17-12-YC121
Orders to pull back have been given. The fighting here has been intense, but our morale is still high. I have discussed the matter with Officers of other formations, and it has been agreed. deSilvestris Household Naval Infantry shall act as a rearguard whilst other formations and unit retreat to the mountains. It is likely, therefore, that we shall be cut off, but we shall place our Faith in God. We have plenty of ammunition, and the enemy forces we have so far encountered appear to be less experienced or trained in urban warfare than we are. We are also fortunate in still being in the good graces of the local populace. A little kindness can truly go a long way. However, I am wary that the Tribals may consider this humanity shown by the people to be, in their barbarian eyes, unforgivable collaboration, and I have no wish to place them in any more danger than would otherwise trouble them in a home that is under near-constant shelling.
I suppose the situation may look rather bleak to some, though I have heard no defeatist talk from the Company. They talk only about how many Tribals they will each kill before we all return to Nakri for Yoiul. I am honoured to lead such a brave and noble group of warriors.
15-12-YC121
To think it is but less than two weeks until Yoiul. I fear I shall not be at home with my family this year. Instead, I shall be here, on Floseswin, fighting on the ground, in the rubble-strewn streets. I shall not be alone, of course, for I have the brave soldiers, the men and women of my family's Household Naval Infantry. They may only be a Company, but they are brave and dedicated, and more than capable of facing the hardships of the most brutal arenas of this war.
I had the opportunity to go home, of course. Aside from the traditional lottery that our Household forces always have when festivals fall in times of conflict, Officers with ties to the family always have the privilege of going home. I have given the Right up for this year, however. It did not feel proper to take it, though no-one would have complained, when we are here because Father gave the order as soon as Sasha was overdue on his regular contact. Something must have happened, and that, combined with the simple fact that we have a duty to be here as Vassals of Lord Sarum, means that for most of us, grenades and mortars shall be our fireworks displays, flamethrowers shall be our Yoiul fires, and the mounds of dead Tribals shall be our presents. I gave my place to Vitalyovich Ustinov, a young Matros. His wife recently gave birth to a daughter. It seems only right he should be with them. I gave him a little silver chain as a present for his little one.
We, as a Company, have given presents to the civilian children remaining here, also. Little things, such as sweet treats and what few rations we can spare - or scavenge. It has made us a little more popular than I suspect would otherwise be the case, and with the adults too. This is a good thing. If we can show that we are here to protect, not harm, they may be more inclined to assist us, even if it just in small ways. Already some of the braver, or more street-wise youngsters are proving to be the most observant and attentive helpers, reporting back on enemy movements and maneuvers that they become aware of. I am sure some the older ones would be more than willing to assist us in more proactive ways. After all, everyone trusts children, do they not? Even Tribals.
I must try to get some time to send a message to Mama and Felix, and to Lilya too. Poor thing, I know she shall worry so when she finds out I am here on the planet itself. The orders were so sudden, I did not have time to let her know. I brought the pistol she gave me, and I think of her everytime I look at it. I shall use it to kill as many of the enemy as possible, to defend her and render her safe.
To think it is but less than two weeks until Yoiul. I fear I shall not be at home with my family this year. Instead, I shall be here, on Floseswin, fighting on the ground, in the rubble-strewn streets. I shall not be alone, of course, for I have the brave soldiers, the men and women of my family's Household Naval Infantry. They may only be a Company, but they are brave and dedicated, and more than capable of facing the hardships of the most brutal arenas of this war.
I had the opportunity to go home, of course. Aside from the traditional lottery that our Household forces always have when festivals fall in times of conflict, Officers with ties to the family always have the privilege of going home. I have given the Right up for this year, however. It did not feel proper to take it, though no-one would have complained, when we are here because Father gave the order as soon as Sasha was overdue on his regular contact. Something must have happened, and that, combined with the simple fact that we have a duty to be here as Vassals of Lord Sarum, means that for most of us, grenades and mortars shall be our fireworks displays, flamethrowers shall be our Yoiul fires, and the mounds of dead Tribals shall be our presents. I gave my place to Vitalyovich Ustinov, a young Matros. His wife recently gave birth to a daughter. It seems only right he should be with them. I gave him a little silver chain as a present for his little one.
We, as a Company, have given presents to the civilian children remaining here, also. Little things, such as sweet treats and what few rations we can spare - or scavenge. It has made us a little more popular than I suspect would otherwise be the case, and with the adults too. This is a good thing. If we can show that we are here to protect, not harm, they may be more inclined to assist us, even if it just in small ways. Already some of the braver, or more street-wise youngsters are proving to be the most observant and attentive helpers, reporting back on enemy movements and maneuvers that they become aware of. I am sure some the older ones would be more than willing to assist us in more proactive ways. After all, everyone trusts children, do they not? Even Tribals.
