You're where the Wild Things are...

An in-character blog set in the universe of EVE Online. These are the private diary entries of Lady Ekaterina Mariya deSilvestris, a minor Amarrian Noble and Capsuleer. Other existing characters within EVE will be referred to throughout, though any opinions and views expressed are those of this character. These entries may touch on or directly address mature themes such as violence, sexuality, race and ethnicity, and mental health. As noted, any views are those of the character.

Before we begin, I feel it important to say a few words on the subject of mental health. Ekaterina, or Ekat as many call her, is something of a troubled soul. This aspect of her character is a personal choice I have made, for very personal reasons. Although EVE is a game in which the players can immerse themselves to a greater or lesser degree as they wish, mental health is a very real issue for many people. Those two simple words cover a myriad different issues and concerns that affect people directly or indirectly every day all, over the world.

If you find yourself affected by any issues touched upon in these posts, or if you face your own troubles, please know that there are people out there you can turn to; doctors, friends, family - there is ALWAYS someone. If you are an EVE player, then Broadcast 4 Reps chat is available, staffed by wonderfully kind and good-hearted volunteers. If you know of someone who has mental health issues, then please just let them know you are there. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a smile, a cup of tea, a quick phone call about last night's game - just a little thing to show they aren't forgotten.

You Never Fly Alone.
24-03-YC121

Later

I worry for my darling Constantin.  He writes of his duties in Anath, and of how difficult they are.  I think he is not sleeping properly, and such work is weighing heavily upon him.  His pure, kind soul is not for such things, but I know he is strong and brave, and his worries that he shall be changed in some dark, unhappy way are for nought.  I shall do all I can to lift his spirits and cheer him.  I know I am so low and unworthy of his love, for my soul is troubled and impure, the taint of Darkness as is within it.  Yet I must be strong for my love, and push all worries and doubts, all the pain and sorrow that lies within, as far down as I can.  I must be nothing but joy and happiness for My Star, for that is what he deserves. 

I pray that I am strong enough, but I cannot deny that at night, when I am alone, the doubts pound and race through my head, and it grows difficult to shut them out.  I strive to resist the comforts of old, the sharp sting of my Old Friend that has always served so well to ground and stabilise me.  I have enough scars and wounds across my body, and though Dear, Sweet Constantin has never called them ugly, or shown signs of disgust at such marks of weakness, there must surely come a time when even his wonderful patience must expire.  So, strong I must be, no matter how difficult the struggle.  I must  not be weak.


Captain Daphiti has sent a message - I am ordered to take 72 hours shore leave, in apparent recognition of my hard work!  I must confess I do not understand in the slightest.  First Lady Newelle's invitation, then this order.  I have done nothing of any signifance of which I am aware, so why such attention.  What shall I do with 72 hours?  I know what I wish to do - I wish to see My Love, My Sun, but he is in Anath, an active operations theatre.  Surely I am supposed to stay away from anywhere there may be action; but then, my heart so yearns to be with him for even the most fleeting of moments.  Perhaps I should ask Captain Daphiti for permission to travel there?  She may think me foolish, but duty must come first, even before my own emotions, feelings, and desires.  If it does not, if I act selfishly, then I prove only that I am not truly worthy of the Love of such a wonderful man as my Constantin.
Posted by

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)