19-02-YC124

Casualties have been ferried back from the Operations Zone.  I must admit, I expected more, and sooner, and indeed more serious, but there are no fatalities, though I do not think any of them will return to active duty particularly soon.

In exchange for the damage we have inflicted on the enemy - security intelligence assets, contact with partisan forces, and communications and supply disruptions, as well as their own casualties, it is most certainly in our favour.  But then how can this not be so when we are so blessed by God, the Saints, and the Eternal Empress Herself?

Nothing can stop us.  Nothing can stand in our way.  Operation Sanctity will be a success!  There can be no other outcome.

And Sasha will return to us, safe and sound, in time to wed Ishta.

Papa has an audience with Lord Osowiec soon.  I rather look forward to the outcome of that.

 17-01-YC124

I sometimes wonder if I should consider retiring from the life of a Capsuleer and concentrate on the duties of my social station.  Can one even retire from being a Capsuleer?

I should not, perhaps, have been quite so blasé of the danger, and I really ought to have taken more notice of the location in which the Anathema I bought was being sold.  Still, it is a small blessing that I had not even fitted  her when those pirates attacked me, and it was rather more a waste of their effort than mine to destroy a ship with nothing to loot.  No profit for them, although something of a loss for me.

I suppose I have now recovered a little of it after a small expedition in a Wormhole, though when one considers the cost of a replacement and an actual fitting out, it is still a loss.  It is not the finances, that barely makes a difference, and soon enough Płaczka will pay for herself.  It is just such an irritation, a tedious chore.  But then everything seems that way at the moment.  Simply passing the time until the next message from the 601st.  Their last Code, ALEKSEY, is promising, just what I was hoping for.  May that continue until Operation Sanctity is concluded, and may God, and Her Eternal Majesty, watch over them.

 10-01-YC124

Finally!  A quiet moment to give some attention to my poor neglected diary after all the activity of the last few weeks.  And such activity, both good and bad.  Where does one begin?

Yoiul, of course.  It was a wonderful time as it always is, all of us together, but this time with Ishta and her family.  They are our family now and must get used to Nakriian celebrations.  I am sure the seemingly endless Church Services must have seemed exceedingly strange to them.  Not that they are any strangers to The Faith, of course, but I do not think they will have seen many like those we have here.  Smells and Bells, as Felix says, although never in earshot of Father Mikhail!

It was the family gathering, though, that was, as ever, the highlight.  Presents galore and as much food and drink as we must have in the rest of the year alone!  Dear Kostya was home - an event for which I am always grateful - and I had given Sasha, along with the rest of the 601st, 48 hour passes.  It is the least I could do given where I was to send them afterwards.

This Yoiul was made thoroughly special by the kindness of The Directrix.  The refugee and orphan children absolutely adored having a visit from Saint Nicolas The Destroyer, and even the older ones let themselves be lost in the moment, putting their traumas away in the shadows for a while.   The Directrix is a soul of pure kindness.  I shall make quite sure she is an admired and respected figure in Nakri, as she should be.

It feels as though there has been so much, and yet I can think of so little to write.  Operation Sanctity is now under way fully, and we received a SHEBA with the Code Word MIKHAIL.  We shall see what comes next, but my prayers are with them every day.  What they do is but the beginning, and an unseen beginning at that, but it of the utmost importance, and I must concentrate my energies upon playing my part in it.  It does, I admit, pain me that I cannot tell Ishta the truth of where her beloved is, but operational security must come before any personal considerations.  I also worry about what she might do were she to know, given how impetuous she can be.  Perhaps there are other things we can occupy her mind and time with.

I wonder, now that Ishta has qualified for the capsule, whether she may be interested in joining some LUMEN expeditions.  The last we had, a strike against Triglavian forces attempting to raid Imperial territory, was most successful.  We must have destroyed at least a hundred of the invaders, with no losses to us at all - and we had but a handful of vessels.  Ah, but a handful of loyal and brave Faithful is more than enough to defeat any foe.  Who can stand against us when God is on our side and we have the Blessings of Her Eternal Majesty?

I know there are things I am forgetting, but I am tired and my mind is whirling with all the things I must do.  Time for prayers and then sleep.  Tomorrow shall no doubt be another busy day.

 12-14-YC123

I dreamt of Constantin last night.  I find myself missing him, the touch of his hand, the grace of his dancing, the press of his lips against mine.  The feel of his power and warmth deep inside.

I know why, of course.  The children.  Seeing the children has made me yearn for my own, and especially visiting the Little One.  Such a delicate, beautiful tiny creature, growing in her artificial womb, oblivious to the violence and terror that brought about her early entry into this life.  How can we not be grateful to God that we have such medical technology that she now survives and thrives?  In the days of my ancestors, both she and Ishta would have been doomed.