I must try to get some time to send a message to Mama and Felix, and to Lilya too. Poor thing, I know she shall worry so when she finds out I am here on the planet itself. The orders were so sudden, I did not have time to let her know. I brought the pistol she gave me, and I think of her everytime I look at it. I shall use it to kill as many of the enemy as possible, to defend her and render her safe.
12-12-YC121
A second patrol, and more action this time, though no kills. We attacked the Orbital Customs Office in Floseswin operated by those vile barbarians Ushra'Khan. Even through the vacuum of space, the hull of my Punisher, and the shell of my pod, their stink made me retch. Paladin Newelle led the attack, and all was going rather well until a pirate gang, no doubt in the pay of the Tribals, engaged us. Alas, we were not prepared for ship-to-ship combat, and the order to disengage was given quickly. Unfortunately, the mercenaries caught Paladin Commander Newelle, and though My Lady gave a very good fight, she was eventually overcome. There are times when I curse my training and discipline, for though I know always to follow orders, to leave My Lady on the battlefield does not sit well with my conscience, even though such things are routine for such as we, and it is not as if death has its permanency for capsuleers. Perhaps it is the principle of the thing.
Following this, I assisted Chapter Master Lok'ri in securing strategic points in the system, in support of regular Amarr forces. Such an honour to be alongside the Chapter Master. I pray I gave a good account of myself. The Chapter Master has also given me permission to investigate the activities of certain of our "allies". I look forward to that task with relish.
Since the apparent revelation on the IGS, I have thought more about what was said. Whilst I do not doubt that that Matari whore is indeed a spy and a corrupting influence, questions do arise in my mind.
Why has this alleged agency compromised her? So far as I am aware, few people suspected her openly, and she has done nothing directly to draw suspicion to herself. Why throw away an apparently good agent? Indeed, even if she had in some compromised herself, to out ones own operatives seem very unusual.
What if, then, this agency is not, in fact, her employer? That begs the question of who exactly they are, and the question of why becomes even more pertinent. What have they to gain from exposing her? How, indeed, did they even know?
There is more here than meets the eye. If an unknown agency somehow has access to information as sensitive to clandestine operatives and operations, there could be serious implications to others, including the Empire. What other secrets do they know or could they uncover?
I shall speak to Papa about this. I think it is perhaps something we could turn our skills to.
A second patrol, and more action this time, though no kills. We attacked the Orbital Customs Office in Floseswin operated by those vile barbarians Ushra'Khan. Even through the vacuum of space, the hull of my Punisher, and the shell of my pod, their stink made me retch. Paladin Newelle led the attack, and all was going rather well until a pirate gang, no doubt in the pay of the Tribals, engaged us. Alas, we were not prepared for ship-to-ship combat, and the order to disengage was given quickly. Unfortunately, the mercenaries caught Paladin Commander Newelle, and though My Lady gave a very good fight, she was eventually overcome. There are times when I curse my training and discipline, for though I know always to follow orders, to leave My Lady on the battlefield does not sit well with my conscience, even though such things are routine for such as we, and it is not as if death has its permanency for capsuleers. Perhaps it is the principle of the thing.
Following this, I assisted Chapter Master Lok'ri in securing strategic points in the system, in support of regular Amarr forces. Such an honour to be alongside the Chapter Master. I pray I gave a good account of myself. The Chapter Master has also given me permission to investigate the activities of certain of our "allies". I look forward to that task with relish.
Since the apparent revelation on the IGS, I have thought more about what was said. Whilst I do not doubt that that Matari whore is indeed a spy and a corrupting influence, questions do arise in my mind.
Why has this alleged agency compromised her? So far as I am aware, few people suspected her openly, and she has done nothing directly to draw suspicion to herself. Why throw away an apparently good agent? Indeed, even if she had in some compromised herself, to out ones own operatives seem very unusual.
What if, then, this agency is not, in fact, her employer? That begs the question of who exactly they are, and the question of why becomes even more pertinent. What have they to gain from exposing her? How, indeed, did they even know?
There is more here than meets the eye. If an unknown agency somehow has access to information as sensitive to clandestine operatives and operations, there could be serious implications to others, including the Empire. What other secrets do they know or could they uncover?
I shall speak to Papa about this. I think it is perhaps something we could turn our skills to.
