13-05-YC122

I really must try to set aside more time to keep this diary, but my many and varied duties seem relentless, and as one cycle ends so another begins. At least I have been able to speak with Sasha about the next stage of Operation Cylinder.  His team's successful return to Floseswin, albeit with Ishta's minor case of radiation poisoning, uncovered the second Blackguard device.  Once the third is located we should have all the intelligence we need to move forward.

Of course, I could not very well have Sasha come here to Mehatoor without insisting he see Ishta.  I did not, however, expect them to go to Gottin's Lamp, LUMEN's establishment.  Quite the privilege for Sasha considering he is not directly affiliated with any of LUMEN's allies.  Unless they count the military forces of the Sarum Family as allies and I am still not completely sure if they do.

Sasha even met the Directrix, and says he found her very pleasant and friendly, as well he might!  I must admit I do not fully trust LUMEN or their agenda, not with recent events, but I cannot hold that personally against the Directrix.  She must have a lot of strength and willpower to be able to lead and exercise any degree of control over a group such as LUMEN, with all their differing outlooks and opinions.  They are not like PIE, for we have a unity of purpose and calling that gives us our strength.  Notwithstanding the apparent loss of direction and questionable entanglements with the enemy that some have exhibited recently, of course.  To think I once thought so highly of Palad Lady Elkin.

Unfortunately, my brother was not entirely the ambassador I would have hoped for my family.  Winking at the Directrix!  What was he thinking?  Far too relaxed in Ishta's company, I have no doubt.  I shall have to apologise to the Directrix for his behaviour.  As much as I love dear Sasha, he does forget himself sometimes.  That sort of thing I expect from Felix, of course, with his flippant attitude toward everything.  At least I can trust dear sweet Kolya to set a good example.

I shall also have to find time to sit my Paladin Examination soon.  It is far too overdue and I cannot delay it any longer.  I shall have been the longest serving Aspirant in PIE's history!  I must simply overcome my nerves and trust in the Divine Guidance of The Eternal Empress.  It shall be as She Wills it.

26-04-YC122

Goodness! My head!  It seems that the Diana Kim cocktail is even more volatile than its namesake.  I suppose I did drink six of them, or was it seven?  Then the two vodkas afterward.  Ishta is not even awake yet.

It was an enjoyable night.  I am glad I went.  A little party in a neutral location.  It was really rather pleasant to see so many people who, at any other time, might as easily be at one another's throats.  Commander Kley and Aspirant Onzo, Lord Gallius were there.  I have apparently not noted in this diary that Commander Kley is with child!  I had heard it from one of the PIE hangar-crew, but I was able to confirm the information last night.  I had never thought Commander Kley would be a parent, but I am so very pleased for her, if obviously somewhat jealous.  Oh, well, not everyone can have the same fate, can they?

Lord Gallius appears to be in a relationship with Lasariona Raske - I am sure I have spelled her name wrong, but I suppose that matters little here.  I was a little surprised at that, but not nearly so surprised as I was to see Lady Elkin openly kissing Arrendis!  I had no idea.  No-one has ever mentioned to me that they were together, and I can now understand why she resigned from PIE.  Well, if that is where her heart lies, so be it.  I am sure there must be people who consider that as controversial as Constantin's relationship with Melisma, but almost everything appears to be willingly accepted these days.  I do not think anything about anything makes any sense to me anymore.

I arrived rather late, due to being on duty, and I think I missed most of the singing.  Commander Kley did sing a very emotional and heartfelt tune, which was pretty, and Lord Gallius also sang.  It was most entertaining.  A varying degree of talent throughout the night, but all very much a joy to listen to.  It felt good to see so many people enjoying themselves without any sense of animosity.

Ishta also came along, and did a song herself.  Not just any song, but one in our Nakri dialect!  Her pronunciation was almost perfect, and she sang so beautifully.  Of course, she dedicated it to Sasha. Not by name, but I knew who she was referring to.  I am not sure if she will remember, as she did get quite inebriated afterward, but I shall be sure to tell him.  I wonder if anyone recorded it.  A little later we also did a duet, something loud and energetic.  It seemed to go over quite well.

Edward was there too, fashionably late as one would expect from him.  He looked at me as he sang his silly SOS song.  Honestly, he does make me laugh so.  Trying to be all enigmatic. like some debonair mystery.  I do enjoy his playful mischievousness.  It was not unpleasant to attract his attention for the evening.  I am rather glad Ishta was there, however, and in need of looking after.  I may have done something regrettable had she not been.  He and I flirt outrageously when the mood takes us, yet why should we not?  It is harmless, so long as it does not lead further, and compared to all the other things that no-one seems to comment on, it is hardly the most damning of past-times.  That said, I am sure some of the comments we passed to one another were most outrageous innuendo!  I am probably fortunate that I cannot quite recall what exactly was said.

