am very glad I did.

Utari and his dear Lady Lasairiona had some very happy news.  They are engaged! Not a surprise in the slightest, of course, as they have made such a handsome couple for as long as I can remember, but an excellent excuse for added joyfulness.

The Directrix and her husband were there also, as was Gah'Matar, amongst many others.  It is heart-warming to see our allies at these occasions for it speaks of the close bonds of Loyal and Faith we all share.  Ishta even brought Sasha along, and though I did not get to speak with them much, every time I looked over they seemed to be enjoying themselves, especially in the faster paced dances.

I am glad to say I did my own fair share of dancing, and I had the sweetest partner for the evening.  Dear Riccoda overcame his inherent shyness and I am very pleased he did.  He is quite the accomplished dancer and a most attentive gentlemen.  There are many who could learn from his example of how to properly treat a lady.

And now I know he has a hidden side and a far deeper quality.  If the Chapter Master's sword dance was unexpected, how then should I describe Riccoda's main action of the evening?  It quite took my breath away.  We had just sat down to eat and rest ourselves from a dance, when, without a word of warning, he presented to me the most beautiful little polished wooden box.  I thought, for a moment, he was going to propose!  But no, inside was, or rather is, for I have it here in front of me as I write, a small bottle, sealed tight, filled with the clearest, purest water.  It is, he told me, the last of the water from the well his family maintained for centuries - 2700 years old!  I still do not entirely understand why he has given such an important family artefact to me, but I know from what he told me that for him to do so is such a momentous, important act for him.  It came from his heart, and it symbolises so much more than a family legacy.  He spoke, just for a moment, of now being the only heir of his family name, but would say no more.  He also mentioned some very strange, something about how this well, that his family had protected for countless generations, had been destroyed by someone from Nakri!  At least, that is what it sounded like.  He would say nothing further and I do not wish to press him on such a delicate, perhaps painful, subject.  I may tell him of his own volition, in time.  I pray that he does.

So I shall hold this gift close to my heart and keep it safe from all possible danger.  A small kiss seems such a poor return for something of such pricelessness, and so I shall look for something I can give in return, to show dear Riccoda that I recognise the honour he does me.  Perhaps there is an ancient wrong that must be righted.

Or perhaps it is a sign of what the future should bring.

 20-08-YC123

Ishta is now inserted into the Koval household.  Not as her, of course.  Quite strange and wonderful the things that can be done with cloning technology.

I am not sure what she expects to find, though I suppose that if there is indeed anything to find, this will be the most likely method of doing so.  She is in constant contact with Control, though should anything go awry - and I pray to God and the Eternal Empress they do not - I do not, in all honesty, really know what we could do.  It is not as if we could suddenly storm the home of our rivals.  Rather foolishly we did not finalise Ishta's exit strategy, at least not to my satisfaction, but Ishta does have a rather wildly cavalier streak so I should not be so surprised.

The Tribals attempted some operation or other above Floseswin.  It seems to have caused something of a stir in the Imperial militia who, for some strange reason, accused Aldrith of all people of disloyalty and heresy!  Heresy.  Those idiots barely know the meaning of the word, they just throw it around whenever someone, anyone, does anything they dislike.  That jumped up gopnitsa Saronu Yassavi is the worst for it, although as one might expect her influence in this case is hidden in the background, manipulating others to do her bidding.  If anyone is a traitor it is her.  Fortunately, however, a rather strong comment from Olacar Xer Sarum has more than stopped any foolishness, even it no doubt has also inflated Aldrith's ego to near-dangerous proportions.

I tease.  That said, I am pleased Aldrith did stop whatever the Tribals were attempting.  Whilst Operation Snegovschina is still underway, I would rather there was as little activity as possible from the enemy.  The more the general population on Floseswin believe that their would-be liberators are seeing traitors and enemies everywhere and targeting even the innocent, the better.  How fortunate that human nature means their will always be someone willing to secure their position with the winning side.

It has not been all work and plotting.  The Directrix - Directrix Phonaga as she is now - gave a wonderful garden tour.  The children's garden in particular was delightful, and I have asked if we can meet for a talk about how such a thing might be created here in Nakri as a space for the many refugee children, some of whom are orphans, that fled here after the Raravoss disaster.  They deserve something to help them recover.  There is also the astounding environmental system that the Directrix developed to consider.  The dear Directrix was also kind enough to let me stay awhile in the reproduction of a Dam-Torsad garden, with it's beautiful statue of Saint Jamyl.  Miss Hennver accompanied me, and what an interesting young woman she is.  Most friendly, one has to say, and certain very open, but she seems a kind, caring soul.  She spoke of looking to work with the Praetorians, as she has worked with Khimi Harar.  I cannot make that sort of decision, of course, but if I am asked my opinion I shall say that I find her pleasant and positive.

There is also a ball tomorrow, held by ourselves.  In honesty, I am not sure, given past experiences, I am really suited to such functions, and I am tempted to make my excuses, but I suppose I should really attend, especially as we, the Praetorians that is, are the hosts.  After all, I cannot imagine there will be anyone there who is likely to sour my mood or make things difficult by their presence, so perhaps I should take the opportunity.  We have had some new Initiates too, including Lady Renaud, and perhaps Celeste and Amicia will be there.

I really should go.

 06-08-YC123

Foundation Day!

God Bless Amarr! God Bless Empress Catiz! God Bless Lord Sarum!

God and The Eternal Empress Bless us all!

 30-07-YC123

I am considering relocating again.  The warzone is, for the time being, in no danger from the Tribals, and my time here is spent largely assisting regular Imperial forces secure strategic sites with the absolute minimum of trouble.  Indeed, I have only seen one Tribal in this past week, and she scurried away as quickly as possible as soon as I appeared on her D-Scan.  It may be worth my time undertaking duties with the Navy again, and I am sure Papa's old colleagues have plenty of tasks.

Ishta appears to have had a change of heart.  Well, not exactly.  She still intends to eliminate the Kovals, but now she wishes to bring a case to the Speakers of Truth!  It seems she has finally not only listened to reason, but also recognised who the heir to this Family is.  I think she hopes to repair things between us, and I cannot deny I would rather that than live with a constant tension between us.  Perhaps we clash because, in reality, we are so similar in many ways.

I am not entirely convinced that the matter will be of interest to the Speakers, or of what, exactly, Ishta intends to bring before them.  There are cruel Holders across the Empire, and if it were considered a serious enough matter for the Speakers, then surely they would have become involved long before now.  Still, it can do no harm, so far as I can see, to allow Ishta to follow this idea, and if the Speakers reject it she may even give up on her crusade against the Kovals altogether.  I do not deny they are an unpleasant family, but there are more serious threats to contend with, threats that I think Ishta's energy and skills would be far better turned against.