10-12-YC121
My first warzone patrol in quite some time, and a somewhat successful one. True, a simple escape pod does not, alas, really count as a kill, and unfortunately I was just a moment too slow to destroy the enemy's Burst - the laughably poor Tribal excuse for a Logistics Frigate - yet it was undeniably exhilirating to execute one of them. I pray that I get further opportunities to inflict Divine Retribution of the Enemies of God.
I was ably assisted by another Crusade member, by the callsign of Vmey or some such. I assumed that he had the honour of the actual kill of the Tribal vessel, but when I requested sight of the official combat logs, it appears that was not the case. The pod loss was listed, but not the ship. I can only assume that the coward self-destructed or perhaps even ejected, as it does not appear on any kill report. How strange. I shall look out for him again - I feel rather cheated, and I simply cannot tolerate that!
Yes, it feels right and proper to be here, to be playing my part in the Service of God and The Eternal Empress.
My first warzone patrol in quite some time, and a somewhat successful one. True, a simple escape pod does not, alas, really count as a kill, and unfortunately I was just a moment too slow to destroy the enemy's Burst - the laughably poor Tribal excuse for a Logistics Frigate - yet it was undeniably exhilirating to execute one of them. I pray that I get further opportunities to inflict Divine Retribution of the Enemies of God.
I was ably assisted by another Crusade member, by the callsign of Vmey or some such. I assumed that he had the honour of the actual kill of the Tribal vessel, but when I requested sight of the official combat logs, it appears that was not the case. The pod loss was listed, but not the ship. I can only assume that the coward self-destructed or perhaps even ejected, as it does not appear on any kill report. How strange. I shall look out for him again - I feel rather cheated, and I simply cannot tolerate that!
Yes, it feels right and proper to be here, to be playing my part in the Service of God and The Eternal Empress.
09-12-YC121
We have told Ishta the truth. It seems only right that she knows the reason God brought her to the attention of this family. It is, admittedly, much for her to take in, for never could she have imagined such a destiny for herself - a destiny irrevocably intertwined with that of this family. She will return to Lord Pitoojee knowing so much more of herself, and when we next see her, I think that she will be quite changed.
It was, of course, a family decision between Papa, Mama, myself, Felix, and Father Mikhail. We were all in agreement it was the correct course of action. We could not deny all the signs any longer. What other reason could there ever be for the strength of the relationship between my brother and her, and my family's complete acceptance of it. Even I have accepted it. It is clear. Ishta is, without any doubt, one the Beacons of God. She will learn to embrace it, in time. Others have, over the centuries, the millenia, and many have found it difficult.
Sasha, of course, we have not told. Even if we thought it the right time for my brother to know, which we do not, we cannot reach him when he is on Operations. Fortunately, Ishta has requested that we do not tell him. Father Mikhail and I are only too happy to agree. The time will come, perhaps, when he has returned.
I, also, must leave soon for the warzone. The struggle will be hard, and with the tide of war turned against us, for now, Victory will not be swift in coming. So even my small efforts are needed there, and I know since my Pilgrimage I must give more. I left a note for Lilya after I last saw her. I hope she does not mind my silently slipping away, but I feel it best. I shall keep her in my heart, knowing that she is one of the most precious things I fight to protect.
May God be with us all.
We have told Ishta the truth. It seems only right that she knows the reason God brought her to the attention of this family. It is, admittedly, much for her to take in, for never could she have imagined such a destiny for herself - a destiny irrevocably intertwined with that of this family. She will return to Lord Pitoojee knowing so much more of herself, and when we next see her, I think that she will be quite changed.
It was, of course, a family decision between Papa, Mama, myself, Felix, and Father Mikhail. We were all in agreement it was the correct course of action. We could not deny all the signs any longer. What other reason could there ever be for the strength of the relationship between my brother and her, and my family's complete acceptance of it. Even I have accepted it. It is clear. Ishta is, without any doubt, one the Beacons of God. She will learn to embrace it, in time. Others have, over the centuries, the millenia, and many have found it difficult.
Sasha, of course, we have not told. Even if we thought it the right time for my brother to know, which we do not, we cannot reach him when he is on Operations. Fortunately, Ishta has requested that we do not tell him. Father Mikhail and I are only too happy to agree. The time will come, perhaps, when he has returned.
I, also, must leave soon for the warzone. The struggle will be hard, and with the tide of war turned against us, for now, Victory will not be swift in coming. So even my small efforts are needed there, and I know since my Pilgrimage I must give more. I left a note for Lilya after I last saw her. I hope she does not mind my silently slipping away, but I feel it best. I shall keep her in my heart, knowing that she is one of the most precious things I fight to protect.
May God be with us all.