Alas, I know that children of my own are not my destiny, yet I am content knowing that I play my part to make New Eden a better place for them all.  I cannot believe that any child anywhere in the universe is unworthy of God's Love and Mercy, yet it must cause both Him and Our Eternal Empress such sorrow to know that so many shall grow up to adults never knowing the Light of True Faith.  That is the reason for the Reclaiming in its many forms. Not for territory nor glory, and most certainly not for power, but so that no child must suffer in ignorance of God's Compassion.

We shall bring it to them all.

Another step forward in Operation Sanctity, and the scope has been widened to accommodate Arline's request for assistance.  Forgive me, Little One, but I must send your father to dangerous places in order that your future be made safe.  If it is at all in my power to do so, I shall do all I can to keep you and all other children from seeing the things I have now seen.  I may have my own inner wickedness, that Unclean Force that clouds my mind and my judgements at times, but I am still of The Faith, still one of God's Children, and I know that my own failings are but little compared to the evil of the enemy we face.

That is not for you to fret over, Little One.  Sleep and dream of love and wonders until it is time for you to wake to your family.

 12-12-YC123

It has been a most active couple of days.  Primarily, Operation Sanctity is now under way.  I shall not even write of it here, lest I tempt misfortune, but suffice to say the first stage seemed simple enough.  There is so much more to come, of course.  All for the future.

There were also some LUMEN-wide operations to support the Emperor Family.  A show of loyalty, true enough, but also an opportunity to build rapport amongst LUMEN members who may otherwise have little opportunity to mix.  I myself took part in Arline's fleet, along with Arrek and Utari, and Scyla Dawn and others from other LUMEN wings.  A positive exercise, most certainly. 

Yet the most enjoyable part of the day was by far Lunarisse's Saint Nicolas celebration.  I cannot even begin to describe what an absolute joy it is to see the children do all they can to convince Saint Nicolas - Utari giving a convincing turn as courtroom judge -  they have been good all year, and the way their faces light up when they receive their presents simply makes my heart lift.  I am quite, quite jealous of their parents.  I hope Ishta shall allow me to take her little one when she is old enough.

The Directrix gave me such a great honour in allowing me to hand out the presents.  Dressing as Snow Maiden brought great luck, even it is a particularly Nakriian tradition that is not so well known elsewhere in the Empire.  Lunarisse also agreed to my request to bring the celebration to Nakri, particularly for the orphan and refugee children we have there.  I pray that soon they shall be able to return to their homes, by the Grace of God.  We shall defeat the Triglavian invaders and drive them back to the abyss from whence they came.  There can be no other way.

Until then, there is so much more to do.

 29-11-YC123

I was not going to attend the Saint Razhden's Masquerade.  Not because Lunarisse does not host the most wonderful events in New Eden - I have no doubt that even the most popular event-planners and influencers in the Federation must be intolerably jealous of her.  However, a little voice over my shoulder persuaded me to go, and I am so pleased that it did, it was just an enjoyable evening.

Everyone wore such wonderful costumes that it really was like being transported back those many thousands of years to the days before we, or indeed anyone, took to the stars.  There were merchants and warriors, slavers and sailors.  The stories that people told were so imaginative too!  I particularly liked Utari's', which I found very moving and thought-provoking.  Of course, he and Lasairiona won the prize for couple's costume, but then as they have always been, are, and shall always be the absolutely most gorgeous couple, it cannot be unexpected.  Not so say that Lunarisse and Franco could not offer them a close challenge, with Lunarisse so radiant in her pregnancy, but, as usual, the ever modest Directrix disqualifies herself from any competition at an event she herself hosts.

Lilya's costume and story were both so enchanting, based around her home of Nafrivik.  The colours of her clothes really brought out her eyes, and I could not but help remember my feelings toward her.  When she came to speak to me, I honestly thought I would not be able to reply for my emotions.  I do hope she did not think me cold toward her.  Oh, Lilya, I am sorry.  Will you ever forgive me?

A Lady Munory also attended, though I do not know her.  Her costume included a retinue of actual slaves - her own - and her story was focused on slavery also.  There was something about her I did not entirely trust, though I cannot exactly say why.  Perhaps it was her rather probing questions regarding Aldrith and his recent insanity.  I must admit I was somewhat irritated by her statement of equating that fool with we Praetorians, and made sure she now has no mistake in her mind that we are represented by any one, self-interested egotist.  We are one made of many.