I shall give her a call and speak to her.

 27-07-YC123

I find myself unable to care at the news about Nauplius' latest threatened atrocity.  I should care, I imagine, but I do not.  It is just another part of an endless, now meaningless, cycle.  The Unclean Force comes upon me once again and my mind is plagued with the bleakest of outlooks.  We, the Empire, ought to make use of this useful idiot, but we do not.  There shall undoubtedly be reprisals against anyone with even the vaguest connection to the Empire, and is there ever a better reason to secure the safety of Her Imperial Majesty's loyal subjects?  We could justify annexing the entire warzone, but every weak-willed pacifist would rather see such innocents murdered than dare to upset the status-quo.  They will cry out about Accords and CONCORD treaties and other empty nonsense, rather than allowing the heroes who have brought us such an glittering victory be fully unleashed against the enemy.

We cannot even deal properly with the enemy within.  Ishta obsesses about the Kovals, but they are nothing more that our rivals, not a symptom of the sickness that infects our Empire.  She ought to focus her energies on people like Yassavi, who belittle the achievements of our militia simply to further a bizarre personal vendetta against we Praetorians, and in so doing opens rifts that the Tribals leap at to exploit.  Of course, when I point this out, the fool bitch accuses me of "welcoming an enemy".  If anyone is working against the Empire it is her.

Yet, of course, nothing is done.  Little wonder I feel disheartened again.

Amicia has been one ray of light, however.  I hope that very soon we shall finalise the agreement with her family to import certain items that cannot be sourced in Nakri.  Clearly her family has had more than a lifetime of faithful service, but has not once been recognised properly.  I hope having my family at patrons will be accepted as a suitable first gesture.  There shall be so much more than that, of course.  Poor Amicia is most frustrated at Ishta meteoric rise in fortunes, and little wonder.  I think I shall have a firm ally there when the time arises.

Foundation Day celebrations shall be upon us very soon.  I pray this malaise passes before then.

 20-07-YC123

One wonders at times exactly who our enemies are.  I have felt for a long time now that there is a most definite poison running through the veins of our beloved Empire.  Not the obvious heretics and rebels who stand and show their treacherous colours quite openly, but the hidden, insidious figures who profess their dedication and loyalty but at every turn attack and vilify those who defend the Empress and Her subjects.  In all honesty, I would sooner trust Nauplius than that moronic, bitter Yassavi.  At least Nauplius does not pretend to be an ally only to suddenly turn with no cause.

To think that even a heretic such as he shows more support for Aldrith's kind and noble words celebrating our victory and all those who helped bring it about, no matter how large or small their role, than that perpetual embarrassment Saronu, should be shocking.  Alas, it is not.

At least I can say I have some valued friends and allies, who I can truly believe shall bring about a resurrection of proper nobility and honour.  Celeste may be of low-born background, but I can think of few people better suited to being elevated to join our higher ranks than she, and soon enough so she shall be.

Amicia, too, is another rare gem.  I have not had very much opportunity to speak with her, but I can see she is intelligent, driven, and faithful, exactly the sort we need if we are to usher in a new Golden Age.  She is on her way to see me now, and I look forward to our conversation.  I am absolutely sure it shall be most fruitful. 

 19-07-YC123

Coming to the warzone was the correct course of action.  I have felt much better since I arrived.  Not only that, but I have, at least in a small way, done my duty.  I have assisted in patrols, and now even have a kill to my name - with Aldrith's help.  I helped in the liberation of Brin, and now we have gone even further.

The entire warzone belongs to Amarr! Praise the Empress!  With the help of God and The Eternal Empress we have pushed the Tribals back to their holes.  I pray we can go further and wipe the misbegotten abortion they call a government from New Eden.

I should be elated, and in part I am, but I am also very uncomfortable.  Something gnaws at me, an instinctive doubt and suspicion.  I worry about the situation at home.  Since I transferred to the new Praetorian station in Floseswin I cannot push from my mind my concerns over Ishta.  What exactly are her intentions?  For a former slave, and one with such a destructive, rebellious streak, to wield such influence - no, that does not seem at all well.  I cannot for a moment accept the empty-headed rhetoric of Nauplius, but perhaps, in a way, he is correct, that there is something wrong in the Empire.  Perhaps we  have been too liberal.

God grant me peace of mind.  I pray I do not return home to find I have made a horrid mistake in trusting Ishta.  I pray I have a home to return to!

I think I would rather just remain here.

 13-7-YC123

Ishta has made enough of a scene to get her way.  There shall be no union between our House and the Kovals.  I cannot say I am heartbroken, it is not as though it would have resulted in a marriage with a man I wanted, nor to whom I am suitable, but I was willing to make that sacrifice for the good of my family and my people, putting a rest to a rivalry that has lasted countless generations before it spills into bloodshed.  Such a prospect can only weaken Nakri, and we have seen already that we have enemies circling.  Nauplius may have been insignificant, but there are far more dangerous, and less obvious, foes than he.

Yet it seems Ishta would rather have violence and death.  I suppose I should not be surprised.  What else has she ever known?  I do not think she has thought the consequences through, but Papa was right when he told me he was going to reject Lord Koval's proposal.  Ishta is so set against that family that even if I had married Danylo, she'd have soon left me a widow, and everything would have been left in tatters anyway.  I doubt that even crossed her mind.

Nevertheless, although the situation is now changed, we are not left without alternative recourse.  I had hoped to use Nad   

Ishta has been.  We spoke at some length.  I think she perhaps understands now, at least a little, the power and influence she wields.  What she did not realise is that this, her stymying of the plans to bring our family and the Kovals together, was simply the first demonstration of that power.  I do not think, however, that she quite understands, or at least believes, how she has eclipsed me.

I have no appetite for being at home at the moment, not whilst I feel a stranger in it.  Perhaps I should try and find my place back in the warzone again.  Something else I am not exactly suited for, but at least there I can disappear into the background of brighter stars and not feel uncomfortable with it.

 06-07-YC123

Had I not seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed anything in this life could come close to an image of Paradise, nor could I ever have surmised that it would be so close, but after accepting Lunarisse's invitation for a tour of Tebu Amkhiman I swear I shall never see such beauty again until I am finally granted God's Grace.

I could write of the main parts of the station, or of the hangars and defence systems, and surely they would be impressive enough, but my mind can think of nothing but the majesty of the life support system.  Such a mundane and deceptively simple word for what it is!  A perfect array of natural, organic systems, trees, plants, water, all the things that God with Wisdom has given unto any number of planets in New Eden to breath life and health upon them, and the Directrix has recreated it perfectly, flawlessly.

