You're where the Wild Things are...

An in-character blog set in the universe of EVE Online. These are the private diary entries of Lady Ekaterina Mariya deSilvestris, a minor Amarrian Noble and Capsuleer. Other existing characters within EVE will be referred to throughout, though any opinions and views expressed are those of this character. These entries may touch on or directly address mature themes such as violence, sexuality, race and ethnicity, and mental health. As noted, any views are those of the character.

Before we begin, I feel it important to say a few words on the subject of mental health. Ekaterina, or Ekat as many call her, is something of a troubled soul. This aspect of her character is a personal choice I have made, for very personal reasons. Although EVE is a game in which the players can immerse themselves to a greater or lesser degree as they wish, mental health is a very real issue for many people. Those two simple words cover a myriad different issues and concerns that affect people directly or indirectly every day all, over the world.

If you find yourself affected by any issues touched upon in these posts, or if you face your own troubles, please know that there are people out there you can turn to; doctors, friends, family - there is ALWAYS someone. If you are an EVE player, then Broadcast 4 Reps chat is available, staffed by wonderfully kind and good-hearted volunteers. If you know of someone who has mental health issues, then please just let them know you are there. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a smile, a cup of tea, a quick phone call about last night's game - just a little thing to show they aren't forgotten.

You Never Fly Alone.
25-07-YC121

Ishta left for the mission early this morning.  I insisted she take a blessing from Father Mikhail after Alexandr and I gave her a final briefing.  I must say she accept the blessing not only willingly, but with all the solemn grace of True Faithful.  Could it be she has actually accepted God into her heart?  I truly hope so, for I fear she will need all the protection of a nature far greater than that of mortal technology.

I spoke with Father Mikhail privately after she had left for the planet's surface.  I confessed my weak and sinful thoughts and feelings over Sasha and Ishta.  I knew the Father's words would be profound, but did not expect them to be so moving.  Everything he said was right and true.

Love comes not from the human heart, but from God's Kindness and Grace.  We do not choose it, nor who we feel Love for, not truly.  God places it in our hearts for another chosen for us, one who compliments and elevates us. One who completes us.  Have I not had the beauty of such Love placed in my heart for Constantin?  Then who am I to question the Love that has been placed in Sasha's heart for Ishta, and in Ishta's for Sasha?  I have no right to stand in its way, to deny it, or to try to mar and spoil it.

I see and understand now the wickedness of my thoughts, of my animosity towards their feelings for on another.  I pray God will forgive my weakness.  It shall be difficult for me, because of the many things Ishta represents to me, but I must either be strong or at the very least hide my selfish failings away.

I pray that Ishta returns well and unharmed, and I pray that she is rewarded soon with that which she seeks.  She deserves to find peace and happiness, far more than I ever shall.  If   When she returns I hope I can find the courage to say these words to her, so that she may know I no longer harbour any ill-will towards her.

Sirna found her rightful place, through the Grace of God.  I think perhaps Ishta has too.
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