How regretful it is that now, after such fun, were we to meet in the warzone, we would be enemies.

A gentlemen by the name of Eric, apparently a friend of Edward's was similarly full of mischief.  It was rather to one's liking to flirt a little with him too.  Eric most certainly has a devilish streak, and has no shame in openly displaying it.  A most accomplished singer also.  I hope I shall meet him again in similar circumstances.

We must have been the last ones remaining by that time, but it was impossible, not to mention rude, to leave without a toast, especially once we discovered it was Ria's birthday!  I think the two shots of vodka were just enough to take me to my limit, and it was sadly time to leave.  Strangely, it occurs to me only now that Ria made one or two comments to me in Nakrii, or something similar.  I thought nothing of it at the time, and perhaps it was not the same, as there are a few dialects throughout New Eden that sound close to it.  I should have asked, but it was just nice to hear it.  She and Eric were also drinking tea, rather than alcohol, and I meant to mention the Tea Room on our station, but it slipped my mind.  Perhaps next time.

Speaking of Nakri, I had better get Ishta home.  At least she does not look quite so green now, poor thing.

18-04-YC122

Happy Birthday, My Darling Kolya!

How lucky we are to have communications such as we have today.  Although I have been so terribly busy of late, I could not possibly allow my brother's birthday to pass without contacting him.  I do miss my family, and Kolya most of all.  Now that he has transferred over to the Sarum Navy since the restructuring, he has as much free time as I do, which is to say very little, so we are blessed that the whole family can come together through the network.  That is when it works, of course.  I should think Kolya and the rest of the family have very few problems, but here in the warzone, communications are constantly being interrupted.  No doubt Tribals electronic warfare attempts.  I suppose one cannot be surprised.  We do the same.

It seems so long ago since I faced this warzone with trepidation.  I suppose in many ways it is.  I could never have imagined, back at my very entrance into the Academy, that I would, by this point, be forming a rather impressive killboard.  Indeed, at any point.  Of course, it is nothing when compared with many other far more skilled capsuleers, on all sides, and, personally, I do not consider such things worthy of note, least of all my own, yet I cannot deny that I have come a long way.

There is, however, always a price to pay for success.  I do not mean my losses, for they, now that I have become accustomed to the inevitability of such thing, mean as little as my victories.  No, I mean the loneliness.  Everything is so filled up with duties and responsibilities of one sort of another that I barely seen anyone else in a social context.  I am so grateful to God and the Eternal Empress that I can have these moment with my family, even if it they are only through long-distance communications.  Even when I go back to Mehatoor I do not see anyone I am particularly familiar with.  There are the fights, of course, which pass the time and keep me focused, to say nothing of honing my skills, but little wonder that when I do have some time to myself it is mostly spent in the comfortable numbness of Esfand.

The klaxon again!  Another call to arms.  I barely have time to even write anymore.  I fear this region shall never be secured by anyone. A eternity of fighting.  I wonder - even if one side or another does win, what shall be left for them to display their victory?

01-04-YC122

I honestly do not know what to think about Commander Adams.  Requesting my frozen body from the battlefield in Floseswin is rather disturbing when one considers it, yet to return it to me almost immediately is an act that I can describe only as considerate, perhaps even gallant.  Such a man of contradictions.

Ah, yes, my body.  I had forgotten just how long it had been since I was unfortunate enough to suffer a catastrophic capsule rupture, but then I suppose my luck could not hold forever.  If I feel nauseous when undergoing an expected and routine consciousness transfer, then waking up under more violent conditions makes me feel even worse. The memory loss does not help in the slightest, but spending a full ten minutes vomiting is distinctly unpleasant.  At least it was only one or two hours since my last back-up from a clone-jump.

Reviewing the combat holo is actually rather amusing.  Sliding into a plex into the entire Tribal patrol did not improve my chances of survival.  It must have surprised them as much as it surprised me.  It has taken me some time, replaying it over and over, but finally I see my mistake.  My D-Scan was on 90 degrees instead of 360!  How foolish.  Too eager to get into the fight, I think.

Still, it was not a complete waste.  After getting back into it - dear, sweet Riccoda for encouraging me - I was able to assist in quite a few kills, and even got another Final Blow of my own.  A couple of pods as well.  Empty, as usual, but nonetheless the feeling of vengeance was satisfying.  I only lost two Punishers and a Maller, and, all-in-all, Victory, Granted by God and The Eternal Empress, was ours.  One hopes the Tribals will finally realise that Floseswin belongs to the Empire, but I truly begin to doubt they have the intellectual capacity to come to that glaringly obvious conclusion.