I cannot even begin to bring justice to the sights, smells, and sounds with mere words, but I confess that I was immediately struck with but one thought, one goal.  Nakri must have such things.  In every station in the system.  I have already told Lunarisse that is what I want to see brought to us, shared with us, and she, Praise Be, agreed.  It will take time, of course, and no doubt a lot of negotiation and dealing with a myriad of different individuals and groups, but it will happen, of that I am absolutely determined.

I must also confess that this beautiful ecosystem was not the only thing that caught my eye.  We were accompanied by Paladin Marshal Lord Abdulov.  It seems Providence has seen fit to introduce two handsome war-heroes into my life.  I like him, he has a strong sense of practicality, and I admire that.  He is charming too.  How funny it seems that just as political preparations are being made for my future, these two men, Abdulov and Sokolov.  I would rather think of it as amusing that a cruel joke.  I hope to see more of them whilst such a thing is possible.

Celeste has written to me, actually written! I think that is incredibly sweet of her, and a sign of her good and noble nature.  I wonder what it is she wishes to see me about, but then there is only one way to know.  I shall invite her to Nakri to meet me.

I also wonder if Ishta has understood the message I sent her.   Assuming she even noticed.

 02-07-YC123

I wonder now if accepting Ishta and my brother was the right thing to do.  I am not sure what drives her exactly, but I am not entirely convinced of her motives.  I pray I am simply being paranoid, but what if this has been a goal all along?  Finding a route to power.  She speaks of wanting to make the Empire a better place, yet her method of making this happen is to rule by fear!  To use a clandestine force to eliminate those who do not conform to an idea of what Holder's should be.  Her idea!

She talked last night of intending to kill Danylo.  She seems not to care of the potential consequences, nor of fact that our families are trying to heal the age-old rivalry through more peaceful means.  Does she really believe I want to marry the man?  Of course I do not, but if it brings two noble families closer together then Nakri as a whole benefits.  I am not sure she cares for our home and our people.  Why would she?  It is not her home.  They are not her people.

She also thinks I hate her and do not want her here.  She asked if it was because of her past, or because she reminds me of Sirna.  I cannot deny the last is true, and, yes, that is painful.  Sometimes I wish she was Sirna. But she is not, she is nothing like Sirna.  Sirna would not want this path of bloodshed that could so easily bring ruin upon us if it were to go awry.

I wish Kolya had been born first.  He would be far better suited to being the head of this family.  I could pass over my birthright, I suppose.  Tell Mama and Papa that I relinquish what is mine and give it to my dear brother.  That may cause the Kovals to rethink and retract their proposal, though there would still be much for them to gain by it, even if I was not to inherit the House itself.

Is there another way?  There must be, but I cannot see it. Dear God, please, I pray to you, give me Your Guidance.  Show unto me the course I should take for the good of Nakri, my Motherland and Her People!  Eternal Empress, I beseech thee, give me a Sign as once you did, that I may not lose Hope!

Hope!

Nadezdha!

Thank you God, Thank you My Eternal Empress!

 27-06-YC123

Yesterday was the wedding of Luna and Franco.  What a beautiful ceremony it was!  Luna, of course, looked absolutely radiant, and Franco was surely the most handsome groom I have seen.  They make such a delightful couple, and it was a true honour to be present.  A most solemn and serious ceremony, in full accordance with the Rite, as might be expected.

The only blot was that idiot Amadin standing up and causing a scene when Brother Theodosius, who I must say was a perfect choice, asked if anyone would voice their objections.  If recall correctly, Amadin was, at one point, a suitor of Luna's, though she seems to have fortunately chosen someone more suited.  Of course, he probably thought it was all very amusing, and Franco did seem to take it as a well-intentioned joke.  Amadin is just lucky that Brother Theodosius did as well, or else the ceremony would have been stopped, and it could very well have quickly turned into a funeral.  I suppose one must expect this sort of foolishness from the middle classes.

The reception was delightful.  The happy couple were such an image of love for their first dance, and I am sure they did not let go of one another's hands all night.  And how popular!  It took quite some time to present them with our gifts; a samovar and tea-set from myself, and two bottles of our vodka from the family.  Sasha presented a matryoshka set we had specially commissioned from an artisan in Nakri; the largest made in the image of Luna, then Franco, then down through Luna's children to the tiniest doll, still unpainted and blank.  A promise of the future.  Ishta had made her gift herself, a most fine piece of jewellery.  I swear that Ishta does not fully appreciate the artistic talent she has!  They seemed pleased with the gifts, and Luna's youngest, Stellarisse and Liam, certainly liked the surprise stash of Nakriian sweets hidden inside the samovar.

It was a pleasant night's mingling with the other guests as well.  Aldrith was there, of course, spending much conversation with Aria.  The poor girl seems terrified of him for some reason, and it is not as though I have ever seen her relaxed even when he is not there.  At least she was wearing something other than black for a change.  She rather suited the green of her dress, even if Charles Schmidt disagreed.  Arline had to leave early.  Apparently Aldrith's boy had gotten into a fight.  Like father, like son, I suppose.

I find myself rather fond of Charles.  He amuses me.  I think it is his attitude, though I cannot think of exactly how to describe it.  It is his wit, that is for certain.  Charles is another one of great artistic talent, although he is very much aware of it.  That said, his fashions are famous for a reason, and I am most tempted to take him up on his idea of having him make something especially for me.  I cannot help but wonder what he would create.

It was not just Aldrith who made Aria nervous.  Here in Nakri it is not unusual for someone, usually many people, to get drunk at a wedding reception.  After all, it is a celebration.  Yet that is precisely it - people are happy drunk.  The majority of people who were inebriated last night, and there were very few that I saw, were happy- even Aldrith was happy! - but one in particular was clearly not.  Che Biko is not a man I know well, and I have not the faintest idea of his connection with Aria, but a connection there is.  It seemed decidedly sinister, as though he were keeping an eye on her.  I have no idea what possessed me to walk up to him and tell him he was better than to skulk drunkenly in a corner, but that is what I did do.  I hope somewhere in his head he listens.  Again, I do not know why.

I wish I had been able to take Valerik, but it is probably a little early to do so.  The next wedding, of course, will be Sasha and Ishta, and I fully intend to take him along to that!

 23-06-YC123

A quiet day yesterday, against expectations.  We had assembled with a number of allies to assist in the defence of a station that has been repeatedly attacked.  Alas, the enemy made no appearance, which was a shame as I think many of us, myself included, were rather looking forward to an engagement.  Nevertheless, it was a change of scenery, as I do not often travel to the Kingdom, and it is not so much important to fight alongside our allies as it is to simply stand with them.

It gave me some inspiration too, if that is the right word.  Now that matters in Nakri have settled down again, notwithstanding Ishta make some foolish move against the Kovals, I should turn my focus to other things.  I would not want the guns on my ships to go rusty, so perhaps they should be trained on the enemy more often.

