22-04-YC121

The LUMEN celebration was a most enjoyable event, with its share of surprises, and the highlight was, of course, being able to spend so long with Constantin.

He came to collect me, and when Lana brought him to my room I was not even close to choosing a dress.  I thought he would help, but he did not - quite the opposite, for after but a few minutes we were both wearing far fewer clothes.  It was the most enjoyable way to start the evening, though when we did eventually arrive at Gottin's Lamp we were already quite late.

I knew I would be overdressed choosing the dress I did, though no-one seemed to mind - and I was not too self-conscious.  Our hostess, Lady Qerl, was as delightful and accomplished as ever.  She is such a wonderful woman, so kind and charming, but she also has quite the hidden mischevious streak, I think.  I had not realised, but Lady Qerl had organised what they call a "pool party", and everyone was expected to wear swimming costumes.  I had brought nothing, of course, but dear, thoughtful Lady Qerl had made sure there were costumes, very modest ones, that one could make use of.  She also teased poor Constantin mercilessly about keeping his chest covered.  A pity, as he has such a magnificent body, but even an Archbishop - especially an Archbishop - must observe social mores.

We also met a man by the name of Halvora, if I recall correctly - I am not very good with Gallente names - a friend of Constantin's.  He seemed quite well behaved, by Gallente standards, although I sense the two have something of a history, and he strikes me as the type who may lead Constantin into trouble.  Nothing too serious, I should think, but I shall keep my eye on him nonetheless.  Literia was also there.  I did not speak to her, given she is a member of PNS, who stood against PIE in Thebeka.  Why LUMEN should invite her I do not know, but it was not my place to question.  She was with a young girl, a teenager, whom I assume must be her daughter.  I did not catch her name, but she is an excellent swimmer.

I should have expected Ishta to be there, of course, but I simply had not thought of it.  So it was something of an unpleasant surprise to see her.  I thin were it not for Ishta's arrogance and constant smirk of assumed superiority, I could quite like her, but she knows I do not approve of her relationship with Alexandr, and she flaunts the fact they are together in my face.  I tried to avoid talking to her altogether - until Constantin asked me what was wrong and told me something I had not known.

It had been Ishta who had requested Captain Daphiti authorise the shore-leave that allowed me to see Constantin.  I had had not the slightest idea, and she done it because she had been so worried about how hard Constantin had been driving himself.  Ishta had known that his seeing me, my being with him, would help him, and ensure he was properly cared for.  I had not even imagined she would be so considerate, and I have repaid her cruelly.  Though I still cannot approve of her seeing my brother - their stations in life are far too far apart - I felt so immediately terrible, I still do!  I had to do the only correct thing, and I thanked her for her kindness.  After the wickedness I inflicted upon her sister, for her to do something so kind for me, whether she meant it directly for me or Constantin or not!  It seems whenever I try to do the right thing, I fail.  I hope God can forgive my failings.

The drama of the night did not end there.  We moved to the mud-bath - apaprently relaxing and good for the skin.  Poor Constantin had to keep his shirt on, though it soaked through and was not as concealing as Lady Qerl had for, I think.  The mud was indeed relaxing, for I was just beginning to fall asleep on My Love when Liana arrived. 

She did not look well at all!  Apaprently she has been feeling faint and vomiting for the last couple of days, and she even fell into the mud, face first.  This was not Liana's usual clumsiness, and had I not quickly helped her up she would surely have drowned!  She said she was well enough to sit with us, and she seemed a little better for doing so, but I am deeply concerned.  Perhaps it is my own morbid turn of mind, my Darkness, but I worry that this may be no natural illness.  I will make sure the security unit is in Nafrivik as soon as possible, though there seems to be some sort of delay, I know not why.

I must have fallen asleep on Constantin after all, no doubt a combination of the stress of the the last few days.  I have also not been sleeping well, my nightmares have returned.   I awoke this morning in a bed that Constantin had helped me into.  He is so kind, I love him so much.