Arline was also there, and looked magnificently ferocious as a Khanid warrior of old.  She even had skulls on her belt!  I do hope they were imitation, but knowing Arline, I cannot be certain.  Alas, I did not get to speak to her for she disappeared somewhere during my own story-telling, I think.  I hope she is not unwell, for I know she has been troubled lately.

So, yes, my own story.  I honestly had no idea what to dress as, but inspiration hit me and the story flowed from that.  So long ago, my family was not even noble, nor did we even hold the family name we do now, but still we were scouts and explorers of sorts.  So I dressed as the horse archers of that day would have.  A very plain and simple outfit, as one would need when speed and movement are of such importance, I really did not think anyone would notice, not with the wonderful clothing on display by so many others.  Yet that is how my ancestors dressed, and I hope they looked on me with a degree of pride, for I am proud of them, and never more so as I shared the story of the Athran wild-cat.  It was a deeply special moment, and again it just rather came upon me.  Not even Ishta has heard that story, though of course we all know it, as does anyone in Nakri who descends from that same stock - which is most of us - but we rarely speak of such things with others.  I am glad I shared it.

And apparently both my clothes and my tale were impressive enough that so many people voted for me at the end of the competition that I jointly won.  I still cannot quite believe it now.  People are so kind for what was really such a humble effort.

I stopped at the Chapel of Saint Junip on Oris on the way home.  Perhaps it was a twist of fate that I wore the clothes of my forebears and told their story, for I am bound, like them, to scout ahead into dangerous territory for the army to follow behind soon.  Like them, I go knowing the dangers, but also knowing that there is no question about my having to return.  Knowledge of the land, the seas, the stars ahead, and what may face us, is far more valuable than the life of one person, and so it must be brought back.  

I pray as my ancestors did, for speed, stealth, and good fortune.  And for warm food when I get back.

 22-11-YC123

Doctor Etinger tells me I have a mental health condition that is the cause of my unstable moods and propensity to emotional reactions.  Yet he assures me I am still quite sane and have a strong grip on reality, at least for the most part.  I can only assume, therefore, that I am neither suffering delirium nor some form of dissociative episode and the news that has come to me is quite true.

It is, in fact, Aldrith who has so clearly gone insane.

The sheer blind arrogance of that talentless word-hack.  He should have stuck to his angst-ridden, empty-headed doggerel rather than dare to assume himself worthy of joining the ranks of our pure-blooded nobility! And his walking incubator of a wife is barely much better.  An entire status based upon a few lucky shots.  She stains the memory of Empress Jamyl by supporting this idiocy, not to mention the sacrifice of poor, sweet Alizabeth.

Idiocy?  It is far worse than that - it is treason and betrayal of the worse kind.  To side openly with the Triglavian invaders!  If he were capable of feeling shame he would die from it, and it would do him well to do so, before a worse fate comes.  To insult the losses, the deaths, of countless Imperial subjects like that, and all for what?  A personal vendetta against Elkin?  I have no love for her, but her actions pale in comparison to this!  This madness makes even Nauplius look sane - at least he actually acknowledges who the enemy are.

How dare he, that waste of flesh, try to dictate what is and is not treason!  Does he presume himself higher than even Empress Catiz now?  I pray Lord Sarum sees sense and casts the Newelles out before they do irreparable damage to His Lordship's reputation.  What if people begin to think that those jumped-up petty bourgeois represent all of Lord Sarum's vassals?  What then?  They most certain do not!  My family has ever been loyal to the Sarum Family, has never seen conflict between that loyalty and the Throne.  This is what happens when peasants are elevated to the status of nobles, a status they simply do not have the breeding for.  There is only one meaning of breeding they seem to understand.  She seems to do nothing but.

Oh, but their poor children!  What does the future hold for them now?  Damned through the insanity of their parents.  If Arline is still their guardian, she could do no harm by spiriting them all away to a safer place, a family of proven and unwavering loyalty to the Empire.  I would honestly take them myself, and were Lord Sarum to order it so, I would not hesitate.  I have a mind to petition His Lordship, though I cannot imagine he even knows who we are.  We do not preen and bray in order to be noticed by our betters, quiet and content service is our way.

After all that bitter, cynical, paranoid talk of betrayal by others, he now does this.  Yet now I think of it, it was always how people had betrayed him, not the Empire, not the Empress.  Always him.  The warning signs were there then, the conceit, the arrogance.  Say what one may about Elkin, and about the other one - I forget her name - but at least they acted in accordance with a personal, identifiable principle, however mistaken, rather than a selfish vendetta placed higher than loyalty and duty, even to God.

Just another enemy to be crushed, another foe of God and Empire to be vanquished and then forgotten like so much dust in the cosmos.