I do not know if news of my "death" has reached other ears as yet.  I do so hope Lilya does not worry if she hears about it, or Constantin either.  Aside from some lingering nausea I am quite alright.  I do wonder, though, how long I shall be permitted to fight in the front lines for.

29-03-YC122

For want of a better word, I was presented last night.  Little more than a formality, really, as everyone there is, I should imagine, already fully aware I am the heir to this family's seat.  We must all follow protocol, of course, and Representative Vanek was there to welcome me on behalf of our Liege. Ishta also came along a my retainer.  I think she was rather overwhelmed. I am sure she has been to the Sarum station before, to see Felix, but the Sarum Family Hall was likely far more than she is used to, even by Lord Pitoojee's standards.  The guests alone, which included anybody of any importance or influence - or wishing to be - in Nakri must have stunned her.  I admit that I was quite swept away myself, especially when Representative Vanek walked me around to introduce me to a number of people whose names I am acquainted , but had never met before.  Flattering, I am sure, but I could not help but notice that each and every introduction was to some handsome young eligible bachelor of some minor family or other.  Such is the price of one's position, to be little more than a political pawn.  I pray I shall have as much choice and influence over my own future as Mama, but where she was the youngest, I am the eldest, and our beloved Motherland is nothing is not strict about its traditions.  Sometimes I quite envy Sasha.  There shall no doubt be strong words and disapproval if he ever does marry Ishta, but at least no-one will conjure up some obscure, centuries-old legality as to why he cannot.

Of course, that said, any potential suitor of mine must reckon with Lilya, and not a single candidate I met last night has any hope against her!  Poor Lilya.  Another aspect of our society that she does not yet understand.  Indeed, I am surprised this has not happened to her.  Young, beautiful, intelligent, well-placed socially - what better catch could there be in the whole of New Eden?  But then, they would have to reckon with me.

The food, drink, and entertainment was, as one would expect, sublime, but there was one occurrence that I had not foreseen.  Representative Vanek took time with Ishta!  I have no idea where they disappeared off to, nor what they discussed, but she was quite pale when she returned.  I have never seen her so anxious before. She was also worryingly quiet on the journey home, speaking but briefly about a price or some such.  I feel I should have tried to elicit from her exactly what had passed between her and the Representative, but as soon as we got back to the Estate, she went straight to Sasha.  Strangely, even Papa seemed less enthusiastic than I expected him to be.  At least Mama was interested when we returned, keeping me up half the night with her questions about who was there, who they were with, what they were wearing, what everyone talked about.  It was such a delightful conversation, even though I was very tired after it all.


Operations in Floseswin have resumed, if they can ever be considered to have paused for even a moment, so no doubt I shall be returning there soon.  Sasha and his team are also going to be redeployed there again.  I do hope that business is done with soon.  Why the Tribals cannot simply accept when they are beaten, I shall never understand.  Hopefully as well, Her Imperial Majesty's forces can all work together.  After all, we are all supposed to be on the same side.

((Dear Reader,

It's been a while since I "broke character" and made a post as me, but I thought I should.  I just wanted to say that, as we go through some troubled times around the world, please look after yourself and others.  Many of us have been told, one way or another, to self-isolated, for our own safety and that of other people, and sometimes this might get quite tough.  But self-isolation doesn't mean you have to be lonely.  EvE has a great community, and friends, family, and loved ones, if not with you, are just a video- or phone-call away.  Maybe there's someone you know, perhaps elderly, ill, or living with physical or mental health concerns.  Give them a call, check how they're doing.  It might be just a couple of minutes for you, nothing big, but it might mean the absolute world to them.  We might not all be health and care professionals doing our bit to hold things together, but we can all do something.  Just because we have to be apart, doesn't mean we can't all come together.

Fly safe.  Love, Ekat.

P.S. Where are all the zombies? Honestly! Worst. Apocalypse. Ever!))

22-03-YC122

I informed Aldrith that Adams had released his body to my care.  He did not seem entirely concerned by it, essentially telling me I could do as I wished.  I have had it given Final Rites - what would I do without Father Mikhail - and interred.

I logged onto The Summit for the first time in a long time.  Constantin's assistant, Roman, was on.  He is most certainly a forthright man, if rather lacking in decorum. He spoke of Constantin driving himself hard again.  I cannot deny I felt a pang of concern.  I remember how harsh he was with himself last year, pushing himself to the point of sickness and collapse.  No doubt his Trib   Melisma will look after him this time, but I would rather not hear of him becoming ill.  I asked Roman to pass on my regards.  I do not think he quite understands the delicacy of the situation, given he was quite outspoken in his opinion about carrying messages, but I trust he will at least say some in his own way.

Today has been a quiet day, unusually.  I have felt somewhat light-headed all day.  It is probably nothing, or at least nothing a drink of Esfand shall not assist in curing.