That said, my mind has been a little preoccupied with less war-like concerns.  True, one of those is Valerik.  I have been thinking of him a lot since our date.  I hope I shall be seeing more of him.  After all, men who can pass the vodka challenge are few and far between.  I have also been thinking about Nakri.  I am so proud of my home and my people.  To see how they rallied together in the face of Nauplius' heresies, and now, in the aftermath, I still cannot believe the recruit figures.  Volunteers have come to all the families, ours included, or to Sarum or any of the other Imperial Forces.  It does go to show that to attack on Nakriian is to attack us all, and we are not a forgiving people once roused to conflict.

Given my position and status, I need to set a better example.

No, that is not correct.  

I need to follow the example of my Nakriian brothers and sisters.

 20-06-YC123

I have just docked from an attack on an enemy station owned by some Tribal Alliance or other.  They sent a fleet in some pathetic attempt to defend it.  They barely had the courage to engage and when even when they did, they were utterly ineffective.  I must admit I was rather flattered when they chose to Primary me, but it was barely enough of an attack for our Logistics ships to break a sweat.  I am grateful, of course, for we could never conduct a battle, let alone a war, without the bravery of Logistics.

It was a pleasure and an honour to fight alongside other valued allies, from a number of different militia forces, and Ohpehk Doshu is a most accomplished Commander.  No kills for me this day, though Aldrith got one. Aldrith was also kind enough to allow me to take command of TES Crusade Guard, a Sacrilege-class, as I have no large vessel of my own near Bosboger.  It did mean a clone-jump to Mehatoor, which I am still recovering from.

I am looking forward to telling Valerik of today's action.  I think he really is interested, and at least this time I have met a man who does not have some sort of concern for the enemy.  I like Valerik.  He is not at all what I expected from an MIO officer, especially one whose business is focused on Nakri.  I have a feeling we shall be seeing much more of each other.

Ishta now has a date for her ceremony.   I know just the gift for her, and speaking of gifts, I need to find one for Lunarisse for her wedding to Franco.  

I wonder if it would be too forward to go with Valerik.

 06-06-YC123

The news is positive of late.  All Imperial systems in the warzone have been liberate from the clutches of the Tribals, and our forces shall now be pushing forwards to drive the enemy back into their holes.  I may even be able to fetch a shuttle that has been lingering in Huola for I do not know how long.

Ishta is to be freed soon, which means that her marriage to Sasha cannot be far away.  I am sure the celebrations shall be magnificent, and a welcome occasion of joy for the people of Nakri.  My sister to be is also close to securing her capsuleer's licence.  I shall be interested to see how her career in that field develops.  It rather encourages me to engage in more productive efforts myself.

I had the most unexpected communication today - a Colonel Sokolov of the Ministry of Internal Order.  Obviously their presence here makes perfect sense, given recent events, and I am reassured that they are here, I just did not expect to be contacted myself by the man now leading investigations; I would have presumed he would wish to speak with Papa.

Even less expected was just what sort of a man Colonel Sokolov is.  Aside from the odd coincidence of him sharing his family name with our Security Chief, though I do not believe them related, his manner was not exactly what I would associate with a MIO officer.  Perhaps the best way to describe his mannerisms and pattern of speech is as relaxed?  He certainly has a confidence about him, which comes as little surprise given the number of awards he had pinned to his chest.  A veteran of a number of engagements, including the Elder Invasion.  He is most certainly an interesting man.  Audacious, too - I can think of no-one who would, apropos of absolutely nothing, suddenly ask me to join him for dinner this very evening at one of Nakri's most exclusive and finest restaurants.  I said yes.

I suppose I had better chose something appropriate to wear.  It promises to be a most entertaining evening.  I am sure we have much to talk about.

 23-May-YC123

The vermin is dealt with, at least for now.

I have no doubt that he will continue to be a plague.  He scuttled away as quickly as he could, but at least he knows now what he faces when he tries to bring his filth to my home, against my family.

It was a glorious sight.  The ships of PIE, Khimi Harar, and the Duchy of Fekhoya were such a marvellous sight.  Truly the Glory of God was present, and, of course, The Eternal Empress.  I commanded her namesake again, the greatest honour I could wish for.

The hunt will continue.  If we cannot catch the King Rat, we shall at least trap his minions.  We already have a few, and with enough persuasion, more shall follow.  A trial is set, which, I must admit, I am rather looking forward to.  I should be quite the entertainment, and justice will most certainly be seen to be done.

The more I think on it, the more I am touched by the presence of Lady Deritan - Ithi - coming to aid us.  She, I feel, is a positive omen for the future.  Not simply the fact that she is entrusting the future of her children to me, but she seems to see, so clearly, the importance of unity in our Empire, and the importance of purging the enemy within.  Yes, I rather think we shall build close ties, her House and mine.

Edward and his mercenaries appeared.  I should have expected it, though it was incredibly annoying.  Not because I am not grateful for their assistance - after all, any enemy of Nauplius is welcome-  but rather because his presence will merely add fuel to the rumours that abound regarding my inviting him in.  True enough, only an idiot can ignore the fact that Nadire are free to travel where they will, and they have as much reason to pursue the heretic as anyone.  Still, idiots have an irritating way of causing problems, and Yassavi is just such a one.  I shall have to watch her, but it may be worth my time working in the background for future eventualities. In the meantime, a small word with the editors of the Nakriskaya Gazeta should limit some of the potential damage.  The people of Nakri need only hear about the important protagonists involved in the action.

And let them have their celebrations, they surely deserve it.  They are a good people, my people. Strong and solid in their Faith, devoted and loyal to their allies.  For myself, however, it is almost immediately back to my duties now that the Prayers of Thanks are done.  So many things to do, so many things to prepare for.

I wonder what it will be like to have children in my life.  Twins! A boy and a girl!  Ithi has chosen the most beautiful name for the girl - Ziniah Tenin, Little Dragon.  A Khanid name, and much as adore it, I think it may have to be a name only spoken by the family.  Their surrogate mother may be Khanid, but if they are to be my children, then such a name shall make little sense to others.  I shall give this some thought.  I do not want them to grow up ignorant of their own heritage, but if people are to believe that which we wish them to believe.

But I should rest, and think on this tomorrow.  I must also remember to arrange Ishta's present.  She also has been through much and deserves some celebration.

 17-May-YC123

I can barely write for the tears flowing from my tears.  Such sweet tears of joy as I cannot ever remember feeling, tasting on my lips.

My beloved fellow Praetorians, pilots of LUMEN, allies galore, all giving so selflessly of themselves to come her, to Nakri, to my home, to cast away the dark shadows that try to twist and corrupt my people, my friends, my family.  Everything that I love, that is so dear and precious to me.

