You're where the Wild Things are...

An in-character blog set in the universe of EVE Online. These are the private diary entries of Lady Ekaterina Mariya deSilvestris, a minor Amarrian Noble and Capsuleer. Other existing characters within EVE will be referred to throughout, though any opinions and views expressed are those of this character. These entries may touch on or directly address mature themes such as violence, sexuality, race and ethnicity, and mental health. As noted, any views are those of the character.

Before we begin, I feel it important to say a few words on the subject of mental health. Ekaterina, or Ekat as many call her, is something of a troubled soul. This aspect of her character is a personal choice I have made, for very personal reasons. Although EVE is a game in which the players can immerse themselves to a greater or lesser degree as they wish, mental health is a very real issue for many people. Those two simple words cover a myriad different issues and concerns that affect people directly or indirectly every day all, over the world.

If you find yourself affected by any issues touched upon in these posts, or if you face your own troubles, please know that there are people out there you can turn to; doctors, friends, family - there is ALWAYS someone. If you are an EVE player, then Broadcast 4 Reps chat is available, staffed by wonderfully kind and good-hearted volunteers. If you know of someone who has mental health issues, then please just let them know you are there. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a smile, a cup of tea, a quick phone call about last night's game - just a little thing to show they aren't forgotten.

You Never Fly Alone.
20-03-YC121

The house is now so quiet.  Nikolai has of course been deployed, and Alexandr has been recalled by Naval Intelligence.  Even Father has been summoned to Navy HQ.  At least Felix will be able to visit Mama regularly and lift her spirits.  She is a proud, strong woman, Mama, but she worries for her family, especially at such times as these.  I have also spent a few days at home, but I shall have to return to Mehatoor soon.  I had hoped I would be sent to Aridia, but it appears our focus remains primarily on Arzad.  I am sure the Admirals are formulating a plan.

Constantin himself is now on Anath.  I received a message from him this morning, saying that he had been ordered there by Directrix Aspenstar, to help the people there who have suffered so horribly.  From all that he writes, they have been through the most terrible ordeal.  The Heretics are more foul and depraved that I had ever realised, and I shall not repeat here the awful scenes of which My Beloved writes.  I pray that he returns safely, that God and My Eternal Empress keep him safe from harm.  I pray also that the gift I gave him gives him comfort whenever he finds time to rest from his work.  My poor Love writes that he is plagued by the most frightening nightmares, so I shall send him thoughts and dreams of my love for him, that may chase away the darkness.

I am so proud of him.  How blessed I am to be loved by a man who thinks so completely and selfless of others, who gives all of himself to help those caught in the most dire of circumstances.  I know, from his words both written and spoken, how much he loves and cares for me, and yet, he left without a word, whilst I slept next to him, pushing aside his heartache and sorrow, to journey to a lawless region, a place of danger and fear even without being visited by such devestation, to tend to those who need the solace and comfort of God.  He thinks nothing of his own wants and desires, only of others, all others, whosoever they may be.  He writes that he wants me to be with him, and perhaps, if such orders come, I shall be, but I know that even then our chances to be together will be fleeting, for I must not distract him from his work.

I shall take from his example, strive to make my soul as beautiful as his, though I know it never can be.  I shall push away all selfishness.  I so desparately want him by my side again, holding me close, but I must trust that such things will come to be in time, when they are meant to be.  Until then, I shall follow my orders and do my duty as I should, and send him words of love and encouragement.  I shall write to him only of happy things, that I might raise his spirits and give him light in the darkness, as he has brought the light of love to my own Darkness.

My voice is not the most trained in New Eden, but perhaps a little recording of a love song shall bring a smile to his lips?  I shall ask Dzerzhinsky to play the tune whilst I sing.  I know just the song, and now it is more fitting that ever, for here I am at home, reading the love letters from far away that are sent to me.  No longer do I simply share that girl's name!

I pray he returns to me soon, and if he should ask me if we may make our relationship more established, I truly believe I shall say "yes"!  Ah, but, Katyusha, put such thoughts away safely for now, to be brought out in better times.  You have duties to attend to.
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