You're where the Wild Things are...

An in-character blog set in the universe of EVE Online. These are the private diary entries of Lady Ekaterina Mariya deSilvestris, a minor Amarrian Noble and Capsuleer. Other existing characters within EVE will be referred to throughout, though any opinions and views expressed are those of this character. These entries may touch on or directly address mature themes such as violence, sexuality, race and ethnicity, and mental health. As noted, any views are those of the character.

Before we begin, I feel it important to say a few words on the subject of mental health. Ekaterina, or Ekat as many call her, is something of a troubled soul. This aspect of her character is a personal choice I have made, for very personal reasons. Although EVE is a game in which the players can immerse themselves to a greater or lesser degree as they wish, mental health is a very real issue for many people. Those two simple words cover a myriad different issues and concerns that affect people directly or indirectly every day all, over the world.

If you find yourself affected by any issues touched upon in these posts, or if you face your own troubles, please know that there are people out there you can turn to; doctors, friends, family - there is ALWAYS someone. If you are an EVE player, then Broadcast 4 Reps chat is available, staffed by wonderfully kind and good-hearted volunteers. If you know of someone who has mental health issues, then please just let them know you are there. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a smile, a cup of tea, a quick phone call about last night's game - just a little thing to show they aren't forgotten.

You Never Fly Alone.
25-06-YC121

It was Sasha's birthday yesterday.  We had a little celebration in Nafrivik.  It is quite charming how the members of his little unit all love and respect him so.  We even found time to call Mama, which pleased her ever so much.  She was very insistent we visit home again soon.  We promised we would find the time.  Birthdays with the whole family are so much more enjoyable and meaningful, but I am pleased I got to spend the day with my little brother.  It took my mind off other things.  Sasha always brightens the day.

Kostya came home to me, eventually, earlier that morning.  We spoke, and in my heart of hearts I know, for his sake, I should have let him be free.  I could not, and if I am truthful, it is because I am too cowardly, too afraid to be alone.  I do love him, of that I am sure, but despite my promises to him to be strong, to trust him, I am not certain of my own abilities.  I can only pray for guidance and strength; pray that God helps me to overcome the feelings of jealousy I know shall strike me.

I can hear them already, in the back of my mind - the doubts, the Darkness, whispering that I am beginning to live a lie.  The only lies are theirs!  I love Kostya, and so long as he loves me, I shall do anything to make him happy, anything at all.

I can ignore the pain.
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