The Chapter Master had organised some Confessor-class vessels, a favourite of mine, and named them for illustrious former Emperors.  I was given - my hands shake so much with the thought of it - the honour of commanding TES Jamyl I!

I swear, swear before God, I could feel Her, sense Her, My Eternal Empress with me, guiding me, Blessing me just as she did on that Darkest of Days.

I can write no more.  I can do nothing but think of how blessed I am, how both She and God must, for reasons I shall never know, be smiling upon me.  I must go to Father Mikhail, to the Chapel, and give Thanks and Praise.

I shall never forget this day.

 17-May-YC123

I went to Tanoo last night, to a Ni-Kunni cultural celebration hosted by Lunarisse and her Uncle.  I cannot deny that it took some effort of willpower to attend.  Not because I do not enjoy things Ni-Kunni, indeed the adorable tea-shop here is one of my favourite places, but rather because I did not know if showing my face in public after all that has happened would be acceptable.  Nonetheless, I went, and I am pleased I did, for it has brought to me a realisation.

There is, despite these dark days, much hope for our Empire.  All those in attendance last night shared, I believe, many things in common, but one thing above all.  It is difficult to put into words, but there was, I truly felt, something there that bound us all together, whether we are conscious of it or not.

There was a feeling of progressiveness.  All there want, I believe, peace and security.

My mind is such a whirl at the moment with everything that is happening, but despite my fears, my anxieties, I was instantly greeted as a friend by all who were there, and it made me realise - I am not any of the things I have been called in these last few days.  I love my Empire, my home, my people.  My detractors can say what they wish, for I know the truth, and so do my friends and comrades.  Proof, if such were needed, is in all those who have come, for whatever reason, to help protect Nakri and her people.  LUMEN, PIE, NADSC - they have come to fight a common threat, and more may indeed have come had they been able.

True, there has been bickering, ruffled feathers, and dented pride, but that, I think, is inevitable in life.  Nor is it the first time.  Witness the efforts by all against the Triglavians, EoM, the blood-stained heretics.  This, surely, is a sign of hope of a better future.  Whilst there will always be clashes, differences of opinion, and those who will spew hatred and bile no matter what.

One of Edward's colleagues wrote to me in response to my words of thanks to them all, a young man by the name of Ferrinn Vuhs.  He wrote of wanting, of needing even, to learn more of Amarrian culture.  I had never thought a support of the Federation would ever care for such a thing, yet he shows such open-mindedness that many of us could, I think, learn from his example.  Not yet so jaded as to see things in simple black and white.  I pray that he does not lose that positive quality, for he, I believe, has the potential to do much good work in New Eden.

I am simply writing for writing's sake, I think, but only I shall ever read this words, so it matters little if there is any sense in them.  I must focus for our Operation later.

I was awarded a medal for my rather tiny, insignificant part in defeating Chakaid over Kahah III.  Medals are symbols, of course, and this, to me, is a symbol of what can be done when we work together.  My thoughts of leaving the Praetorians have been foolish, I think, a mindless reaction of that Unclean Force within that bring me such doubt and pain.  My actions may, perhaps, damage this illustrious institution, and I must be so mindful of what I say and do - in that Ishta is very much correct - but could I ever really forgive myself were I do act so selfishly as to resign?  Would they not be more impacted by the loss of a Paladin, no matter how ineffectual I may be?  I took vows.  I must, I shall abide by them.

Ishta shall be awarded her Capsuleer's licence soon.  She too, stands as a shining example of what can be achieved with open-minded dedication.  But then, is she not Nadezhda?  I have a gift for her.  I should speak with her as soon as I have opportunity.

"Surround yourself with the Faithful.  Stand together, for there is no strength like it under the Heavens." 

I think I finally, fully, understand the true meaning of this passage, after all that has happened.  There is indeed no strength like the Faithful together, even if some of those do not even realise they are Faithful.  As Father Mikhail has said many times, those who do God's Work often do not even know they are doing it.

 16-May-YC123

Edward and others from his Security firm came to Nakri.  They took the shields of the heretic Raitaru down.  That will make things simpler for our own attack.

Mercenaries who fight for the Federation came to Nakri, in the Empire, to deal with a heretic that the Empire created - and what did people of the Empire do?  Nothing.

Some verminous creature I believe sent by that pathetic excuse Yassavi verbally attacked and insulted me, even siding with Nauplius, and not a single person even attempted to support me.  No, actually, that is not true.  Again, Edward and his comrades did.

The others, even my own fellow Praetorian did absolutely nothing, said not a word!

Is that what I am worth to them. Silence?

So perhaps the things Yassavi's pet said are true.  Ishta said something similar. I am fit neither to be a Praetorian nor a Holder.  At least I know that Kolya, my dear, dear brother, is more than capable.

I ought to speak to Mama and Papa.  There are decisions that must be made.

I am sure I can find a future somewhere.

 15-May-YC123

If the last day has taught me anything, it is whom I can trust and upon whim I can rely.  Many have shown their true colours in the last few hours, and I admit to some surprises.  Truly God loves mysteries.

I wish Kostya were here.  I have rarely felt so lonely as I do now, and I never felt any such way with him.

Such things cannot be, I must face what I must face alone.  Spiritually, if not physically.

It is time for the storm.

I wonder, though, if I shall weather it.

 13-May-YC123

Eta pisdyets!!!

Every day I deal with the shit that this fucking galaxy throws at me!  I try harder and harder to fight them all!  Have I not for the last three days fought insidious EoM cultists who have been attempting to build a shipyard in my very own home!?!  Have I not done enough?

And now I wake up to find that fucking peasant, that piece of useless insane shit, that uyebok has put a fucking Raitaru in my fucking system!  40 AU from my home!

If that fucking hateful worm thinks he can sit there and spew his lies about my family, try and twist the people, our people, against us then he had better think again, and if he thinks he can use his lies to hide behind being in the Crusade as a protection then he is going to find he is very, very mistaken.

I will have every single person who even sets foot on that station executed as a heretic and a traitor, even if I have to do it myself.  He will reap exactly what he sows, and once I have dealt with him, then people will see just what happens to those who disrespect this family.

 10-May-YC123

I am convinced my days can be divided into two distinct types.  On any given day I am extremely busy, but I either appear to have little to show for all my effort, or there is a plethora of wildly varying results.  Yesterday was the latter.

Of prime importance, of course, was the Procession.  It was marvellous, a true sight to behold.  Countless clergy, as expected, and though Father Mikhail may not have had all the pomp and ceremony of those higher in the Church, he was, without doubt, the most dignified.  Representative Orlov was there, on behalf of the Sarum Family, and besides myself, Papa, Mama, and Nikolai, there were faces from the other important families; Holders, merchant Houses, everyone who is anyone.  All joined together to give thanks for our Victory in Floseswin, and to Pray for the victims of all the attacks against us.  It was a symbol of unity amongst us.  Even Danylo Koval had a kind word to whisper in my ear, at which I could not help but smile.