6-12-YC121
I have been passed my final examination papers for the promotion to Paladin. Lord Lok'ri assures me I may take my time, seek the advice and wisdom of more senior members of PIE, and that there is no one correct answer to any given question. There are, however, incorrect answers, and whilst I am quite confident I shall be able to avoid that pitfall, I am still quite nervous. I know I have so much to prove, to my commanders, my family, God, Her, and of course, to myself. I cannot deny, also, less honourable motives behind my drive to succeed in this endeavour - ever since that Matari whore was revealed for what she truly is, I want to show Constantin what he threw away. I want him to regret.
Is that cruel upon Lilya? I feel so wicked for thinking in such a way, especially when she is so dear and sweet to me, despite our recent disagreement. I told her about the examination, and she was nothing but supportive. Yet when I tried to tell of my worries of the sickness within LUMEN'S midst, she seemed like all the others - dismissing my concerns as petty jealousy. All of LUMEN seem alarmingly dismissive, uncaring even. They have taken no steps to remove the disease, and I wonder - has the rot permeated so far into them that it is too late? The only two members I truly trust are Lilya and Ishta. I wish there was some way I could be sure of keeping them both safe from that corrupting influence.
Did that poisonous creature bring the illness that wracks them, or did she merely exacerbate something that was already there? The fact that, as a group, they appear to have some sort of moral disquietude towards the Sarum Family's Sacred Duty is concerning enough, but I also hear rumours of them undertaking missions alongside actual Enemies of the Empire! Lord Pitoojee has withdrawn Ishta's contract - a foolish and short-sighted move - because he apparently does not approve her taking part in Operations that support the Reclaiming. I find it hard to believe that the Tribal witch would be able to influence such a one as Lord Pitoojee, and yet a fact is a fact - he has withdrawn Ishta. Is that that bitch's influence, or was he already bound to waver in his service to God and the Empire? Such a pity we cannot devise a way to bring Ishta into our family, especially given how special she is. Perhaps I should speak more with Papa about the matter.
One thing I cannot do, however, is tell Sasha about what I and Father Mikhail have realised about Ishta. We shall, eventually, but not now. He has too much to concentrate on, and I think he still needs time to recover from the unwitting blow Lord Pitoojee has dealt him.
Or was it all that unwitting?
I feel another headache coming on. I showed Lilya my cuts, I do not know why. Perhaps, after our argument, I felt as though I should try to explain some things. I do not know if I was successful. I know I spoke, but I am not at all sure of what I said. The thoughts are all confused in my mind - mixed with the anger and rage, it is so difficult to make sense of myself at times. I think I should return to the warzone as soon as possible, for at least then I shall have focus. I shall miss Lilya so.
I have been passed my final examination papers for the promotion to Paladin. Lord Lok'ri assures me I may take my time, seek the advice and wisdom of more senior members of PIE, and that there is no one correct answer to any given question. There are, however, incorrect answers, and whilst I am quite confident I shall be able to avoid that pitfall, I am still quite nervous. I know I have so much to prove, to my commanders, my family, God, Her, and of course, to myself. I cannot deny, also, less honourable motives behind my drive to succeed in this endeavour - ever since that Matari whore was revealed for what she truly is, I want to show Constantin what he threw away. I want him to regret.
Is that cruel upon Lilya? I feel so wicked for thinking in such a way, especially when she is so dear and sweet to me, despite our recent disagreement. I told her about the examination, and she was nothing but supportive. Yet when I tried to tell of my worries of the sickness within LUMEN'S midst, she seemed like all the others - dismissing my concerns as petty jealousy. All of LUMEN seem alarmingly dismissive, uncaring even. They have taken no steps to remove the disease, and I wonder - has the rot permeated so far into them that it is too late? The only two members I truly trust are Lilya and Ishta. I wish there was some way I could be sure of keeping them both safe from that corrupting influence.
Did that poisonous creature bring the illness that wracks them, or did she merely exacerbate something that was already there? The fact that, as a group, they appear to have some sort of moral disquietude towards the Sarum Family's Sacred Duty is concerning enough, but I also hear rumours of them undertaking missions alongside actual Enemies of the Empire! Lord Pitoojee has withdrawn Ishta's contract - a foolish and short-sighted move - because he apparently does not approve her taking part in Operations that support the Reclaiming. I find it hard to believe that the Tribal witch would be able to influence such a one as Lord Pitoojee, and yet a fact is a fact - he has withdrawn Ishta. Is that that bitch's influence, or was he already bound to waver in his service to God and the Empire? Such a pity we cannot devise a way to bring Ishta into our family, especially given how special she is. Perhaps I should speak more with Papa about the matter.
