02-06-YC121

I am back with Moya Lyubov, Moya Zvezda!  I knew I would be, but I did not know when. I have been confined to the Newelle Estate since Commander Kley marched me out of the Cafe Marlinea.  I should not have struck Doctor Monakh, I suppose, but what choice did I have?  She insulted my Honour, she insulted the Honour of the man I love!  I am sorry for the trouble I have caused for my superior officers, and with our allies in LUMEN, and I hope they will forgive me, but I am not sorry for my actions.  If I had the moment again, even knowing the consequences, I would do the same again.  I have been honest with my superiors about this.

I feel that they have been too lenient, in all honesty.  A reprimand and no chance of promotion for two months - as if I will ever be successed for promotion anyway!  I offered my resignation, in light of the difficulties I have caused, but it was not accepted.  I am told that not even Directrix Aspenstar wanted that, though I do not know what she did want to happen to me.  Not that I care, for I am very displeased with the Directrix.  She has placed a moratorium on Constantin meeting alone with any female members of LUMEN, even in the capacity of his ecclesiastical duties!  It is unfair - Kostya is the one innocent party in this, and she punishes him.  I do not believe she has the power or authority to interfere with his duties in such a manner.  I thought highly of the Directrix, but now I am not so sure.  What is worse is that nothing at all appears to have happened Druur.  The entire thing is her fault.  The immoral Khanid whore.  I shall require a direct order to serve in a fleet where she is present.

I say there is one innocent party, but there is another.  Poor Liana.  As inappropriate as it was, Lady Llyr and Doctor Monakh were in relationship, and it has now ended.  It is, I feel, for the best - I never felt that the Doctor's influence was anything less than damaging, her being openly anti-establishment and unabashedly proud of her own heresy!  Her Ladyship's people would never have accepted it.  Better that such poison has been removed.  Besides, Liana appears to be getting on very well with Sasha - perhaps this will afford them an opportunity to become even more closely aquainted.

My stay with Lady and Lord Consort Newelle was comfortable, even pleasant, despite the circumstances.  Lady Newelle's slave Sadahti was most attentive and accommodating, and despite Commander Kley insisting it be treated more like an incarceration, I wanted for nothing.  I am still not sure I could really manage the responsibilities of owning a slave, but I could certainly benefit from having a hand-maiden.  I doubt I could find one as skilled as Sadahti, but even with half her ability she would be ideal!  I shall look into that.

Aldrith spoke to me before I left, teasing me about being so formal around him again.  I think sometimes he would prefer the old Katya that he knew from the Academy, but so much as changed since then.  My Time Away having the biggest impact, of course, but it does not seem quite right to be so informal now that he is not only of a higher social status than I, but a commanding officer.  It does feel as though something is missing, however.

Kostya is stirring.  I think I may have exhausted him again last night, but I had to show him I am entirely his, and I wanted, needed to know he is mine.  Even if I had no longer been a part of PIE, I would have still come back to him, to kiss him, touch him, feel him inside me, taste him.  That shall never change.  I shall make the most of my time with him before I have to return to duty.  I shall also make sure I give my prayers of gratitude to God and to Her, and say my prayers for Alizabeth's soul.

Oh, My Kostya, My Love, My Star.  I adore you!