And, oh! The people! The crowds of people! The main plaza was completely filled, and the holo-screens showed it was no different in any of the other plazas on the station.  Felix told us it was the same on the Sarum station.  There was an vast ocean of banners, placards, and, of course, portraits of loved ones lost, held by those left behind.  It was a beautiful, yet heart-wrenching site.  Even now, sitting in my rooms, my tears at the thought make it so hard to write.  Anyone can say as they wish about my home, my Nakri, but we are as one people, one soul, one heart.

Afterwards, to clear my mind, I took Dido out into the stars.  Nowhere in particular, though the system I jumped in to had a designation.  It was full of those mysterious Sleepers, but I left them well enough alone and they simply ignored me.  It was peaceful, I enjoyed it.

Then, of course, came the most unexpected turn of the day, all born, as it were, from a conversation on The Summit, about children.  Arline had her little bundle of joy Alyssia, who made my heart absolutely melt.  I was selfishly bemoaning the fact that I have no such happiness in my life yet, when Lady Deritan contacted me.  She had been listening to the conversation, and had the strangest proposal.  An adoption!  When she explained to me the circumstances behind her suggestion, I could not but accept.  The story is a tragic one, and though I have no doubt of Lady Deritan's kind and noble heart, her situation is such that caring for the children is impossible for her.  So, soon enough, our house shall have not one, but two little additions. I have told Mama, and she was as thrilled and surprised as I.  Papa was also pleased, but he is ever such a soft one for little children.

I am still absorbing the impact of this change to come.  I am sure that this family will be a perfect place for two small souls to find the safety, care, and love that an other cruel universe would deny them.  I have no doubt that God has acted through Lady Deritan in this, for why else would things come together so neatly with no apparent cause?

All the more reason, then, for this family to continue the task that God has set before us.

 05-05-YC123

May God Bless us all.

My hands are still shaking.  I have always dismissed Equilibrium of Mankind as fringe lunatics but the horrors of today have proved me terribly wrong.  An Avatar, escorted by Revelations, and the Avatar commanded by none other than Chakaid himself.

He fired on Kahah III multiple times with the Doomsday Weapon on his vessel.  I cannot begin to -   I cannot even write about it.  I am going to order some of our Forces, including the 601st, to the planet, to see if we can help.

I look back on the engagement.  It was a scant couple of hours ago, yet feels both like I am still in the midst of it, and that it is years in the past.  I did so little, I think, yet at least I did something.  It fought as hard as I could for what is Right, for the Light against the Dark.  At least I can say I was there.

And so another enemy uncoils from the shadows in which they have lurked for so long.  We shall face them as we face all others.  They shall throw themselves against us, and we shall stand strong.  They shall fail, we shall persevere.

It seems so foolish now, stones against the storm, but I swore at him, the traitor Chakaid.  In Local! "Idi v rot tvoyey shlyukhe-materi!"!  How ill-disciplined of me.  I reported myself to the Chaper Master and Paladin Commanders, of course, for Conduct Unbecoming.

They gave me a medal.  Papa will be proud, but I think I shall tell Mama it was for standing firm in the face of the enemy.

Try as I might, I cannot help but think of the suffering on the surface of Kahah.  I know I shall have nightmares, even with Esfand to help me sleep.

I wish I did not have to be alone tonight.  Any night.

 04-05-YC123

So the circle is complete.  Following a terror attack against the State's Chief Executive Panel, no doubt backed by the Federation, if not carried out by them directly, prompted an immediate response.  One must admire the State for its swift answer, even if their bombardment of Tierijev IV was short-lived.  Regardless, war is now a step closer.

I do feel pained for Edward.  He has clearly taken the Federation to his heart, and his anger was understandable.  Indeed, it mirrors mine at the Tribal and Federation attacks against us.  I am not sure what Yassavi was expecting from him, all but accusing him of hypocrisy at not being outraged at any other attacks.  Why should he be?  Does she rail against our strikes to the Republic?  Of course not, why would she?  She is not as clever as she believes herself to be.  A shame the Holy Institution of Holdership is not based on intelligence; the Empire would have far fewer problems.

And fewer problem is something I would cherish at this moment.  A common brawl broke out last night amongst the 601st, between Alpha and Omega teams.  An overspill of tension apparently.  An unsatisfactory excuse, but I see little point now in punishing any of them.  The sooner they are in action, the better.  I just pray they always come back, all of them.

I had better ready myself for action as well.  It is strange how I do not seem to feel much emotion at the prospect of all-out war.  Perhaps it because I care little for my own fate in it, so long as I serve my Motherland, my Empress, and my God as I should, and bring them no shame.  Perhaps it is because I feel a purpose in it I have long since searched for.  The Proxy Wars are, in reality, unwinnable, without end, and thus feel meaningless to me.

Yet this War, if it comes, may very well be what God and The Eternal Empress have intended for me ever since my time away.  I did not die then.  Perhaps this was the reason.

 29-04-YC123

Now the Gallente attack us, again using a cynosaural field to hit a planet in a high-security system.  Will our supposed allies in the State turn on us next, I wonder?  Our enemies are ranged against us, but we will not cower, we shall not turn from this fight, any fight, and we shall take not a single step backward!  Let them all come, all of them. We shall be ready, and we shall strike them with the fury of God.

All the Royal Houses and their vassals have fully mobilised.  Our own Household forces are assembling as I write this, and very soon I shall be joining Papa to address them.  We shall all fight, of course; myself, Sasha, my dear Kolya. Even Papa will be doing his part with the Admirals and Generals.  Only Mama and Felix shall be left behind.  I pray they will not worry overmuch.

Whilst we cannot rest our efforts against the enemy within, at least inter-family rivalries shall be put aside.  The Kovals are mustering their forces too, and who knows, perhaps we shall all fight side-by-side in the Name of God, for Her Imperial Majesty, for Amarr, for our Motherland.

Edward was in Girani-Fa when the attack happened.  I have asked him why he was there, but he has sent no reply.  I should have known.  Just like everyone else he cannot be trusted.

I feel that Unclean Force, that Darkness coming upon me ever quicker, but this time I shall pray to God to grant me the strength to turn it outward, to turn the hate, the anger, the fury that comes with it upon our enemies.

God Feedeth The Ravens

Sumus Silvestre

 28-04-YC123

The Tribals attacked Tanoo II today with an Orbital Bombardment.  Three Dreadnaughts, along with some support ships.  Of course, they did not last very long against our defences.  Indeed, it took me so long to clone jump to Mehatoor and then travel to Tanoo that by the time I arrived it was mostly over.