One thing I cannot do, however, is tell Sasha about what I and Father Mikhail have realised about Ishta. We shall, eventually, but not now. He has too much to concentrate on, and I think he still needs time to recover from the unwitting blow Lord Pitoojee has dealt him.
Or was it all that unwitting?
I feel another headache coming on. I showed Lilya my cuts, I do not know why. Perhaps, after our argument, I felt as though I should try to explain some things. I do not know if I was successful. I know I spoke, but I am not at all sure of what I said. The thoughts are all confused in my mind - mixed with the anger and rage, it is so difficult to make sense of myself at times. I think I should return to the warzone as soon as possible, for at least then I shall have focus. I shall miss Lilya so.
4-12-YC121
Praise God and the Eternal Empress! The sweet, precious taste of Vindication.
They said I was just jealous, just petty, an angry, hurt, jilted lover, spiteful for being cast aside without a second thought. Yet I knew. I knew! The truth is out, posted onto the IGS for all to see, and now everyone can witness what I already knew.
The Matari whore is a spy. Tasked with twisting and manipulating the thoughts and minds of Tribals and Amarr alike, to corrupt their morals and accept the unacceptable.
I have never had such a feeling before. I cannot even begin to describe the sheer JOY! Her handlers have openly admitted not only the mission, but also its sheer and utter failure. She thought she was so clever, so careful, so believable. It failed because of me! If I had accepted their relationship, I am sure others would have too, and no-one would be any the wiser. Yet it made no sense. Reject me? For her? No-one with even the slightest degree of sense believed that, especially as he barely even gave the flimsiest of reasons.
I must admit, of course, that Elsebeth Rhiannon also saw her for what she was. Rhiannon may be a sworn enemy, but I have a respect for her. She is intelligent and insightful. Such a pity she is not on our side.
A clever mission. I almost wish I had thought of it first. They picked the perfect target, of course. Easily turned, willing to see the good in everyone, not a shred of healthy, natural suspicion. I almost feel sorry for him. A part of me hopes that her punishment for failure is of the harshest kind, but I do also have some concern for poor Constantin. It is unlikely that his mistake will be dismissed as unthinking foolishness, and his punishment may also be severe. He may be better to remain with the Tribals.
A thought occurs to me. What if he was not the victim of a plot? What if he was a co-conspirator? That may explain some things. What if some of the things he said to me was a part of it, him trying to corrupt me? I think that perhaps this ought to be investigated further. Things are not over yet.
For now, however, I intend to celebrate! It is not every day my heart is filled with such a sense of happiness.
Oh, Vindication, you taste so very sweet indeed! Thank you, My Eternal Empress, for this gift. Thank you so very much.
Praise God and the Eternal Empress! The sweet, precious taste of Vindication.
They said I was just jealous, just petty, an angry, hurt, jilted lover, spiteful for being cast aside without a second thought. Yet I knew. I knew! The truth is out, posted onto the IGS for all to see, and now everyone can witness what I already knew.
The Matari whore is a spy. Tasked with twisting and manipulating the thoughts and minds of Tribals and Amarr alike, to corrupt their morals and accept the unacceptable.
I have never had such a feeling before. I cannot even begin to describe the sheer JOY! Her handlers have openly admitted not only the mission, but also its sheer and utter failure. She thought she was so clever, so careful, so believable. It failed because of me! If I had accepted their relationship, I am sure others would have too, and no-one would be any the wiser. Yet it made no sense. Reject me? For her? No-one with even the slightest degree of sense believed that, especially as he barely even gave the flimsiest of reasons.
I must admit, of course, that Elsebeth Rhiannon also saw her for what she was. Rhiannon may be a sworn enemy, but I have a respect for her. She is intelligent and insightful. Such a pity she is not on our side.
A clever mission. I almost wish I had thought of it first. They picked the perfect target, of course. Easily turned, willing to see the good in everyone, not a shred of healthy, natural suspicion. I almost feel sorry for him. A part of me hopes that her punishment for failure is of the harshest kind, but I do also have some concern for poor Constantin. It is unlikely that his mistake will be dismissed as unthinking foolishness, and his punishment may also be severe. He may be better to remain with the Tribals.
A thought occurs to me. What if he was not the victim of a plot? What if he was a co-conspirator? That may explain some things. What if some of the things he said to me was a part of it, him trying to corrupt me? I think that perhaps this ought to be investigated further. Things are not over yet.
For now, however, I intend to celebrate! It is not every day my heart is filled with such a sense of happiness.
Oh, Vindication, you taste so very sweet indeed! Thank you, My Eternal Empress, for this gift. Thank you so very much.
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