I do not know what damage has been done, early reports, as always, are somewhat vague, though ACN is reporting damage as light.  I understand they used a cynosaural bridge to bypass the Ammatar border, but the real question is how shall we respond to this blatant act of war?

Oh, of course, there are voices already saying that we ought not to be too hasty in our judgement, that this was a lone act by some fringe radicals, but unless I am mistaken, at least some of the enemy were Brutor Vanguard, so either they act without any regard for the Republic's own government or that government was in full knowledge of the event.  Others, as might be expected, have yelled the age-old cry of false flag.  Personally, I would not be surprised if it is a double-bluff.  What better way to hide the obvious than in plain sight and have everyone look for a secret conspiracy that never existed.  How ironic that would be after everything in Nakri.

I have to focus my efforts on Nakri.  I feel that Taint, that Darkness rising again.  It is not simply the nausea that I get from clone jumping that make me feel so wretched.  It is long overdue, I suppose, but before I find myself again assailed by thoughts of doubt and despair, I must make sure everything is in place here at home.  Chief Sokolov will announce some arrests soon, and we can have a show trial or two.  Changing direction at such short notice was not easy, but Nauplius' involvement may actually make some things easier for us.

I feel unwell.  I think I shall have Karine fetch some Esfand from my usual contact here.  It should help me sleep, or at least grant me some distracting dreams.

 06-04-YC123

Slava Bogu!

The Operation on Floseswin IV was a success.  Through Prayer and Fire we have freed our brethren and sistren from the torture camps of the Tribals.  What a glorious sight it was to behold the mighty vessels of the Crusade in orbit above the planet.  With God's Grace and Mercy the opposition was minimal, and purely planetary.  The oh-so-very-brave capsuleers of the so-called Tribal Liberation Force and their baying curs did not even attempt to prevent our work.  No doubt they were safe in their holes where they can spit their meaningless curses and empty calls of "freedom".

Indeed, let them do so, for it works only in the favour of Operation Snegovschina, which may now move to the next stage.  Doubtless there are already questions being asked of how so many attacks could be carried out against defended Tribal sites by forces already present on the planet.  There will be recriminations, accusations, and retributions.  I positively plan on it; and whilst all this goes on, and more and more innocents are accused of collaboration with the hated slavers, more and more fall foul of vigilante justice, the would-be saviours of the people of Floseswin IV will sit there, safe and hidden, yet shouting loudly enough that all will see what their devotion to the "liberation" of their people is truly worth.

How busy I am kept.  Aside from that, Edward has asked me to persuade the Holders in Basan to allow a contingent from his group to operate against some mutual enemies there.  It is never a disadvantage to find opportunity to develop contacts and favours.  It is made easier, I suppose, by the fact that Edward's Nadire group has apparently decided not to renew its contract supporting the Federation's war effort.  I must admit a personal satisfaction at such a decision as well.  It will make it much easier for Edward to visit me in the Empire.  I hope he shall do so more often, and be less inclined to hurry back home afterwards.  A foolish indulgence, but I rather like keeping him as long as can.  Perhaps that is encouraging his developing feelings toward me, despite our unspoken agreement that this was just a fling, an idle love affair.  He has obviously picked up some of that well-known Gallente romanticism.

The only blot in this beautiful picture is, as one may expect, Nauplius' continued baffling attempts to besmirch my family.  What would he do were he to find out that aside from Sasha being quite open about his relationship with Ishta, I myself am engaged in a torrid affair with a profligate libertine known throughout New Eden as an insatiable rake, a turncoat-turned-playboy?  No doubt the word "fornicate" would frequently usher forth from his mouth!

The heretic fool's latest spark of genius is drones floating around our properties chanting his vacant-headed slogan.  Fortunately, our dear security services have been very quick at intercepting and neutralising them, though I believe more than one was the source, or perhaps I should say target, of youthful entertainment for some of the boys and girls in the locality.  I rather think we shall see some new sharpshooters amongst our younger recruits in a few years.  I suppose that is something to thank Nauplius for.

The drones do give me an idea.

 02-04-YC123

Operation Snegovschina is proceeding well.  I firmly believe that the results, whatever the outcome of the overall mission of which it forms just one small part, shall be more than worth both the effort and the wait.  How fortunate that Aldrith hit upon his daring plan, or else I might never have been able to put this into motion.  No doubt, of course, Ishta will return with certain reservations; she does seem to be developing quite the moral compass; but at least I can be confident Sasha and the rest of the 601st shall follow their orders without question.

I met with Lady Renaud, Abigail, last night.  I have not had opportunity to speak with her before, and how overdue it was!  Not only do we have much in common, but also our families share mutual interests.  The Renauds require, it appears, security personnel, whilst we, of course, need a reason to rebuild and strengthen Gagana that will satisfy any immediate curiosities or concerns of most observers.  Thanks to Nauplius' little escapade, I know there are mutters and whisperings of suspicion around the Court about our intentions in suddenly acquiring the remnants of a failed military contractor, as well as some doubts about why such a successful company did indeed suddenly fail.  I very much doubt they shall ever discover the truth, but there is never any harm in taking as many precautions as possible.

Besides, another friendly connection is, in and of itself, a benefit beyond measure.  Lady Renaud is clearly an intelligent and ambitious Holder, and if her companion Celeste is anything to go by, someone with a keen sense of judgement of others.  I rather think we can be of great support to one another.  Times are undoubtedly changing, the Empire is changing, even if certain people cannot see it.  I have every intention that my family take full advantage of these developing times, and I believe Lady Renaud has the same attitude.  Trusted allies will be of inestimable value in the very near future.

Speaking of allies, I must arrange a meeting with Security Chief Sokolov.  The people will be expecting an outcome of the investigation into Nauplius' disruption, and a trial needs to be arranged.  It has to run as smoothly as possible if it is to serve its proper purpose for us.  After all, justice must seen to be done.

 15-03-YC123

How strange it seems to one moment be assisting the 601st in a covert insertion to begin Operation Snegovshchina, and the next to be stood next to Edward in the city of Rhamnus, laying a memorial wreath to those lost in the war against the Triglavians.  It was sweet of Edward to ask me to be there, and though I not naïve enough to think that there are not murmurs of dissent at the presence of an Amarrian noble at such a ceremony, let alone the names of fallen Amarrians on the monument itself, I do think it is a powerful symbol of how we can, at time, set aside our differences in the face of a mutual threat.

I should have returned immediately to the Empire, but I could not resist the temptation of the Grand Prix.  Admittedly, there was also the added thrill that my special dispensation to travel in Federation for the purpose of the Ceremony most certainly did not cover entering the race.  Federation security had no hope of catching me, and I thought I was making rather good time.  Until a rather unfortunate encounter in Saminer.  In all honesty I expected to fall afoul of someone lying in wait for racers far sooner.

I do not know whether it was the disorientation I always suffer when waking up in a clone or the adrenaline of the race - though why that would affect a clone I had just jumped to, I cannot fathom - but I slipped into the first fast ship I had.  That was foolish, as I had not fitted it for racing at all, and when I reached Auga for the same thing to happen again!  Well, I am still frustrated at myself for such a wasteful ship.  I am glad I was not on a time-trial, for I lost so much time in properly configuring yet another ship for speed that I would have lost any advantage I may have had.  I was most determined to finish, and finish I did.  How exhilarating.  I rather look forward to trying the Eastern Route next, now I have qualified for it.

I may have do deal with a small matter in Nakri here first, however.  Nauplius has incited a small disturbance, using labourers to cause damage to one of our new Gagana properties.  Agent provocateurs, no doubt, which is, I admit, rather ironic for our family.  Easily dealt with, of course.  I am sure Security Chief Sokolov is but moments away from arresting and interrogating the perpetrators.

 14-03-YC123

I had hoped to strike a small blow against Nauplius in Tanoo, assisting in removing some minor facilities of his, but despite asking me to lend my help, it appears Aldrith was impatient to begin.  Still, one must not complain too much.  It is difficult for some people to overcome their breeding.

Fortunately, the journey was not entirely wasted.  I was able to visit Directrix Aspenstar, Luna, in Mehatoor, and have a personally guided tour of the LUMEN facilities there.  I must say the Empire is most blessed in having LUMEN on our side.  I know I am guilty of harbouring ill thoughts toward them in the past, but I am not so arrogant as to be unable to admit I was wrong in doing so.  Perhaps over time I have come to realise my personal philosophies align quite well with theirs, and I know I have much to thank them for.  Their medical facilities in particular breathed life into a hidden memory, though it was so vague and ephemeral that I could not even be sure it was true.

Oh! The Library!  Papa would be the picture of envy if he saw it, for it puts even our family collection to shame.  I should be most pleased to lose myself in there for as long as I may, even more so as that delightful Brother Theodosius is, if I recall Luna correctly, their new curator.  A most charming and erudite man, and a most consummate one for compliments.  He has a great interest in archaeology and exploration, and I am sure, should we be afforded the opportunity, we shall find much to talk together on.

Being in Mehatoor afforded one more convenience.  Approval was granted earlier today for operations against the enemy to begin.  I am happy to say that the 601st arrived in excellent time from Nakri, and I was able to give them the first briefing on the part we will play - Operation Snegovshchina.  It also removes both Ishta and Sasha from Nakri for a little while, keeping them from any troublesome summons from the MIO or Sarum Police, at least until Mama, Papa, Felix, and I can help in moving investigations in the right direction.  Papa's statement on Gagana is part of that.

All this does make me rather feel I would enjoy a pleasant distraction, of course.  Edward, as always, provides one with his calls.  He is taking part in this Federation Grand Prix, a time trial race around New Eden.  I am almost tempted to partake myself; or perhaps I shall just wait to give Edward a suitable prize when he is done.  I do wish him luck.

 11-03-YC123

I should not have underestimate the impact of Nauplius' smear campaign against us.  Whilst pointing out that we represent everything that he, a heretic, believes to be wrong with the Empire hardly undermines our position, his moronic attempts to stir up some sort of resentment in Nakri have done nothing but attract the attention of Sarum Police Guards and Ministry of Internal Order agents.  That makes carrying out our intentions somewhat more difficult, though not impossible.  Indeed, I am sure there is some way we can turn this to our advantage.

They have performed raids on a number of facilities, though I am not currently aware of them finding anything significant; and unless they uncover some nest or other of Nauplius' lackeys, nor will they.  That said, of course, we must do everything we can to help, and I think Papa intends to offer such in the statement he is preparing.

Customs officers also intercepted one of Nauplius' unfortunate pawns.  Interestingly, aside from an amount of postage which, I am told, are more akin to some sort of indecent publication of sexual fantasy than any sort of effective propaganda, the man was fitted with a Transcranial Microcontroller.  Essentially little more than a mindless automaton, programmed by that simpleton.  To think I had credited him with intelligence that might be useful to us, regardless of his bizarre views!  Well, he shall be of use, just in a different way, perhaps by using his own tools against him.  Felix produces Microcontrollers for aid in the medical services here in Nakri, I wonder if we can come to the aid of this poor, abused wretch of a Brutor.  Show our strength through mercy and forgiveness, and that we recognise the difference between the master of these terrible transgressions against our people and those who are simply used and cast aside by him.

I have no idea if Nauplius even considers for a moment the Nadezhda movement, but he may, I believe, have just strengthened it.  I must remember to repay him.

 04-03-YC123

Truly God blesses our family in the most mysterious and unexpected of ways.  I expect our efforts to undermine and weaken those vile Kovals will still take a long time to bear fruit, but to think that Nauplius, of all people, has potentially advanced our efforts by weeks, perhaps even months!

His ridiculous new campaign of Sedevacantism cannot be gaining any serious follows, and to extend his efforts to Nakri in an effort to besmirch our good name shows just how detached from reality he is.  A pity, really, I had much higher hopes for him.  However, he is still obviously with his uses, for if we can tie the Kovals to him in a way that is convincing then surely all support they have in the Court will simply disappear.  Who in their right mind wants to be associated with a movement so heretical and treasonous.

It does mean, of course, that we will need to also raise our profile amongst the people of Nakri.  More charitable work always engenders popularity amongst the lower classes, and our imminent takeover of Gagana will show that we care for the system's economy, which will doubtless meet with approval from the mercantile classes.  That leaves our own stratum.

A military venture will do the trick I expect.  That always receives nods of approval from the conservative and Old Guard factions, and it is they we need to impress.  Convenient that we have one coming up.  I had, however, hoped to keep either Ishta or Sasha out of it.  After seeing Sasha almost killed, I do not think Ishta has the mental stamina required to undertake operations with him, and I simply cannot afford to lose her to an emotional breakdown.  On the other hand, a little bit of visibility of them both undertaking brave service in the name of Empress and Empire might just be what we need to make sure that Nauplius efforts, unhinged as they are, are countered before even the smallest seed has the slightest chance to take hold.

We will, of course, have to address the matter of his posters that have been plastered all over the place.  I will speak to Papa about that.  The people adore my father and he has always had an easy way with words.  In the meantime, of course, there are other, less visible, means of getting hold of his lackeys.

At least he went to the effort of learning our language.  That is quite sweet, really.